Baby, I'm Yours
by cendella
Summary: Jackson comes to a realization regarding his relationship with April. This story takes place during season 12, beginning 3 months before the birth of Harriet Kepner-Avery.
1. Lost In Emotion

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… but I'd like to.**

 **A/N: I have been away for a long, long time. The last thing I'd written was in 2015. What can I say, a lot of personal issues kept me away, but I am so happy to be back. I've written several stories before, but never for Grey's Anatomy and I am so excited to add my name to such an illustrious list of fanfiction writers. My stories will revolve almost exclusively around Jackson and April as they are the reason I am so addicted to this show. So, please be honest with your reviews as I "dip my toe" back in. Just so you know, I'm a big fan of song titles as fic names so, there you go.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 1: Lost in Emotion

Watching the two of them standing so close together, Jackson had no right to be envious. He'd brought this situation on himself. Well, not technically by himself, but he was the catalyst and now he had to live with the consequences and seemingly in abject misery.

Not twenty feet away from them, he glared as April and Nathan huddled conspiratorially. As hard as he tried, he wasn't able to pick up any of their conversation and since he couldn't read lips, he had to be satisfied with the fact that they didn't appear to be having an intimate chat, but then again, he didn't know much about April's life these days.

They had found themselves in a messed-up situation. They had been divorced for approximately four months now and as hard it had been being apart from her, not only physically but emotionally, he was trying desperately to move on with his life, but it was proving to be quite difficult.

The first two months after the divorce papers had been signed were a nightmare to say the least. The first few weeks were awkward being that they both still had to see each other every day. While she worked mainly in the ER, he traversed throughout the hospital either conducting consultations, performing operations or in his office dealing with Harper Avery Foundation paperwork, their paths crossing more often than not. Frankly, they hadn't known how to interact with each other. Jackson thought it would be in his best interest to cut ties completely and only engage with her if it was work related. He'd even gone so far as to remind her that they still had a joint cell phone bill and he'd offered to pay his share so that everything was on the up and up. Initially she'd waved him off, assuring him that she would be happy to take care of his share, but after careful thought, he'd decided that leaving that window open, as small as it was, might give her the wrong idea. So, he'd gone back to her with his half of the payment in check form and told her that he'd prefer they do it this way. He didn't want there to be anything still tying them together, as miniscule as it may be. Then not three weeks later, he'd been thrown for another loop.

April had been keeping that fact that she was pregnant a secret from him. Sure, they were divorced, but he'd thought that after all they'd been through, she'd never lie to him about something this important. After Arizona had blabbed the truth to him, April had shown only seconds later, apparently about to tell him herself.

Twelve weeks. She was twelve weeks pregnant and he hadn't known a thing. He was stunned obviously, and he wanted answers, but she'd had none to give. Their conversation was cut short by a page and that just meant his anger only had time to fester and grow. They'd had a big blowup right outside the main entrance to the operating rooms and he'd said some words he still regretted till this day. He was livid to say the least, but to insinuate that he would leave her to raise the baby alone was unconscionable. He was not his father. He was a better man than that, so he went to the apartment they'd once shared together to apologize which only resulted in another disagreement.

The culmination of that argument led them to a misunderstanding about him wanting custody of the baby, retraining orders, his attempt to build a case against her in court and the inability of them to work together as professionals as so rightfully pointed out to him by Dr. Webber.

He was tired. Just so tired of the arguing and accusations that he'd decided to be the bigger person and put an end to it once and for all. So, he'd caught up with April as she headed out to her car and pledged to put an end to their bickering and the custody case that he was almost embarrassed to admit was originated by his mother.

He and April used to best friends. Each other's person and though they couldn't go back to what they had before, maybe, just maybe they could forge a new path. So, they'd gone out to sit and talk about comprising and plans on how they were going to raise their baby together, yet apart.

That led him to where they were today.

While they'd decided to split weeks, and agreed on what holidays each would take, it was the most he'd been involved in any decision making up until this point. He'd gone to one more obstetrics appointment after an initial scare in which they'd been under the impression that this baby too was doomed to not live. Other than that, they'd had no further dealings. But it appeared that April had another man in her life to help her through this emotionally trying time.

Dr. Nathan Riggs was a good friend of April's who'd she met during her second tour in Jordon. There were varying opinions as to whether he was good guy or not, but he and April seemed to have a close bond so as far as he was concerned, Nathan was an all right guy. That didn't mean he didn't have his doubts initially. He and April seemed a little too close for his comfort and he'd be lying if he didn't think even in the deepest darkest part of his soul that they'd had an affair while deployed. Not a physical one, but an emotional one which would have been just as bad as he was concerned. Just the thought that April could be open and honest with another man while she'd kept how she felt from him all the time that they were separated, and she was off in that god forsaken war zone was disconcerting enough. But watching them over the last few weeks had put that silly notion to rest. That was until today.

Jackson was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible as he stood and fiddled with his tablet. Whatever they were talking about, it was involved. She'd say something, then he'd nod his head in agreement or he'd speak and then she'd giggle.

And then it happened, and Jackson felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. Hard.

Nathan had his hand on April's belly. No, that wasn't exactly true. It wasn't just resting there, he was caressing it. With two hands. Obviously, April wasn't bothered by his actions as she smiled happily, her head bent toward his massaging digits.

Only days ago, he had found himself almost in the same situation. He was heading across the main lobby when April called out to him. As he approached, he couldn't help but smile to himself at how beautiful she looked. She was glowing, and he said a silent thank you that she and the baby were both doing well. While she stood two tiers above him on the steps, he absentmindedly reached out to touch her bump. Catching himself immediately, he pulled back, hoping that she didn't see his movements. If she had, she'd politely ignored it and continued with her train of thought.

Jackson would be lying if he didn't admit he'd wanted to feel their baby kick again. After she'd taken his hand and pressed it against her while they talked in the parking lot all those weeks ago, he'd often longed for the chance to walk up to her and place his arms around her and envelop the three of them in a hug just as he had done all those times while she was pregnant with Samuel. But he'd lost the privilege to be that familiar with her, regardless of the fact she was carrying his child.

Uncomfortable with seeing him touch her with such an intimate gesture, he knew he needed to do something, he just didn't know what. April wasn't his anymore. He'd made sure of that and disrupting them with no real cause would make him appear like the jealous husband and he certainly wasn't that anymore. Luckily, fate seemed to be on his side as Riggs' pager chimed, and he hurriedly excused himself and was off to the next catastrophe.

Now he stood there dumbly as April turned to leave when something spurred him into action. It wasn't a conscious thought, at least he wasn't ready to accept that it was, so he screwed his courage and moved forward.

"April." He called out a little louder than he'd meant to causing her to stop in her tracks as several heads looked in his direction.

She turned to him with a welcoming grin.

"Hey, Jackson. What's up?"

Jackson watched her for what seemed like minutes, a blank expression on his face. Shit, this was not how this was supposed to go and now he felt like an idiot.

"Uh. I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing."

By the puzzled look on her face, she was surprised by his attempt at concern.

"Well, I'm… doing okay. And you?"

Throat suddenly dry, he swallowed with great effort. "Good. Really good."

April nodded approvingly and began swaying slowly back and forth waiting for him to elaborate.

Finally snapping himself out of his somewhat comatose stance, he continued. "And the baby?"

She bowed her head and placed a hand lovingly on her ever-expanding midsection. "The baby's doing fine. I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Coleman."

Seeing his look of concern, she reassured him. "It's just a checkup, nothing to worry about. I'll be sure to let you know the outcome. If you want to know, that is."

Taken aback, he noticeably bristled. "Of course, I do. What makes you think I wouldn't want to know?"

"Nothing, it's just that we haven't talked much lately. About the baby, I mean."

"Yeah, I know and I'm sorry about that." Jackson really did feel guilty about that fact. He had no real reason for what she probably assumed was his disinterest in the daily goings on in the life of baby Kepner-Avery.

And almost as quickly as his choice to stop her, a question came tumbling out of his mouth. "Do you have plans this evening?"

"Huh?"

"What I mean to say is, if you aren't busy tonight, would you like to have dinner with me?"

He watched as she stood there, mouth agape.

Continuing as if she weren't staring at him like he had two heads, he clarified. "I thought maybe we could talk about the baby. I don't know if you've started shopping for supplies yet and I was wondering what you needed. I know you have the crib I brought, but I wasn't sure if you'd finished the nursery yet."

Unspoken words passed between them as they both fondly thought of Samuel.

"No, I haven't, but it's on my list."

"Great, so I could meet you back here around…"

April held up her hand and stopped him. "I'd really love to Jackson, but I have plans tonight."

And before he could censure himself, he angrily asked. "With who?"

Eyebrows raised skyward, he took note as her expression changed drastically in a matter of seconds. From surprise to implausibility to anger. "Excuse me, but what business is that of yours?"

Reeling at the force of her words, he answered in truth. "Well, none."

"Exactly." She uttered harshly and turned to leave.

Knowing that if he didn't stop her, he'd miss his chance, he gently grabbed her arm. Jackson wasn't sure what the purpose of his interrogation was, but he knew he needed for her not to go.

"April, I'm sorry."

"You're saying that a lot today." Her note of sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

Holding his hands up in a placating manner, he attempted once again. "April, all I want is an opportunity for us to have a conversation about what's next. There's still a lot of things we left undecided and there's not much time left."

Jackson hoped she'd felt the sincerity of his words.

Releasing a stilted breath, her features relaxed. "No, you're right. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. But I do have a prior engagement this evening that I can't break."

Jackson watched as she chewed on her bottom lips furiously. Obviously, she had something she wanted to tell him but was unsure if she should divulge. Wanting her to trust him enough to share whatever information she had, he unfurrowed his brow, a smirk pulling at one side of his cheek.

Apparently, his attempt at appearing coy worked because she gave in.

"Nathan and I have a Lamaze class tonight."

Jackson wasn't sure what was going to come out of her mouth, but he could honestly say he was unprepared for her confession. And as hard as he tried, he knew he couldn't hide how hurt he was by her admission.

"Oh! I uh. That's um, good. Good for you and Nathan."

Without turning around, he slowly began to back away. What he really wanted to do was hit something. Preferably Dr. Nathan Riggs. It had only been a few months and it looked as if she had moved on.

Jackson was a whirlwind of pent up emotions. Anger. Shock. Confusion. Happiness for her was not amongst them. Pursing his lips, he closed his eyes in an attempt to calm his thoughts and just as he was about to take off, April called out to him.

"Jackson, it's not what you think."

Apparently, she'd figured out quickly what he'd presumed.

"Nathan and I are friends and I needed someone to take classes with me. Arizona was busy, and I didn't have anybody else, so he graciously offered."

Jackson would be lying if he didn't say he wasn't offended. "What do you mean you didn't have anybody else? What about me?"

"You?"

"Yes, me." He answered plainly as if he were talking of someone else.

"No offense Jackson, but I just don't think we're there yet. We barely talk to each other anymore and frankly I don't know how comfortable I'd be with you assisting me."

This was going all wrong, Jackson thought to himself. Gesturing to the waiting area, he led April to a set of chairs in the corner to allow them a bit more privacy.

"Listen April, I know things are weird between us, but we made a commitment to do right by this baby. I'll admit I haven't been as involved as I should be, but I do care what happens to the baby…" Hesitating he added candidly, "and you too."

He knew April didn't know how to respond to his statement. He cared about her? Since when? If he were in her position, he wouldn't believe him either, but he had to convince her otherwise.

"We did this all wrong and a lot of mistakes were made on both sides, but the truth is I want to be the one with you at Lamaze class, not Nathan. I know you said you were okay with me being there for the birth, but I didn't even think about the possibility of anyone else being there for the delivery. This is something we should be doing together. After… after Samuel, I never dreamed we'd have this chance again. It's important to me that this baby knows I'm there from the very beginning."

As her face softened, Jackson figured he had nothing to lose at this point and proceeded.

"I know we can't make up for the things that have happened in the past, but we can make a better future for our child."

He watched as April considered his words carefully. Her head bowed, he waited patiently for her answer. And just as he was about to give up on the notion of her accepting his request, she responded.

"Okay, Jackson, I'll talk to Nathan. I'll let him know that you'll be taking me to class tonight."

Jackson couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. And this wasn't one of his usual grins. He'd shown actual teeth.

"Oh, April, you don't know what this means to me. Thank you."

"I think I do." Rising to her feet she smiled in return. "Class starts at 8:00 p.m. at Thresholds over on 125th Street. I'll text you the details and you can meet me there."

"Sounds like a plan."

Jackson sat there a few minutes longer after she'd left, not believing what had transpired. They had just agreed on something, and this was a big something. Maybe they could move on and be friends after all.

Walking back upstairs, he religiously checked his phone for April's text. He had to admit, he was excited about spending time with her again. They had been friends for so long, then surprisingly lovers and eventually marriage was in the cards, until it all fell apart.

Entering his office, he sat behind his desk and placed his phone down so that he wouldn't miss her text while he completed some paperwork that was long overdue. Unfortunately, his thoughts kept straying.

Really, there was no point in dwelling on all the pain they'd caused each other. For the sake of the baby, _he_ needed to let it go. Laughing to himself, he couldn't believe he'd done what he had. He would never tell April, but watching her and Nathan together so intimately had spurred him into action. It wasn't rational or fair, but even though he'd unsuccessfully been on a few dates already, the idea that April was dating caused an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew what it was like to have her in his life. She was beautiful, brilliant, determined and not to mention a kick ass surgeon. Whatever man ended up with her would be lucky indeed. And just as quickly as he thought of her living that happy life with some other man. Raising his daughter with him, he felt a wave of nausea. He stood abruptly, knocking several stacks of paper to the floor in the process.

He used to be that man. The one with the beautiful, brilliant, determined, kick ass surgeon wife. His world was suddenly spinning, and he knew for sure the reason he had called out to her earlier. He wasn't jealous of the fact that Nathan was close to her and was going to be her Lamaze coach. He was jealous period. He'd held a secret to himself so closely that he dared not even speak it aloud when he was alone. The fact was he'd never been able to just turn off his feelings for April. He had been angry that she'd abandoned him not once, but twice and in his mind, that was unforgiveable, but his heart apparently disagreed.

"No, no, no, no, no." He said speaking out to an empty room.

This wasn't possible. It was too late for them to fix things. They were divorced and trying to move on with their romantic lives. Pacing the short length of the room, he placed his hands on his head in realization of a fact he could no longer deny.

"Fuck. I'm still in love with April."

* * *

 **Story song title - Baby, I'm Yours by Barbara Lewis**

 **Story chapter title - Lost in Emotion by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam**


	2. Borderline

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… dammit!**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 2: Borderline

April turned the corner and made a beeline for the first floor attendings lounge. Dazed, she felt like she was trapped in a fog and needed to sit down.

What she really wanted was to have a nice stiff drink, but that was out of the question. She'd even managed to ween herself of her latest addiction. Dirty Chai Latte's had become her morning fix of late, but since she'd given up caffeine altogether, her only option now was a bottle of cold water.

Opening the partially stocked fridge, she grabbed a Dasani and lay on the long green couch with the mysterious stain and kicked her feet up so that they were perched on the armrest.

"What in the heck was that?" she muttered aloud. Thankfully no one was in the room with her because she was sure they'd think she'd gone nuts. Blinking rapidly, she reviewed the last twenty minutes in her head, trying hard to understand the meaning of it all.

Jackson.

Jackson Avery.

Dr. Jackson Derham Avery.

Her former best friend, person, ex-husband and current co-worker had asked her out on a date. Well, at least it appeared as if he was asking her out on a date. And that's where the confusion began.

They weren't people who went out and enjoyed meals together anymore. They weren't a couple. These days, they barely breathed the same air.

They crossed paths in hallways and nodded civilly. They exchanged technical jargon in the O.R. as they sliced open patients. They met at Emerald City bar and drank sparkling water while agreeing on who would have the baby during what days of the week, holidays and special occasions.

Dinner was something they no longer did.

And what was he doing anyway? His conduct was questionable to say the least. She had spied him from the corner of her eye while he lounged next to the nurse's station as she spoke with Nathan. He appeared to be waiting on something or someone because he surely wasn't paying attention to the chart in front of him. Not wanting Nathan to think her rude, she refocused her attention onto their conversation as they made plans to meet that evening for her natural child birthing class.

Nathan had become a trusted confidant to her over the last few months. He was someone she'd come to rely on for a sympathetic ear, brutally honest advice and she was grateful for his friendship. They'd become comrades in Jordon and she was stunned when he'd ended up staying in Seattle after Kamal's surgery, subsequently joining her as an attending at Grey + Sloan Memorial. With his now constant presence, she'd found herself talking with him more and more while she went through her separation and divorce.

Not many people knew much about Dr. Nathan Riggs, and to be honest, she didn't either. He kept information about his personal life to himself. Hell, it came as a shock to her when she found out that he and Chief Hunt had such a complicated history. He'd never even acknowledged knowing Hunt in Jordan and she was sure she'd talked about Owen several times. But April, always one to look for the good in people, paid no attention to the gossip mill and focused on the man she'd grown to appreciate. So, when she casually mentioned that she planned on taking Lamaze classes and wished that her mother or even her sisters were close enough to accompany her, his suggestion that he be her partner touched her deeply. She'd originally asked Arizona and wasn't too bothered by the fact she'd said she had too much on her plate right now and wouldn't be able to commit the time required.

She and Arizona were still on shaky ground after _the_ _incident_ in which she had taken it upon herself to go against April's explicit wishes and tell Jackson that she was pregnant. She swore she'd done it in April best interest, but April wasn't buying into that particular line of crap. Arizona could never keep her trap shut when there was a secret to be told. She was one of the biggest blabbermouths in the hospital. And when Arizona bowed out of being her personal physician, it was with mixed feelings that April graciously took the list she offered of the very, very, very best obstetricians she knew. They'd been making strides since then on getting their friendship back on track, but when Arizona stated she was unable to help April out, it was of no great concern. Frankly, she needed some clarity and time apart from her, so she prayed to God to give her the strength to open her heart and unequivocally trust in Dr. Arizona Robbins again. Subsequently, she took Nathan up on his offer and tonight was to be their first session.

Jackson had sure thrown a monkey wrench in those plans.

So, back to her current problem… Jackson. His behavior was just plain odd. What had gotten into him today? He almost appeared… jealous? No, she thought, shaking her head in disbelief. That couldn't be it.

For almost a year he'd barely had a kind word for her. Even during the period of their brief reconciliation, he'd half-heartedly participated in marriage counseling. During that period and thereafter, she'd been forced to deal with snide remarks, what appeared to be uncontrollable facial expressions, eye rolls and all out being ignored. It was like dealing with a surly teenager, but she handled it like a pro.

Foolishly, throughout those dark times, she'd hoped he'd remember at their core, they still loved each other. She'd even broken a promise she made to herself not to ask him if they still had a chance after he'd had her served so unceremoniously at work with divorce papers. During the meeting at the lawyer's office, she put her pride aside and asked him if he was sure if this was what he wanted. True to his demeanor as of late, he stared at her with that sourpuss look on his face and left her question unanswered. She prayed he would tell her he wanted to try again because she wanted to share her excitement about the baby with him, but when he leaned back in his seat, steadfast and determined not to bend to her will, crestfallen, she accepted their fate and signed the papers. She kept the news of her pregnancy a secret as long as possible for two reasons. One, she wanted something just for herself no matter how selfish it seemed. She hadn't been genuinely happy in a long time and she needed this. Two, she didn't want him to want her simply for her ability to breed him an heir. She was no one's charity case. She had more respect for herself than that.

Eventually, they'd become cordial with one another again after all the drama with the baby, Arizona, and threats of custody battles had been put to rest. Still, she had no clue what made her say yes to him this afternoon.

Maybe it was his hopeful smile or his pleading eyes? Eh. Who was she kidding? She was and would always be a sucker for him.

Reaching into her lab coat pocket, she pulled out her cell phone and a protein bar. Her first task was to contact Nathan and let him know that his services wouldn't be needed after all. She knew he'd be fine with her decision. When he'd found out she tried to hide the pregnancy from Jackson, he had given her an earful and voiced his opinion. Obviously, it didn't sit right with him. To know that they were putting their differences aside for the baby's sake, he'd be proud of her.

After failing to reach him on the phone, she left a voice mail explaining the situation. He was probably in surgery anyway.

Unwrapping her Coconut Cream Pie Lärabar, she mindlessly chewed as she prepared to text Jackson the location of where to meet.

As she began keying in the information, the door to the lounge swung open and slammed against the wall with a thunderous crash. She looked up with a jerk of her head to find Chief Hunt shuffling over to the coffee pot.

April had always likened Owen to a bull in a china shop. Decimating any obstacle in his path whether it be man or object to get to his target.

"Kepner." His husky voice reverberated around the room.

April quickly swung her feet off the armrest and sat up "Dr. Hunt. Don't worry, I'm on my lunch break."

He snickered, then turned his head to face her. "April, I wasn't worried about you slacking off. I was just saying hello."

"Oh, okay then. Hello." She replied sheepishly.

April was always a bit more guarded when around her co-workers lately, especially Chief Hunt. She didn't want any of them thinking that she was shirking her duties or was less than capbiaple of doing her job. She kept the same hours, performed the same number of surgeries and didn't expect any special treatment in any way shape or form. That's not to say she wasn't taking care of herself. She made sure she had a healthy diet, kept all her doctor's appointments and got plenty of sleep at night. So, when he entered the room, she naturally assumed he'd make a comment regarding her relaxed state.

Owen grabbed a chair from the small dining table in the corner and sat down in front of her. "So, how's our little soldier doing?" He inquired, gesturing with a wave of his hand at her stomach.

April saluted him playfully. "Baby is doing well, Sir. Thank you."

She focused on his now forlorn expression and smiled sadly. She'd recognize that look in his eyes anywhere. After losing Samuel, she'd often seen it reflected at herself in the mirror. Owen had wanted children of his own so bad and April knew he'd make a wonderful father, but for him, the stars had yet to align.

April felt as if Owen was the older brother she'd never had. They hadn't been close initially, but while in Jordon he'd oversaw her training and instilled in her a sense of power she never knew existed. Her training had been intense, and she ate up that knowledge and exceeded everyone's expectations of the perky little red head from Seattle. By the time she'd got her feet good and wet, she had become such a force to be reckoned with and one of the go to surgeons whenever they needed a physician out in the field. Tirelessly and bravely working on injured soldiers, insurgents and civilians caught in the crossfire alike, she'd proudly earned the nickname… _The Machine_. A moniker that even followed her during her second tour.

While she and Owen never had heart to heart talks, she knew he'd always be there if she needed him. His concern for her during her unfortunate public fight with Jackson made that apparent. When he'd found her crying in the empty operating room and inquired as to why she didn't tell him she was pregnant, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, hands patting her back in encouragement. His words soothing her, he assured her that everything would be all right. Safe in his arms, she hadn't realized how much she craved human contact. He'd even volunteered to knock Jackson on his ass for his truly abhorrent outburst. Regardless of the fact he basically owned the hospital.

And just like that, her thoughts wondered back to Jackson.

Eyes downcast, she pondered asking him a question that had been on the tip of her tongue. Convinced that Owen could give her his perspective being that he'd been through the same thing, she surged forward.

"Dr. Hunt? Can I ask you something… personal?"

Owen sat up straighter in his chair. "Sure, go for it."

April brushed a stray piece of hair from her cheek and steadied herself. "I know that you and Cristina had a… complicated marriage, and believe me, I'm not one to pry, but I was wondering…"

Her voice trailing off, she waited for him to nod his head assuring that is was okay for her to continue.

"Well, if Cristina were to come back, do you think there'd be anyway you could salvage what was?"

Owen stared at her, perplexed.

"What I mean is, even after the divorce, could you see the two of you rekindling your romance?"

"Are asking out of curiosity or for personal reasons."

"Oh, no! I was just… curious."

He moved a hand over his mouth to hide the burgeoning smile. "I'll be honest with you. If Cristina showed up on my doorstep today, I'd take her in my arms, tell her I loved her and kiss her with everything I had."

The thought warmed April's heart. Owen's love for Cristina was forever lasting, despite all the drama they'd been through, and they'd been through a lot. And though the specifics differed, their tumultuous relationship could rival her and Jackson's.

Unfortunately, his next words crushed what little hope she'd had.

"But that's not to say we should ever get back together. As much as we cared for one another, the ideal life they we each pictured differed in reality. So much so that neither of us was willing to compromise. Cristina couldn't give me what I wanted, and I couldn't give her what she needed."

At the horrified look on her face, Owen rose from his chair and walked toward her, placing his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

"I don't mean to pry, but I'll assume this line of questioning has something to do with Avery?"

April nodded imperceptibly and wiped away an unshed tear.

"Huh. Well, can I give you some unsolicited advice?"

"Of course, Dr. Hunt. You know I value your opinion."

Owen crouched in front of April so that he was eye level with her.

"I've watched you and Avery from the very moment you stepped through those front doors and I'd never seen two people more different then the both of you. Where he was outgoing, you were reserved. When he seemed overconfident, you lacked the confidence in your abilities. He's always been someone who stood out in a crowd, even without benefit of his name, while when unsure, you tend to hide in the background. Yet, somehow, you balanced each other out. I think it was important that you started out as friends. Cristiana and I never had that. Before we knew _what_ we had, we were a couple. Now I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship with Avery, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I didn't still see love there..."

Owen placed a tentative hand on her knee. "…but, that doesn't mean reconciliation is the answer. You've both been through a terrible tragedy and it broke you in ways that I can't even imagine. I'm not going to pick sides and say who was right and who was wrong, but I do know this. If anyone deserves a happy ending April, it's you."

Eyes glistening, April covered his hand with hers.

"When you first started in the trauma unit, as a mentor I should have nurtured your talents. When you failed your boards and I told you I had to let you go, I could see you were devastated. You told me this was all you had, and I should have listened. Believe me, it was one of the biggest mistakes of I'd ever made. That was my failure. I never instilled in you the belief that you were smarter, better, more skilled than your peers. That you could succeed regardless of the challenges set before you. I should have been in your corner April, and I wasn't. You should know that I see you now. The ways in which you have grown are to be commended."

Rising to his feet, he continued. "Now whatever you decide, just know that you are stronger than that woman on that farm in Moline, Ohio that I asked to come back to Seattle. You'll know the right thing to do."

Walking toward the door, he reached for the handle and paused. Before exiting, he left her with one last piece of advice. "April. Trust your gut."

Falling against the rear of the couch, she considered his words carefully. She couldn't deny that the idea of spending time with Jackson excited her, but she was apprehensive none the less. Not so much that she'd have to have small talk with him, but that they'd be placed in an intimate position.

There was a time when Jackson would only need brush up against her and she could feel the flames of desire shoot throughout her body. How was she supposed to survive the night with him sitting behind her like that? Her body cradled against his. His bronzed, muscular arms wrapped around her waist. His large, strong and very capable hands caressing her belly. His sweet warm breath blowing gently puffs behind her ear. Just thinking about it was enough to cause a reaction.

April shivered and crossed her legs as her core heated. This was the only part she hated about being pregnant and unattached. She was so damned horny. She felt her face flush, so she used a magazine from the coffee table in front of her to fan herself. Shit! How was she expected to get through this evening, let alone eight more sessions?

Maybe she was worrying for nothing. Surely, she had misinterpreted things. He was only trying to be nice. Besides he was going to be with her during the delivery. It only made sense that he participated and learned the techniques same as she did. Besides, she was going to need a coach. Yeah, that was it. It was all very innocent, and all she had to do was remember that.

April picked up her cell again and texted Jackson the address.

 **Meet me outside Thresholds. 2611 NE 125** **th** **Street at 7:45** _ **.**_

April held her breath as she waited for confirmation. Maybe he'd changed his mind. If that was the case, she still had time to call Riggs back. And after five minutes of waiting and she still hadn't received a response, she relaxed. Now all she had to do was find Nathan.

As she left the lounge she heard a familiar bling from deep in her pocket and lifted it out to view the sender.

It was him.

 **I'll be there. ;)**

A winky face emoticon? The Jackson she knew didn't use emoticons. Yeah, this day got infinitely weirder the longer it went on. Well, there was no way out it now, unless a massive car pileup came through the ER.

Realizing what she'd thought, she stopped in her tracks and looked up. Clasping her hands together in prayer, she whispered to the heavens above.

"God, please forgive me and my selfish thoughts. Keep those who travel these roads tonight safe from harm. Amen."

She stood there for a moment with a grimace on her face, just waiting for the lightening to strike her down. Okay, maybe not lightening, but any sign that God was displeased with her.

Reassured that she had escaped his wrath, she headed down the main hall to the ER so she could finish her shift. Thankfully, the rest of the day went by in a blur as she was kept busy with fractures, lacerations and one paranoid patient who came in with a mild case of the flu who thought he had Ebola. This left her with very left her little time to obsess over meeting Jackson this evening.

Untying her surgical gown, she tossed it and a pair of gloves in the toxic waste bin. After charting the results of her last patient, she went to change into her street clothes.

Determined, she decided that whatever Jackson's endgame was, she vowed not to be pulled back into this maddening circle where they kept going around and round. Blaming each other for their failed marriage. April stating that he gave up on them. Jackson declaring that she abandoned him first.

She was going to remember that this was all about the baby. Nothing more.

Follow your instincts. Isn't that what Owen said.

Jackson Avery was not going to get the opportunity to break her heart again.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Chapter 2 song title – Borderline by Madonna**

 **FYI – Jackson's middle name Derham, will be explained in a later chapter.**


	3. Love On The Brain

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… *sigh.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 3: Love On The Brain

Jackson looked at the clock on the dashboard for the umpteenth time. Irritated by the fact that only five minutes had passed since he'd last checked, he went back to fiddling with his phone. He'd been sitting in his car outside of Thresholds for the past hour waiting for his partner to show up. April had texted that they meet at 7:45pm, but he had been too anxious to hang around the hospital until class started, so he decided to leave right after his shift was over and take a short drive to calm his nerves. To be honest, the main reason he decided to leave so early was because he was afraid he would cross paths with April before he was scheduled too, and he had no clue as to how he was supposed to act around her in view of the revelation he'd had a mere six hours ago.

What if he saw her and she wanted to talk? What if she'd changed her mind about wanting him to be her Lamaze coach? What the hell was he supposed to say after his unusual behavior this morning?

 _Hey, April. I've come to the sudden realization that I've made a terrible mistake in divorcing you and we should give us another try. Just ignore the fact that I've been distant, uncommunicative, unwilling to compromise and in general, an ass to you for the past year._

"Yeah, that would win her over." he said sarcastically, thankful that no one was around to hear his outburst.

When he'd approached her this morning, he'd had no idea what he'd said would come flying out of his mouth. Talking about buying items for the baby. Offering to help her with her Lamaze. Kind of asking her out on a date. Those were all spur of the moment suggestions and he was baffled as to why he'd done it. Well, that was until he realized he was still in love with April.

If truth be told, it wasn't all that much of a revelation at all. He had always loved April. Probably always would. She had been his best friend, his person, his wife and most importantly, mother to his children. Jackson had spent so much time being angry with her, that he'd pushed those feelings deep down and in his mind, he'd hoped that they'd never resurface. Seeing her with Nathan today had brought all those feelings rushing back and he'd been unable to control his reaction. Besides, him loving her had never been the problem. The problem was he didn't trust her.

After Samuel died, something changed in April. No, it wasn't the typical going through the stages of grief after losing a child changes either, it was something more. April had been like a pendulum. Emotions swinging back and forth from one extreme to the other. One minute, she was trying to seduce him, pushing him up against some shelves in one of the supply closets, and when he'd dared to mention the fact that they hadn't had sex since their son's death, she abruptly stopped and left him, claiming that he'd ruined the moment. Then he'd caught her scaring a patient into believing that they would die from a minor medical issue. He'd pulled her aside to another supply closet to gage her state of mind when she'd removed her scrub top under the impression that he'd changed his mind and wanted to have sex. At his refusal, she'd gotten angry with him, leaving him alone once again to ponder just what in hell her issue was and why she was behaving like a sex starved crazy person. He'd waited for her after work where they got into a little spat, and she assured him that she was still the woman he'd married, and they'd ended up having sex in his car, even though in his gut, he knew her affirmation was a lie.

Then he'd been told by Arizona that she'd caught April on several occasions staring through the nursey room window at all the healthy babies. Jackson knew that she longed for Samuel, but he'd never confronted her with the fact that he knew about her peculiar routine. That should have been his wakeup call, that he should have gotten her some help. Some counseling to get her through this incredibly difficult period. But before he could contemplate how to bring up the subject, she was talking about going to Jordan to find herself.

He still hadn't fully forgiven Hunt for planting that seed.

She'd admitted to him that she was still grieving and that devoting her talents to helping others, not just patients at the hospital, but those at war, those who really needed aid would be like a salve for her soul. At the time, Jackson had been willing to do just about anything to make April happy, even agreeing with her decision to fly halfway around the world to a dangerous region to help her heal.

She had promised him that she'd only be there for three months. They'd talked on the phone daily about what their day had been like, the patients they'd seen and the current hospital gossip. They talked about how much they missed each other and how they couldn't wait to be together again. It seems they discussed everything but Samuel. Then when three months later came and she wasn't home and swore to him that she needed a little more time, he acquiesced.

Six months later, hopes high that it would be mere days before he not only saw his wife, but got to hold her in his arms, he was dealt another blow. She wasn't coming home. April told him that she was learning all these new techniques and had only scratched the surface of what she considered an invaluable educational experience. That the people here were in dire need and she felt it was her duty to stay. Jackson reminded her that she wasn't a solider and hadn't enlisted so she didn't owe them anything. The thing that bothered him most wasn't the fact that she'd already decided to stay, the hardest pill to swallow was that she'd hadn't even considered him when she made her choice and telling him was just a formality.

Even though they were thousands of miles away, didn't she understand that her choices affected him. Just because he was back at home in the safety of the United States didn't mean he wasn't being torn apart by the war too.

So, when nine months had gone by and there was no April in sight, he wasn't even fazed. He was keeping himself busy with Tatiana, a burn victim that he had been treating. She'd come in after a gruesome fire, her face barely recognizable, and he had promised her that he would help repair the damage and be by her side throughout the entire course of treatments. Besides, he and April rarely talked on the phone anyway and when they did, it was very brief. She never asked how he was coping the entire time they were separated, and he had too much pride to volunteer the information. When she didn't call on the anniversary of Samuels death, it crushed him. In a fit of anger, he'd destroyed the nursery, showing up in the ER later that day to get stitches for a laceration he'd gotten for his troubles. The only person who did remember that day was his mother, and as much as a pain in the ass she was at times, she was by his side.

Did April forget? Was she so busy that he hadn't even warranted a call? Or was it deliberate? How could she not want to speak with him, the only other person on this earth who know the pain she was dealing with. Either way, it was a slight that cut as deep as any knife. When she finally rung him the next day, she apologized, claiming that she couldn't get good reception, but frankly he was over it.

When December 25th came around he'd found himself celebrating at Meredith's along with Alex, Arizona, Maggie and Webber, some cold pizza and heavily spiked eggnog in what could have been considered the saddest holiday party he'd ever been to. He had been pleased when his cell rang, and it was her. Not expecting to hear from even though it was the holidays, he admitted he was thrilled that she'd thought to contact him. But his joy was short lived as they got into another argument about her extended tour of duty. The call was interrupted by the sounds of gunfire and a frantic April telling him that is was insurgents and she had to go. Before he could get any more information, the call was disconnected, the last image he saw was a frozen picture of her on his screen.

This was what he'd always feared would happen during her stretch. That she'd be hurt or worse. He'd tried for over a week to get news, any news on her whereabouts but to no avail. Though the Avery name was powerful and important in the world of medicine, it seemed that Army officials could care less about who he was or who he knew. Frustrated that his inquiries were being ignored, claims of him not having a security clearance so they weren't permitted to share with him any details only resulted in infuriating him further. The only thing that brought him comfort was that knowledge that he'd hadn't been visited by any uniformed servicemembers or whomever their civilian counterparts would be with the news that his wife had been killed in service of her country.

So, when she showed up unexpectedly a year later in the reception area of Grey + Sloan Memorial, he thought he'd been hallucinating. Overwelled that she was indeed alive after having no word of her status for over a week, he scooped her up in his arms, ecstatic that she was home at last and safe in his loving embrace.

When they got home, they'd spent very little time catching up, instead choosing to reacquaint themselves with each other physically. Making love into the wee hours of the morning, it was as if no time had passed between them. It seemed that sensory memory was at work in their case. And oh, how he'd missed his wife. In the first few days of her absence, he'd slept on her side of the bed so that he could inhale the remnants of her scent which had been embedded in the linens. Then, like magic, there she was, in person and he could barely deal with the reality of it all.

The subtle curves he tenderly caressed, the soft skin he lovingly grazed, the sensation of her lips all over his body sent shock waves through him. Her lustful moans, the way she bucked and clawed at him, he knew that she'd missed him too.

After that amazing night, Jackson naturally assumed everything would go back to normal. There'd be a period of adjustment of course, but he could deal with it he surmised. But two months later, the situation appeared stagnate.

Sure, April had changed, it was to be expected, but he was dismayed to learn that the April who left was a complete one-eighty from the one who returned. His April was lighter, more optimistic, a bit awkward and he thought he'd been the only one to discern the difference. Alas the transformation had been so noticeable that even his mother had commented. Gone was the surgeon who was a bit unsure of her skills, comfortable with the notion that she was mediocre at best. She was now glaringly more knowledgeable, outspoken and daring. The evidence apparent when at her insistence, she had a dying patient who was trapped in a vehicle loaded on a flatbed and delivered to the ER in order to save him. Jackson had to admit, it was ballsy and at her quick thinking, ingenuity and the conviction that she displayed when everyone had all but given up on the newly married man and father, leaving him to his fate was astounding. Jackson couldn't have been prouder of the fact she was his wife.

At the end of a day in what would surely go down as a first in the annals of Grey + Sloan history, he went to her congratulate her on her bold decision, only to be blindsided.

She wanted to leave him. Again.

For him, it was the beginning of the end.

She'd given him some bullshit excuse about not feeling like she was finished, and his heart broke all over again. The difference this time was that he was not going to try and talk her out of it. He was going to let her go.

He'd given her a choice. She'd called it an ultimatum, but three weeks later, unconvinced he'd leave the marriage just as he'd declared, she prepared to leave, and had the nerve to suggest that he join her. By then, his mind had been made up and no amount of coercing would change it. He knew what he had to do. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much he loved her, he was going to have to divorce her. He'd been abandoned one too many times in his life, he wasn't going to allow it again.

Yet, stupidly, he'd gone to the airport that morning, not long after her with ticket in hand, only to find the plane already departing. He hadn't bothered to try and book another flight. He never told her that he'd planned on following her and had shown up late. The real question was, did he subconsciously miss the flight on purpose.

When she'd returned after the second round, he'd told her that it was over. Devastated she tried her best to get him to reconsider, and insisted that they could work through this. They'd had a big blowout one evening at the apartment they'd once shared when he told her they needed to consider a divorce. She had been livid, yelling at him, throwing fortune cookies, and they'd both said some hurtful things. She confessed that she had been slowly dying inside and that staying in Jordan had given her a peace that she couldn't find here. She told him that he was only angry at her because he wasn't what she needed to heal. Shattered by her confession, he told her that all he had needed to heal was her.

The honesty of her statement had stung because he knew she was right. She hadn't needed him. She'd gotten though this alone. Angry with each other, but at a loss of what to do, they'd had sex that night. He wasn't sure of the underlying reason at the time, but her declaration had been the nail in the coffin and he supposed he'd wanted a good memory. One last reminder of what it was like to be in love with her.

Surprisingly after that night, there was even a brief period when they'd reconciled. Jackson told her he still wanted her, and they even attended marriage counseling. Hell, he still loved her. That was never the problem. So, they'd ended up going for three weeks before he reached the conclusion that it was a fruitless endeavor.

A few weeks later, he'd had her served with divorce papers.

During the hearing she'd asked him point blank if this was what he really wanted. His silence deafening, he couldn't even bring it within himself to answer, because if he did, he might have told her no. If he had known at the time she was pregnant, it would have changed his decision, but that was water under the bridge.

After the marriage had been dissolved, and even though he tried to convince himself otherwise, his days and nights had been a living hell without her by his side.

So, here they were months later, divorced, having a baby together and him saddled with feelings that he couldn't quantify to her. At least not yet.

He loved her. He'd always love her, but how was he supposed to go about expressing those feelings after everything they'd been through? And would she believe him?

Jackson leaned against the headrest, closed his eyes and let out a long deep sigh. Looking back down at his cell, he scrolled over the qualifications of Barbara Atwell, the owner and lead instructor at Thresholds. He figured while he was waiting he should do a little research on the woman that April has chosen to learn the techniques from. He wanted to make sure she wasn't a quack because Avery's only dealt with the best.

Seeing movement out the corner of his eye, he was relieved to see that April had finally arrived. 7:45pm on the dot. He wasn't surprised, April had always been punctual.

Hurriedly, he exited his vehicle and ran around to the driver side of hers. His hand on the handle he opened the door, and offering her his free hand, helped her out of her car. The look she gave him at his chivalrous gesture didn't escape his view.

"Hi." he greeted her, slightly out of breath.

"Hi." she responded wearily.

Staring at him rather uncomfortably, he saw her peer down and instantaneously understood her reaction. He was still holding her hand. Hastily, he let go.

"You made it." He stated, as if he had been the one to invite her and not the other way around.

"Yes, I'm here."

She stood unmoving and for a moment he thought she was contemplating on whether to bail.

"Uh, Jackson?" she questioned.

"Yeah?" he answered, unable to hide the tremor in his voice.

Motioning, she pointed to the rear of the vehicle. "Could you move over. I need to get my stuff from the back seat."

Jackson clumsily stepped aside, bumping into a car parked next to hers. "Oh, sure. I'm sorry."

What in the hell was wrong with him he thought? Relax. Calm down. It's just April.

Yes, April the woman who has you completely confused about how you are feeling and why you are feeling it and what you should do about it and...

Jackson closed his eyes and took a deep breath. God, he needed to stop, take a second, and refocus. Now was not the time to spin out of control.

As she turned back toward him, items in hand, he reached out.

"Here, let me carry that for you." he offered taking her pillow, yoga mat and a bag he was familiar with.

It was a Michael Kors tote that he'd brought for her a few weeks into the marriage. She'd seen it while they were out shopping at Pacific Place and commented on how pretty it was. He told her that she should buy it, but she rejected the idea saying it was too expensive. He nicely reminded her that she was an Avery now and she could certainly afford it. Still, she poo-pooed the notion and they'd continued on their way. The next day, he came bag and purchased the bag for her. She'd been so grateful for the token that she gave him his own special thanks that night.

"Um, thanks." She stated and walked ahead of him, looking over her shoulder once to watch him curiously. "Class starts is few minutes. We'd better hurry so that we get a good spot."

"Right behind you." he smiled to her in reassurance.

Of course, he was right behind her he thought to himself. Idiot. Pull yourself together Avery, you're acting like an inexperienced teen on a first date. You've seen this woman naked for fucks sake.

Jackson shook his head. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to think about April naked because it only brought other thoughts to mind.

When she'd been pregnant the last time, they'd had sex throughout her pregnancy, only stopping when they'd been giving the devastating news about Samuel. He knew it wasn't exactly appropriate to think about her in a sexual manner right now, but he couldn't help himself. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss getting horizontal with April. Or vertical. Or diagonal. Or any of the dozens of positions they'd tried during those months.

Forcing himself to refocus, Jackson jogged ahead of her and held the front door open. Following her down the hall past several other practices, they stopped in front of suite 81.

Entering the space, they were met with a group of eight other couples, many who'd already settled into position. The room was more than large enough to accommodate them all and was decorated in pastels, with pictures adorning the walls of babies who'd been born of parents who'd taken their classes no doubt and reproductions of paintings by Amanda Grevette. The only reason Jackson recognized the artist was because he was a connoisseur of modern art. Some of his favorite pieces still hung in his old apartment.

Pointing to an open space between two couples, he laid out her mat. Helping her lower herself to the floor, Jackson took up the spot behind her.

It was an odd feeling, being so close to her after all they've been through. Sure, they worked together in the ER and sometimes in the OR, but this was personal. Even when they'd spent that year apart when he was dating Stephanie and she was engaged to Matthew, they had never been able to avoid being in each other's space. He'd stand damn near on top of her when they talked, or those occasions when he'd comfort her, hugging her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. It's like they couldn't not touch. They had their own orbit.

"So are you excited," he asked, figuring some small talk might help keep him composed.

"I have to confess, I am." she smiled brightly. "I always heard of the benefits of Lamaze and I'm all for anything that will make the process easier."

"You have nothing to worry about April. You're gonna do great."

She turned to him with a stunned look on her face.

Jackson knew this was his chance and he couldn't pass it up. "I have all the confidence in the world that you are going to bring a beautiful, healthy baby, safely into the world. You've proven that you are resilient and there's nothing you can't do. If our baby takes on even half of your character traits, then they're going to be remarkable."

Her eyes softened at his speech and he hoped she knew that he was being sincere.

She was about to comment when the instructor entered the room.

"Good evening everyone, my name is Barbara Atwell, and I'd like to welcome you all to Thresholds. Tonight, will be the first of nine sessions in which we will teach you the techniques of Lamaze."

Jackson half listened as Barbara went on about the concept of the class, how long each would last, and what would be expected from the participants. His eyes were fixed on April who was sitting between his legs. She wasn't leaning directly against him; there are still several inches of space separating them, but he can still smell her coconut and strawberry scented shampoo. He'd always loved the way her hair smelled. Often at night, he'd curl up behind her and bury his nose into her auburn locks.

He zoned back in just in time for Barbara to announce that she wanted to start the session by having everyone briefly introduce themselves.

"…so, moms, I'd like you to please get comfortable and sit between your coach's legs."

Starting on their far right, Jackson listened politely as the expectant mother and their support partners game their names, how far along they were, and any other pertinent info they wanted to add. Before he knew it, it was their turn.

"Hi, I'm April and I'm six months along. This is my… my second child and my first introduction at Lamaze."

Jackson heard her voice waiver as she told the other participants that she'd had another child. He wasn't expecting her to share this piece of information, but he was happy that she did and proud because he knew how difficult it must have been.

Jackson figured it was his turn to introduce himself to the group when April spoke again.

"And this is Jackson. He's-he's my friend." she stammered.

Jackson couldn't see her face, but he doubted it mirrored his. He was taken aback by how she classified his relationship with her, but honestly, what else did he expect her to say.

 _Oh, hello everyone. This is my ex-husband, slash baby-daddy, Jackson. We have a contentious relationship but we're putting all that behind us until we pop this one out._

Yeah, that would go over well.

He was sure she was as uncomfortable trying to define their current standing as he was hearing it because he watched as April seemed to fold in on herself. Her shoulders hunched, she brought her knees as close to her body as possible and hugged them.

All Jackson wanted to do was cradle her in his arms in support. Let her know that even though she felt like it, she was not alone in this. And if he had anything to do with, their status would be changing in the near future.

Diving in with the actual educational portion, Barbara went in depth regarding class specifics and told them that this initial session would be about an hour and fifteen minutes. She talked about why people chose Lamaze, doctors versus midwives, stages of labor, when to go to the hospital, medical procedures and on and on. This was all stuff he and April knew already, but they paid rapt attention nonetheless. He wanted to be fully invested in this process and he wanted April to know he was serious about his involvement.

When it came time for them to practice the actual method, April placed the pillow between her and Jackson and moved back to lay flush against him. He placed his hands on her stomach and they both laughed instantly when baby Kepner-Avery started kicking. And that's also when April let him in on a secret.

"You know the baby does that whenever it hears your voice."

"What? Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Yeah. Sometimes I'll be walking down a corridor at work and the baby will know you're there before I do. The first few times it happened, I wondered what all the fuss was about. I'd already eaten, I wasn't tired, and the baby usually doesn't move around that much unless it's first thing in the morning or late at night. That's when I started putting two and two together. There I'd be, rounding a corner or I'd pass you in a patient's room and the baby would start doing flip flops."

Jackson couldn't contain his joy. He bowed his head and addressed her belly. "That's right. You know your daddy, don't you baby."

"Shut up." She said and slapped his hand playfully.

Ignoring her, he teased. "You're gonna be just like your mama. She hung onto my every word. Followed me around like a lost puppy."

"Stop it, Jackson." she laughed with gusto.

Smiling widely, he noticed her dimple pop. He loved that dimple. The left one that was much more pronounced than the right, and all he wanted to do was kiss it.

For the rest of the class, they'd whisper jokingly to each other about Barbara and some of the other patrons. He could tell that the awkwardness he'd sensed in the beginning was gone. Sitting there with her, kidding around, felt like old times and it warmed his insides. He felt like maybe, just maybe this was a good sign, a possibility of them rekindling their romantic relationship.

Well, that was until he almost ruined it.

At the end of the night, they headed back to their cars and Jackson realized that he didn't want the evening to end. He enjoyed being in her company, so he tossed out a suggestion.

"Hey, I know it's a bit after nine, but I was wondering if you wanted to stop and get a coffee. Sit and chat? Tomorrow's Saturday, so you don't have to get up early."

Then added lightheartedly. "Though knowing you, you will anyway."

He smiled brightly at her, his pulse pounding rapidly in anticipation. And when he saw her begin to shake her head, he knew he wasn't going to like her response.

"That's a nice offer, but I've stopped drinking coffee, and besides, I'm kind of tired. It was really busy in the ER and I have a lot of errands to run tomorrow and I want to get started as soon as possible."

No. She was supposed to say yes. This was not going according to plan. April was one the one who didn't want the divorce. Shouldn't she be more receptive to his advances.

Just then another brilliant idea hit him.

"All right, I'll just follow you, make sure you get home okay."

April stopped in her tracks and faced him. "Okay, Jackson. What is going on with you today? Do you not thing I can take care of this baby?"

"What? No, of course not. What would make you say that?"

"Frankly, you've been acting out of character all day. Showing concern for me this morning. Asking to be my coach. Asking if we could go out for coffee. What is it?" she stared at him then he saw the panic in her eyes.

"Oh, my God. Are you evaluating my mental fitness to be a good mother? Are you and your mom going to try and take the baby from me again?"

Tears began to well up in her eyes and Jackson rushed to soothe her. "Oh, no, no, no. April, I would never do that to you again. Never."

"Then, what's going on. Why are you being so nice to me?"

He couldn't believe that she thought he was such an ass that even an attempt to be kind to her was met with skepticism.

As she continued to cry, Jackson wrapped her in his arms. "April, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to trick you. I just thought maybe we could be… friends again."

Yes, he hesitated. He couldn't tell her what he was feeling. Not yet anyway. He knew that he still harbored issues of trust when it came to her, and he was sure that she'd had the same. He couldn't rush this, so he went another angle. That they should start out as friends.

Her tears slowing, she backed up and wiped her face. "I'm sorry. I've just been so emotional lately."

"I understand, I've been a little off my game myself." he admitted.

He placed a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "April, I have no ulterior motives here."

Okay, he did, but a little white lie to buy him some time wasn't so bad.

"I know you don't and I'm sorry for my reaction. Accusing you that way."

"It's all right. Look, I'm gonna follow you home. It's been a long day and I want to make sure you get in safe."

She nodded in agreement and they left for their cars.

Trailing her closely, he made sure he kept her taillights in sight. It's not like he didn't know the way, but subconsciously he wanted her to know he had her back.

Following her into the underground garage, he slid in one of the two parking spaces assigned to their, or rather her unit.

Getting out of his vehicle, he tried to come up with an excuse so that she'd invite him up.

"Hey, do you mind if I use the bathroom. I should of went before we left but…"

Jackson knew he might have been pushing his luck, but he had to try.

"Sure."

Jackson grabbed her bags for her and they headed up the elevator.

When he entered the apartment, he took a quick look around and noted how everything basically looked the same. Throw pillows and all.

He headed for the direction of the powder room when she stopped him.

"Oh, Jackson, don't use that one. I need to clean in there."

"No problem."

On his way down the hall to the main bath, Jackson paused and peeked into the second bedroom. It was formally the room they had set up as the nursery for Samuel and what he assumed would be the new baby's room.

Looking inside, he was surprised to see that everything looked just as he'd left it when he moved out with one exception. Inside was the crib he bought her after they had another one of their arguments. He'd had it delivered the same day she'd had him served with a restraining order. But that was all in the past. He was going to let that go.

What did shock him was that April was six months along and hadn't done anything to the room. April was a planner. He'd figured she'd be well into her nesting faze. He'd pictured a new rocking chair, a changing table, bookshelf. Basically, any furniture she'd need to replace what he had either thrown out or destroyed in a fit of rage on the anniversary of Samuels death.

When he reentered the kitchen, he found himself alone and sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen bar.

She came back in five minutes later, wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants.

"April, what's going on with the baby's room?" he asked.

When he saw the hesitation on her face, he knew he should have been more tactful in his approach.

"Nothing. I haven't had time to get everything I needed, so…"

When she trailed off, he knew something was wrong.

"April. What is it?" he asked concerned.

She let out a long breath. "I just want to make sure that this baby is okay before I decorate the room."

Her head bowed, she spoke in a low voice. "I didn't want to plan ahead in case something happened."

"Oh, April." Jackson stood and took her by the elbow. He should have known that April wasn't as fine as she appeared.

"Here, take a seat. I'll make you some tea."

Jackson refamiliarized himself with the kitchen, putting the kettle on, he opened the cabinet over the fridge and grabbed a package of Girl Scout Thin Mints. This was the same cabinet where April used to hide her favorite snacks to keep them out of his grubby hands. When they were still married, he'd frequently visit the kitchen in the middle of the night and nibble on junk food. He found it endearing that she hadn't bothered to relocate them even though she lived alone now and couldn't reach them without the use of a step ladder. It made him think maybe, deep in the back of her mind, she'd kept them there because one day he'd return.

Once the water boiled, he poured her a cup of Chamomile Vanilla tea, her favorite, and for himself.

Settling in the chair next to her, she grabbed the package of cookies from him, took four out and handed him two.

"April, listen to me because I'm only going to say this once. This baby is fine. You've gone to all your doctor's appointments and you've been given nothing but positive news. April, this baby… our baby is going to be okay."

She'd had her head lowed, so Jackson bent his to meet her eyes. "Okay?"

She raised her head to meet his. "You're right. Okay."

The smile she gave him gave him hope that she trusted his words.

"So, what do you have on your list to do tomorrow?" he asked, in an effort to change the mood so that is wasn't so dark.

April paused, and for a moment he thought she was going to break down again. He understood what she was trying to do. She was gaging what information she could share him with.

"Well, I need to go by the supermarket, then stop by the fabric store because my niece's birthday is coming up and I want to make her a dress, and finally I'm going to stop by the hardware store for some flooring adhesive to fix that tile in the bathroom."

"You mean that still isn't fixed."

The tile had popped up when Jackson was still living here, and he'd had maintenance come and fix it. Well at least he thought it was fixed.

"You know, if you want, I can take care of that for you, or I can have the floor redone." he offered.

"No, don't worry about it. I was just going to lay down a thin layer and push it back on place. Besides, the lease is up in up in a year and I was going to start putting my efforts into finding another place."

"You mean you aren't going to stay here." He asked, astonished.

"Uh, no." she looked at him sheepishly. "You paid the maintenance fees until then and I can't afford that and the rent on this place by myself."

"Oh, that's right."

Jackson had forgotten that he'd paid those fees far in advance. She had a good money, but Jackson had used a small portion of his trust fund for the down payment on the apartment and she didn't have access to his finances anymore.

Feeling guilty, he came up with a compromise. "If you want, I can help you with that. I…"

"No!" she answered, seemingly offended by his offer. "I can take care of myself. I don't need your money."

"I know that April. I didn't mean to suggest that you did."

"Hey…" he started, and he covered her hand with his and she immediately snatched it away like a skittish rabbit.

She must have noticed the hurt look on his face because she apologized. "Sorry. It's just…"

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't have presumed."

She stood abruptly, signaling to him that it was time for him to leave. "Well, it's getting late, I think maybe I should get to bed."

Jackson wasn't ready to go, but he had no right to stay. It wasn't his home anymore.

"Right. I'll see you Monday." Taking a chance, Jackson leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll see myself out."

Surprised, her fingers grazed the spot he'd just brushed his lips against.

Her eyes lingered on his, and If she had planned on saying anything about the kiss, she changed her mind. "Goodnight Jackson."

"Goodnight, April. I'll lock up."

On his way out, Jackson activated the self-locking mechanism on the door, but just as he was leaving, he spied the set of keys he'd left when he moved out and discreetly pocketed them.

An idea came to him and he would need help in executing his plan. So, before he exited the building, he stopped in the lobby to speak with the doorman.

"Good evening, Dr. Avery. We haven't seen you in a while."

"Evening, Randall. Could you do me a favor?"

"Certainly, sir."

"Dr. Kepner will be out of the apartment tomorrow afternoon. Please put in an emergency order for maintenance to replace the floor in the half bath."

"I'll put that in right away, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?"

"No, thank you." Jackson reached for his wallet, pulled out a twenty and placed it in his palm.

Jackson grinned to himself as he made his way to his car. He knew what he needed to do for April to show her that he was one hundred percent involved and he still cared for her. It was something she'd never expect from him and he knew just who he needed to get to help him.

He was going to be better he vowed. He wasn't going to hide how he felt from her. He was going to keep the lines of communication open. He was going to win back her heart.

By the time he was finished, she was going to be April Avery once more.

* * *

 **A/N: Love On The Brain – Rihanna**

 **Also, to guests who comment on my stories, I'm unable to respond directly to you via , so here's a big THANK YOU from me to you.**


	4. Love Can Move Mountains

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… but how can I make that happen?**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 4: Love Can Move Mountains

April went to her bedroom as Jackson made his way out of the apartment. When she heard the front door shut, she sat on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands. She was trying her hardest, but couldn't even begin to fathom what happened only moments ago.

Jackson. Kissed. Her.

It had been a peculiar morning to say the least, but this evening had been a bombshell of events and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to deal with it all.

When she met up with Jackson at Thresholds, she admits she was apprehensive about spending those next few hours with him. It wasn't the same as when they were together at Grey + Sloan Memorial. She learned enough to know how to compartmentalize her feelings while she was at work and managed to stay focused on the patient, their cases and never let her personal opinions of who Jackson was or what he'd done to cloud her judgement. She knew they were at a stressful point in their lives. Divorced, not quite friends anymore, but having a child together. It made for some very confusing thoughts and awkward situations. That was until today.

She still wasn't sure what brought on his actions from this morning. She'd had more time to think about it while she was driving to the center and she reminded herself of his words. That this was him only trying to be more involved, that he wanted to be there from the beginning. He wanted to be a father to their child, she understood that. Regardless if they were a couple or not, she would never deny him the ability to be a parent to the baby. She knew what it was like to grow up with a good father and there was no doubt in her mind that even while Jackson had not experienced what it was like to have a father in his life and his blatant hatred of the man, he would be exemplary at it. Yet, all of that still didn't explain how he behaved this evening.

When it was time for them to meet, she spotted him before he spotted her. She slowed her vehicle to a crawl and watched him as he sat reclined in his vehicle. For a split second, she had the urge to gun it and take off, calling him when she got home and giving him some lame excuse as to why she hadn't shown up. But, that was ridiculous, and she knew it. If Jackson was willing to put the ugliness of their tumultuous relationship behind them so that they could move forward for the sake of their child, then so could she.

So, she took a deep breath, threw her shoulders back and stepped out of her car, confident that she could get through the evening and remain emotionally distance from him. Little did she know, he was going to make that promise as difficult as possible to keep.

The first thing that threw her was how chivalrous he was. Helping her out the car, taking her bag, opening the center's door for her. Totally out of the norm of their recent interactions. That's not to say that Jackson wasn't a gentleman. He was an Avery for God's sake and how many times did she hear him say, _"I'm an Avery, we know these things."_

For as long as she'd known Jackson, he'd been a noble sort of man. He never spoke derogatorily about women, or looked down on other people no matter their circumstances. He believed in a person's right to live how they chose and though he may not agree with some people's ideology, he always listened to their argument and stated his own opinion. He was taught how to be respectful and that's one of the things she loved most about him. Heck, he'd even defended her honor once and beat up Alex when she'd almost given him her virginity. When she came in crying at Owen and Cristina's party, he consoled her. She'd told him what Alex had done and that while in the middle of disrobing, she'd felt unsure, and Alex proceeded to admonish her, leaving her alone and exposed. Literally and figuratively. What could she say, his mother had raised him right.

Even when they'd started having sex without benefit of defining what they were, he was kind to her. And when they broke up, sure there were some tense moments and they'd each taken pot shots at one another, but the underlying basis of their connection was that they were friends. He'd still comfort her when she was down, and she'd still prop him up when he needed encouragement.

The actual time spent together during their marriage was a whirlwind. When times were good, they were very good, but when they were bad, well, thankfully there weren't many. From the moment they'd eloped, they'd been tested, not only inside the marriage; trust funds, decisions on child rearing, religion. But outside as well; Catherine, Stephanie, Matthew. And worst of all finding out that their child had Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type 2, which lead to Samuels eventual death. They'd managed to compromise on many of their issues and come to mend their relationships with Stephanie and his mother. Matthew was the only wound left open and he'd quit his job before she'd had the chance to make amends.

After the loss of Samuel, there were a culmination of events that led to their eventual divorce. During the period between her return from Jordan and up until a few months ago, she was forced to deal with a Jackson she didn't recognize. He was mean, and spiteful, taking aim at her vulnerabilities which almost brought her to the brink.

She'd never spoken with anyone about how she'd been dealing with the separation, divorce and pregnancy. Sure, she talked to her parents, a few friends like Nathan and Arizona; her most trusted confidant at the time, but she'd never been able to fully express how she felt. It was embarrassing and heartbreaking all at once.

He wanted the divorce, she was reason it happened. She knew that then and she knows it now. Samuel's death destroyed them, her especially, and she needed time away from Seattle, from her friends, family, her job and specifically, Jackson. It wasn't that she didn't love him, she loved him with her heart and soul, but there was something she could never tell him because she knew it would kill him.

April wasn't lying when she said she went to Jordan to find herself again. To help release the pain of the memory of Samuel and by helping others she felt she could do that. So, every day for a year, she worked tirelessly to save lives and every night she would pray to God to protect her loved ones and ask God to take care of Samuel until they met again. Her last supplication was for Jackson. Even though he didn't believe, she wanted God to fill him with the light, to let him know somehow that she was thinking of him, that she loved him and that she wanted to be there with him, but it wasn't time for her to come home.

She'd tried to express this to him on the instances when they spoke, which by the end had become few and far between. The real problem was that she couldn't look at him without seeing Samuel and it crushed her every time. And so, though there were many causes which propelled her into making her decision, the main one was that her husband was an unfortunate stimulus.

April refused to make him aware of this truth. Her truth. No matter how many times he told her she was selfish. He'd already been a mess, trying to hold it together for her sake, but she could see through the cracks and he was not doing well. She would not make him feel worse so that she could make herself feel better.

After she'd arrived back home the first time from Jordon, she felt she'd put all her demons behind her. She tried to acclimate to daily life as she knew it. Getting up, going to work, coming home to have dinner and spend quality time with Jackson, but if felt… off. Then it happened. Meredith, Amelia, Maggie and she were called to a scene where a tunnel collapsed. They were presented with a victim who was trapped in his vehicle and it was deemed impossible for them to treat him at the scene. They couldn't extract him, or death was inevitable, so left on sight to manage the situation, April devised a plan to save the man and that was what she did.

She'd felt invigorated after the experience and she knew that there was something she still needed to accomplish. So, she told Jackson she wanted to go back to Jordon. She told him she wasn't finished. That she'd only be gone a few months this time. She didn't know why the urge to return was so strong, but it was a calling. It had to be done. Initially, she thought he was on board as he suggested that maybe she should return. But when he told her he wouldn't be waiting for her when she got back, she couldn't believe her ears. Of course, he would wait for her. He didn't really mean it. He was her husband. They were in this together. For better or worse. So, against her better judgement and the tenacity of his words, she left again only to return to her fate already sealed.

She knew she was culpable, at least enough to take most of the blame with their situation, but the fact that he never really wanted to fight for them, devastated her. Because of her actions, in the end, the marriage was doomed, and she bore the pain that they would never be what they were. So, they would raise the baby together, and that was that. But, tonight… tonight threw her for a loop. April was witness to a side of Jackson that many failed to see and that was the Jackson that she would always love.

When they'd entered the classroom, he'd taken her hand again to help ease her down to the floor when suddenly, she felt those old familiar sparks shoot throughout her system. Unlike when he'd taken her hand at the car, this time, he'd rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand in a soothing motion. She'd brushed it off as a subconscious action, besides he didn't appear to have been aware he'd done it. Then he'd asked her if she was excited about taking the class in which she replied she was and quite possibly, she involuntarily signaled to him that she was nervous. He told her she had nothing to worry about and that she'd do great. To say she was baffled was an understatement and the reaction must have shown on her face. He then went on to tell her that he believed in her and her ability to carry this baby safely. If she wasn't mistaken, he'd even told her that she was remarkable. She couldn't really remember, she was in too much shock from his sentiments. She must confess, she was overwhelmed by his praise, because Jackson didn't talk to her like that. He didn't complement her out of the blue. At least not anymore.

She chose to focus on learning everything she could about the class and not worry about his motives. She wanted to get through this evening as quickly as possible. Maybe if they got this first one over with, the anxiety and awkwardness would dissipate, and the remainder of the sessions would be a breeze.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Barbara, the Lamaze instructor started the class and began giving them lots of pertinent information, but April could barely concentrate. Her thoughts kept wondering to the man sitting behind her.

Though she wasn't lying in his arms yet, the position they would need to maintain for most of class caused her to panic as she could already feel the waves of energy coming off him.

When he arrived at her vehicle, she took note of how he was dressed. Well, she always did. That man could wear a pair of jeans. His ass was perfection.

He was in the usual attire he wore outside of work; denim, a pullover, and tonight, his matte satin bomber jacket. Jackson didn't wear anything cheap and she figured his outfit must have cost him at least $800 and that wasn't including his beloved Nikes that he wore with damn near everything.

Arching her back a tad, April closed her eyes and took a whiff. Oh God, he was wearing her favorite cologne; Tom Ford Noir Anthracite. It was a little woody, a little spicy and it always did something to her carnal nature. It wasn't his only fragrance, but he knew it was the one she preferred. Which begs to ask why he chose to wear it. Did he do it on purpose? If so, what was he up to?

April forced herself to concentrate on Barbara's words and fortunately, she did. The time had come to introduce themselves and she dreaded it. She told them her name, her expected due date and that this was her second child. She had a feeling they would ask if they'd been pregnant before; it wasn't uncommon. She could have easily said no and that would have saved her from having to answer any uncomfortable questions that may come later, but she couldn't do that. Not to Samuel. Not to his memory.

April knew that it was also time for Jackson to introduce himself and she feared what may come out of his mouth. She didn't want him to introduce her as his ex-wife, she felt like enough of a failure to have to bare that title out loud. She didn't want a room full of strangers judging her, creating some intricate story about the handsome man and the pretty woman and what could have possibly gone wrong with their marriage. So, she answered for him and said that they were friends.

She couldn't see Jackson's reaction, but she was sure it wasn't a pleasant one. Really, what did he expect her to say anyway? It was the truth, wasn't it? At least he said he wanted them to be friends. Besides, it was easier this way.

When it was time practice the actual Lamaze technique, April leaned against the pillow and consequently him and got comfortable. She breathed deeply in and out of her nose, trying to maintain a cool outer exterior, but inside, she was a bundle of nerves. Then Jackson placed his hands on her belly and the baby kicked. It was the catalyst that alleviated the tension between them. She even shared some information with Jackson that he was unaware of. It seemed as if baby was already a huge fan of its daddy. She shouldn't have been surprised, who wasn't one once they got to know him.

They managed to remain pleasant to each other throughout the rest of the class. Entertaining themselves by making cracks about some of the other clientele. Nothing mean, just things they'd observed. She was really having fun and for the first time that night, she was sure of her decision to choose Jackson to be her coach. Being with him in this capacity, felt like old times. Those nine years they spent as friends and the few they spent in their happy marriage bubble.

When it was time to leave, Jackson invited her out for coffee, but she declined. She didn't mean any offense and she would have loved to spend more time with him, but hanging out with him wasn't good for her. She couldn't allow herself to fall under his spell. He didn't have romantic feelings for her and she couldn't afford to become attached and get hurt again. Not now. She had to place all her energy into caring for and loving this baby. But when he suggested he follow her home, a red flag went up. She demanded to know what was going on. Why was he being so nice to her after months of treating her as if she'd never mattered to him. She even accused him of trying to take the baby again. He assured her that wasn't the case and held her as she cried.

Relived that her assumptions where incorrect and frankly feeling a little foolish for thinking he would try to trick her, she didn't object when once again he said he was going to follow her home to make sure she got there safely. It wasn't a big deal and she was touched that he even cared.

Once they reached the building, he asked if he could use the bathroom. Weird she thought. It wasn't as if he lived that far away, he certainly could have made it home. Besides, Jackson had a bladder like a water tank. On their thirteen-hour trip to Lake Tahoe, he'd only needed to use the restroom once, and that was because she'd asked him to stop. One of the three times she did. But, she brushed any suspicions aside and allowed him up.

Directing him to the hall bath, he came back and questioned her as to why the baby's room was not completed. She confessed she was afraid for the baby's health, something she'd never told anyone, and he reassured her. He was being so supportive tonight. Easing her fears about the pregnancy. Making her tea. It was getting a little creepy.

Then he'd made her angry. They had gotten to talking about her Saturday plans and the bathroom tile that needed repairing, his offer to fix it himself and then he'd had the audacity to propose he help her pay the fees on the apartment after the lease was up. Frankly, she'd had enough of this crazy day. Standing to let him know it was time to leave, he leaned in and kissed her.

April couldn't control her reaction. She reached out to her cheek and touched the spot that he'd pressed his lips against. Her fingers slowly curling in as she pulled it away. All she could do was stare and she wanted to say something, anything, but she could feel her skin begin to flush and so, she quickly bid him goodnight.

She thought profoundly about that kiss. It wasn't hesitant, he wanted to do. And it wasn't a quick, goodbye kiss. She felt him linger a bit. That kiss, was a kiss of a man who was sure.

At this point, she was just frustrated and needed to lie down. She pulled back the covers and crawled to the middle of the bed. Since she'd been sleeping alone, she found that she gravitated toward the center more often than not as she would find herself in that position when she woke in the mornings. She knew the reason why. She missed having Jackson in bed with her. He always slept on the right side, and would pull her body to his, his arm wrapped tightly around her torso. Sure, they'd spent a considerable amount of time apart at this point, but the time they did spend together did not dull her memory as to what it felt like to be held in his loving embrace. Hugging her pillow tight, she prayed for guidance and fell asleep dreaming of days long past.

April woke up at nine the next morning feeling refreshed. She had a busy day ahead of her, and wanted to get an early start, so she jumped in the shower, shampooed and conditioned her hair, dried off and tried to find something decent to wear.

She noticed that during this stage in her pregnancy, she was much larger than she was when she carried Samuel. It wasn't all that unusual for women to show a month earlier during subsequent pregnancies. It all had to do with the uterus not shrinking down to its previous size and a whole bunch of other technical jargon. All she knew was that she had to break out bigger maternity clothes.

Making her way to the kitchen, she poured out the unfinished tea that was still on the table and placed the cookies in a lower cabinet. She grabbed a yogurt and banana for breakfast and stuck a chocolate coconut date bar in her bag for a mid-morning snack.

After the events of last night, she planned to put Jackson Avery out of her head for the next forty-eight hours, give or take and enjoy her day. She had already made her list of errands and added a few more to her itinerary. She decided to do something just for herself this today, so she called her manicurist and made an appointment at the Gene Juarez Salon downtown.

Making the salon her first stop, she prepared for a morning of relaxation. She had scheduled a pedicure, eyebrow wax and maternity massage. Normally, she wouldn't frequent a business so upscale, the local nail tech in the strip mall was good enough for her, but when a few of the nurses had chipped in and gave her a gift card, she had fallen in love with the establishment.

April got along great with the nurses and since her pregnancy, she'd noticed that they'd taken it upon themselves to do a lot of the leg work she would normally take care of in the ER. Restocking supplies, updating patient files, and anything else mundane so that their favorite attending; as told by them, wouldn't put too much strain on her body. So, she spent two hours in the spa, being pampered before she reluctantly left for the next place on her checklist, making a mental note to thank them once again for such a thoughtful gift. She knew that they didn't pity her, but with all the drama she'd been through over the years, she believed it was more of an acknowledgement of her complimentary treatment of them.

Her second stop was to Stitches to pick up fabric for a dress she was making for her niece. Libby's daughter Maya was turning three years old and since April wasn't going to be able to make the party, she'd offered to make something special for her to wear. She found a cotton cloth with ladybugs that she thought would look adorable on her and smiled to herself thinking of her own baby. She couldn't wait to make cute little outfits, whether it was for a boy or a girl. She was so thankful at that moment for her grandmother for teaching her how to sew. It was a hobby that destress her and this weekend she needed all the peace she could get.

Her next destination was the hardware store. She could have easily gone to Lowes or Home Depot, but she believed in supporting local businesses, so she popped into Pacific Supply and purchased all the equipment she needed to repair the bathroom tile; Thinset, grout and adhesive remover. She already had a small tool kit at home with safety glasses, trowel, rubber mallet and level. She'd learned a lot on the farm, and making minor repairs was one of them.

By the time she entered Whole Foods, she could feel her energy wane. She only had a few items to pick up. Some chicken breast, beans, Lära Bars and whole grain pasta. Items packed with vitamins and nutrients needed to keep her and baby healthy and enough to get her through the week. But, for whatever reason, she was becoming lethargic. She'd intended on going by A Pea in the Pod to pick up some leggings, Growing Washington for her farm to table fruits and vegetables and finally Left Banks Book Collective to pick up a used copy of Little Women but her body was not cooperating.

Cutting her afternoon short, she left for home to soak her swollen feet only to find her residence already occupied.

When she entered the apartment, she thought she could hear light tapping coming from across the room. Seeing that the half-bath door was partially open, she crept over to the kitchen cabinet and took out a cast iron skillet. It was the quickest thing she could think to use as a weapon because she certainly didn't think she could stab anybody.

Tiptoeing towards the noise, pan raised over her head, she let out a bellowing screech before she kicked the door open with her foot.

"Oh my God!" the unidentified man yelled as he held a hand to his heart.

April immediately relaxed when she realized it was only a maintenance worker.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, the hairs on her arm still raised.

Putting down his tools, he stood to address her, "I'm sorry. I thought I'd be finished by the time you returned."

"But why are you here? I didn't put in a request for repair." she insisted.

"Oh, a work order was put in by your husband, Mrs. Avery."

April's face scrunched up involuntarily and answered through gritted teeth. "My name is Dr. Kepner."

"Uh, sorry, Dr. Kepner. I'm Oscar, by the way." he offered his hand, an uneasy look on his face. He probably thought she was nuts.

"I'm almost done here, if you'd like me to finish."

April rubbed a hand across her brow. "Yes, of course. Please do, and I'm sorry for almost scaring you to death. I didn't expect…" she waved her hand in his general direction, "this."

"No worries. I'll be out of your hair in a minute." he stated as he turned to finish the job.

"Take your time. Besides, I have a phone call to make."

April went to place the pan on the counter, then hastily put her perishables away. Stomping her way back towards the bedroom, she shut the door behind her, pulled her cell phone out of her purse and dialed a number she knew all too well.

Seven rings in, she was about to leave the worlds angriest voicemail when Jackson finally picked up.

"Hello." he answered, sounding winded.

Jackson was lucky he couldn't see her face she thought. Lips pursed, eyes cold, left hand clinched into a tiny fist, she was beyond livid and she was going to make sure he knew it.

"It's me." she stated.

"Yes, I know," he chuckled, "sorry for taking so long to pick up. I was working out."

"Great." she said tersely. Frankly, she could really care less at this point.

"Well guess what I walked in on when I got home?" she asked, knowing he'd already knew the answer, but she didn't give him the chance to respond.

She was furious, and she wasn't going to let him try and sweet talk his way out of this one.

"Just who do you think you are? Where do you get off having someone come into _my_ home and fix a problem I explicitly told you I was going to take care of?" she screamed.

"April," he started, but she wasn't going to let him interrupt.

"I told you I didn't want your help and you went behind my back and did it anyway? What, you didn't think I'd notice? You didn't think I could do it? You thought I'd be so charmed by your actions, I would let your unwanted interference slide?" her tone beyond upset, she was incensed.

"But, I..." he started.

"Quiet, I'm not finished." she yelled.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you had no right. You can't make decisions for me anymore Jackson," she was starting to become overheated, so she took a calming breath, "you lost that privilege when you asked for the divorce."

"April, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep. Will you please let me explain?" he begged.

"Jackson, I just don't want to hear it right now. I'm tired and… I-I'll see you Monday." she hung up without waiting for his reply.

April leaned back against the closed door, tears streaming down her face. This was not what she wanted. She had planned on a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend. No thoughts of work, responsibilities and especially no Jackson Avery.

After wiping away her tears, she composed herself before stepping out to put the rest of her packages away. Oscar completed the repair thirty minutes later, she thanked him, then headed to the bathroom to take a long invigorating soak.

Eyes closed, she reclined in the tub as the scent of amber and juniper berry surrounded her and tried to rationalize what prompted Jackson to do what he did. Yesterday, he had expressed concern for her wellbeing. Maybe this was just an extension of that. Besides, she shouldn't have gone off on him without hearing him out. It was just that he was, ugh, so infuriating sometimes. She'd always been independent and prided herself of that fact. He knew that. She didn't need some man to tell her what to do and how to get it done. Sure, she and Jackson had been married, but that had been a partnership. He'd never blatantly tried to dominate her. Well, maybe in the bedroom, but she was okay with that.

Lowering her body further into the tub, April blew bubbles in the water like a motorboat. She was spending too much time thinking about Jackson when she specifically meant for the opposite to happen this weekend. Taking her loofah, she poured a generous amount of body wash onto the sponge and began cleansing herself. The waters warmth, the aroma of the bubble bath and silkiness of the soaps moisturizers helped lull her into a serene state. So, the hell with it she thought. She was going to force herself to unwind. She was just going to let all the issues she was having with Jackson go for now. And that's exactly what she did.

By the time Monday morning rolled around, her annoyance with Jackson had faded. She strolled into the Attending's locker room to change into her scrubs when Nathan came in.

"Hey, Keps. How was your weekend?" he asked, with his distinctive accent. It always amused her for some reason.

"Morning, Nathan. It was good, thanks. Yours?" she replied.

"You know. Nothing special." he paused before continuing, and April didn't have to guess what he wanted to know.

"So, how did class go with Avery?" he pried.

April closed her locker and turned so he could see her expression. Nathan was one of those people she couldn't lie to. Well, not that she couldn't, she just chose not to make a habit of lying if possible.

"It was… interesting." she honestly could not think of a better word to describe it.

Nathan took a seat along one of the benches, "How so? I mean, if I may inquire that is?" he grinned at her and she smiled in return at his good-natured temperament.

"Surprisingly well actually. It was just everything else that was a bust." she admitted.

"What happened?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"He was… he was nice to me." she said, still unable to believe it.

Nathan looked at her with a blank expression, "And he wasn't supposed to be nice to you?"

"No, it's not that. It's… it's hard to explain."

April took a seat next to him and sat sideways, "It wasn't so much that he was being nice, it was that he was acting like he cared. Once we decided to act civil for the baby's sake, he's been polite, but he's kept his distance. Friday night, he joked around with me, showed concern for me. Nathan, he followed me home to make sure I got there in one piece. It was good. Then some other stuff happened that I'd rather not get into, that I'm trying to figure out, but I'm okay."

"You're sure?" he insisted, brow raised high.

April intentionally left some stuff out during her chat with Nathan. She didn't mind talking with him, but some things she needed to keep to herself. At least until she figured them out.

"Yes, thank you." she assured him.

Nathan took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm here if you need me. Remember that."

April sat for a minute after he left, ignoring the other attending's who came and went.

After she scolded Jackson, thankfully he hadn't tried to call her back the rest of the weekend and she appreciated his respecting her need for solitude. She knew though she couldn't hide from him until their next class on Friday. Their paths would inevitably cross at some point during the week and she wanted to be emotionally prepared to deal with him.

She just needed a little time. She should have known she wasn't going to get it.

As she made her way across the catwalk toward the lab to check on her patients' blood work, she heard someone calling her name.

"April!"

"Crap." she said under her breath and reluctantly spun on her heels to greet her pursuer.

Jackson came sprinting up to her, two to-go cups in hand.

Beaming, he greeted her, "Good morning."

Obviously, he was going to pretend that she hadn't been mad at him for what he did this weekend she thought.

"Morning." she answered shortly and continued to her destination when he stuck his hand out so that the drink and his arm blocked her route.

"I told you, I'm off caffeine." she said curtly as she edged her way around him.

He walked quickly to catch up with her and offered the container again. "It's not coffee, it's tea."

April huffed impatiently, but took the cup anyway. "Thanks, Jackson."

Jackson stood in front of her and she was sure he had something he wanted to say but he didn't seem to be able to speak.

April looked at him with hooded eyes and though she wasn't sure why, she chose to ease his discomfort.

"Look Jackson, I'm really not in the mood to talk about what happened this Saturday. Not now anyway."

She hoped that he would take the hint and walk away. She didn't want to get into a shouting match in the middle of the hospital. They'd been there. Done that.

He swallowed hard as he looked at her sheepishly. "April, I understand you're still pissed at me and I don't want to make the situation worse. I just need to tell you that I am sorry. I never meant to disregard what you wanted or go against your wishes. Sincerely, I only wanted to help."

April searched his eyes for some hint that he was being insincere, but what she found astonished her.

He was looking at her. No, that wasn't quite right. He saw her. His body language, his facial expression, most importantly, his eyes. They were open and dare she say vulnerable. The last time she'd seen that exact look, he'd stood up at her wedding to Matthew and asked her if she loved him too.

Something in her softened. She didn't want to be angry with him. He was trying, so she needed to try too.

"Jackson, you don't have to apologize anymore. It's okay. I know your intentions were honorable."

He placed his hand on her forearm and stroked it gently. "I appreciate that, April."

April thought it quite brazen of him as her eyes wondered briefly to the spot where his hand lay before she leisurely backed away.

"Well, I really need to get going. I have some results I need to pick before rounds start."

"Of course, I won't hold you up, but I was wondering," he started, pausing dramatically, "would you like to meet me for lunch today?"

"Why?" she asked a little too hastily. She didn't mean to sound so suspicious.

"Why? Uh, because I'd like to spend some time with you. Because you need to eat. Because… just because." he tried explaining, but in her opinion, he wasn't doing a very good job.

Her mouth parted, she waited for words to come out as if she were a separate entity. If she said no, what would that mean for them. He was making an effort, why couldn't she. If she said yes, she didn't want to get her hopes as to what that could imply.

Squinting at him, she calculated the pros and cons quickly in her head and despite what common sense was telling her, she accepted. "Okay."

"Great, I'll text you around… twelve?" he walked backward as he continued making plans, "If you get there before I do, grab us a table, huh? I'll catch you later."

April scratched at her forehead and watched as he waved goodbye, then trotted off toward the main lobby.

She could own up to it. She was honestly confused.

He wanted to spend time, with her. Not in Lamaze. Not work related. One on one. Together.

With her plans set for later, she set her mind back on the task at hand. After she'd received and gone over the blood results of a patient who she was afraid might have sepsis, and followed up on a lung transplant recipient, the remainder of her morning was spent in the ER.

By the time lunch rolled around, she was starving, and little baby Kepner-Avery gave her several sharp kicks letting her know that they were hungry too.

Jackson shot her a text five minutes to twelve letting her know he'd already secured a table and to meet him by the beverage and condiment station.

Upon entering the room, she immediately located him in a semi-secluded area. It wasn't that there weren't other tables around, it was that it was nearer to the back of the eatery than the front where their group would normally sit.

April said hello to a few co-workers on her way over and was pleased to see that he'd already gotten her the Citrus Salmon with Couscous and Green Beans from the Mindful Meals menu.

"Oh, bless you. Baby and I are _so_ hungry." she said in gratitude as she took the seat opposite him and sunk her teeth in, without delay.

"You're welcome." he replied, his own food a quarter of the way finished.

"So, how is our baby today. Giving you any trouble?" he asked, motioning his head in her direction of her stomach.

She rubbed her belly affectionally but didn't acknowledge the fact that he called it _our_ baby, it was. "This one, never."

"So, when's your next doctor's appointment?" he inquired.

"I have one in two weeks. I'll be sure to let you know the outcome," she stated then looked up shyly, "or, you could come along if you like."

She watched as his eyes lit up at her offer.

"Yeah. I'd really like that. Just let me know when and where. I'd be happy to be there… with you." he said, mouthing the word 'thank you' almost to himself.

They observed one another intently as they continued to eat their food and April noticed a definite shift in the atmosphere.

She would look at him then avert her eyes. He would look at her then smile sweetly. She had an overall sense of calm while in his presence and that hadn't occurred in a long time. She used to always be on edge, waiting for the next shoe to drop. Now, she noticed, all she felt was at ease. There were, no awkwardness. This… this was nice.

"Working on anything thing interesting today?" she asked breaking the stillness that surrounded them.

"Yes, actually." he began.

April listened as he told her about a new patient who he was getting prepared to perform a penile prosthesis procedure on and how he was thinking about calling his mother for a consult. Catherine was one of the best Urologists in the country, and he said even though his mother drove him nuts most of the time, he couldn't deny her talent and experience were hard to match.

As he spoke, April noted how animated he was. Waving his hands to emphasis certain points. How his tongue would dart out of him mouth and wet his lips because he was talking so excitedly about a topic he loved. And his eyes. Those eyes that were indeed the window to his soul.

April was mesmerized by his eyes. She always had been. During those years when they were only friends, she tried at several points to determine what color they were. Sometimes they were blue and sometimes they were green. It would all depend on the mood he was in or the clothes he wore or if they were standing in shadow or light. At times they would be as calm as the sea or as torrential as a thunder storm. She spent many years trying to determine their exact hue. Trying finally to resolve the mystery the first time they made love.

Okay, maybe make love wasn't the exact term, but in hindsight, that's exactly what it was. That night she remembered gazing into his eyes as he lay on top of her, the moonlight brightening the room slightly, they appeared to be a piercing icy-blue. When they'd rolled and tossed and turned and she'd ended up on top of him, she noticed they were brilliant emerald-green.

Whatever they were, they burned her with an intensity she could barely handle. She could never come up with a definitive answer. Over their next few years she'd stare into those blue-green orbs too many times to count, and she realized then, it didn't matter the color, because all she saw was love reflected at her.

April tuned back in as they wound up the remainder of their lunch hour when he suddenly stopped short.

Following the path of his eyes, she saw Alex in her peripheral and he was making a beeline for their table. She turned to face Jackson again and almost choked on her food at his actions that weren't hard to interpret.

She didn't know if she was amused by his audacity, appalled at how rude it seemed or just in shock as Jackson shook his head imperceptibly and discreetly used his foot to pull the third chair closer to the table in a sign that Alex was not welcome and should interrupt.

It seemed Jackson didn't want to share her with anyone right now and she'd be lying if she didn't say she melted a bit at the gesture. Secretly, she was glad that he'd prevented Alex from joining them. She was enjoying the ease of their conversation and dare she say, the hour spent alone with him as well.

Alex apparently got the hint as he made a sharp right turn towards another table and April began to blush furiously. She tried to play it off by putting her elbows on the table and clasping her cheeks in her hands.

"Don't do that." he said as he reached out and held her wrist.

"I like it when you blush. It's cute." he confessed to her as he moved his hand and stroked her cheek with one finger.

Well, you could have knocked her over with a feather. Her mouth parted, she took her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed furiously for lack of anything to say.

"Um, A-April?" he started.

She cleared her now dry throat, "Yeah?"

"I-I was uh," he stuttered, "I was, wondering if you'd like to come over to the house for dinner tomorrow."

A bit of her drink dribbled out of her mouth. "What?"

"I, uh thought you'd like to see the house. Take a look at where I'd planned on putting the nursery. I could cook something or maybe we could order in?"

April swore she could see a bead of sweat fall from his brow as he waited for her answer.

Eyes wide, she considered. "Um."

"I know we have class on Friday, but I thought we could get together before then. Maybe talk more in depth about a few things."

"Things?" she repeated as if she'd never heard the word before.

Without warning he reached out and clasped her hand. "Please? I really need to say some things to you and I'd prefer we have some privacy."

Dumbfounded, she answered without further thought. "Sure. I mean, yes, I'll be there."

He let out a breath he was holding. "Great."

He looked down at his watch. "Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you later though and we can make arraignments for tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay." she answered and watched him as he walked away.

Slouching against the table as best she could with her protruding belly in the way, she wondered if she was making the right choice.

It appeared that this wasn't all about the baby anymore. But, she thought to herself, why now? Was it because she was pregnant? Did he think she needed to be taken care of? Did he feel guilty for his past treatment of her and was now obligated to make her happy at least until the baby was born? Exactly what in the hell was going with him? What was going on between them?

April couldn't sit there and ponder this situation any longer. She had work to do.

Getting up she disposed her trash and deposited her tray on top of the trash receptacle.

She didn't know what type of evening Jackson had in mind, but she wasn't going to go unprepared.

She would find out all the answers to her questions tomorrow night.

* * *

 **A/N: Song title – Love Can Move Mountains by Celine Dion**

 **I made the choice for April to have hidden talents never mentioned on the show: sewing & home repair. I also cultivated many ideals that she would believe in: shopping locally for organic farm to table ingredients, frequenting small businesses & buying used books. That's just the way I see her. **

**I am also including a list of the real businesses I included in my story. I am not from Seattle nor have I ever visited. This is not an endorsement of any of these businesses. I just thought they seemed cool.**

 **Gene Juarez Salons & Spas**

 **Thresholds**

 **Whole Foods**

 **Growing Washington**

 **Pacific Supply**

 **A Pea in the Pod**

 **Left Banks Book Collective**


	5. Lovefool

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 5: Lovefool

 **JACKSON**

Jackson busied himself in the kitchen, making sure he had everything he needed to assure the evening he'd planned with April was a success. To say he was excited was an understatement. He was overjoyed. He'd never thought in a million years that she'd agree to have dinner with him. He'd never believed that he would ask. Sure, her acceptance was under the guise of having her see the house and where he planned to make the baby's nursery, but the result was the same.

He had to admit though, he's pulled that suggestion out of his ass. When he was sitting with April at lunch, looking at the woman he still loved, he couldn't help all the thoughts that ran through his mind.

What if he'd gone to Jordan with her that second time? What if he'd stuck with marriage counseling instead of giving up? What if at the lawyer's office, he'd answered her when she asked if he really wanted this? What if when he found out she was pregnant, he hadn't acted like a fucking idiot and instead took the opportunity to mend their relationship?

What if? What if? What if?

All he knew was that he didn't want to be apart from her anymore, and once he realized this was the course of action he wanted to take, he pulled out all the stops. But he had to remember to be careful not to come on too strong. April had the tendency to be a… flight risk, for lack of a better term and one misstep could send her careening out the door.

Jackson put the dinnerware on the sideboard, taking care to arrange the green, lavender, and white Phalaenopsis orchids in the middle of the table. He'd originally planned on eating in the dining room, but he thought maybe that would be too formal and he wanted April to feel at ease. He then placed the brown paper bag on the counter behind them, checked the food in the oven to make sure that the warming feature was set.

Checking his watch, he noted that she should be here in about thirty minutes. He had offered to pick her up, but she declined, saying that she'd probably leave directly from work and would just meet up with him later.

Proceeding to his bedroom, he gave one final look around. He straightened the pillows on his bed and tucked in the sheets. It wasn't that he expected anything to happen between them. Besides, it would be way to soon and he wasn't going to be that forward with her. He'd be lying though if he hadn't thought about bending her over, placing her on all fours, taking her from behind and pounding into her so hard until… stop. He needed to stop. He couldn't very well meet her at the door with a raging hard-on. That would be highly inappropriate.

Jackson double checked his appearance in the mirror, pleased with the outcome. He was dressed casually in a blue Armani button-down, indigo raw denim jeans and his brand-new Nike Metcon sneakers.

Yes, another pair. This was one addiction he was not willing to give up.

Nervously he wrung his hands, the anticipation inside of him building. He knew the importance of this date with April. It could make or break them. It would determine where they were going with their relationship and he was adamant about one thing.

Tonight, he was going to tell April, point-blank he wanted her back.

 **APRIL**

April hurriedly slipped on her ballet flats and grabbed her purse. She was supposed to meet Jackson at his house in approximately twenty minutes and she hated being late. She had already changed her clothes three times, unsure of what would be appropriate for their… dinner? Yes, dinner because it surely wasn't a date.

She had initially put on a woven navy-blue dress, but it seemed too dowdy. Next, she donned a knitted black dress with collar, but decided against that because it seemed too business-like. It was more suitable for something to wear to work. At last picking the dress she was wearing now, a geo print black and white wrap dress, finally satisfied with her choice, she headed out the door.

She had taken extra care with her hair and makeup, arranging her tresses so that they cascaded over her back and shoulders in big bouncy, loose curls. As for her face, she'd never been one to be made up heavily, the most daring of colors she'd used was red and that was on her lips. But tonight, she'd gone for a more ethereal look, using amber on her lids, a blended white in the inside corners of her eyes, a pale pink blush on her cheeks and a pop of carmine pink on her lips by Mac, ominously called D for Danger. She tried to convince herself that she hadn't made herself look so inviting for Jackson's benefit but for hers. She didn't get the chance to go out that much lately and she wanted to feel pretty.

Sure, that was it. It was all for her benefit.

She had to confess, she had dawdled a bit due to the fact she was apprehensive about being all alone with him. It wasn't like being at work. She had plenty of distractions to help her avoid finding herself isolated with him. And no, the lunch they had didn't count. They had been surrounded by dozens of people, even if she felt like they were the only two in the world. When they were at Lamaze, there were other couples and Barbara to focus on, but this, this was risky. She still didn't know what Jackson had up his sleeve; maybe nothing. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but she vowed to keep her guard up.

She would never be blind-sided by Jackson again.

Making her way to her car, she hoped in and made the short jaunt to his house. She didn't think it anything that Jackson's house was a mere fifteen minutes from hers. He'd purchased his home long before she knew they were pregnant. More than likely, it was the distance from the hospital that factored in his decision.

It was a balmy evening and even though she had on a light overcoat, she drove with the window down. The welcome breeze cooling her as she became flusher the closer she got to her destination as she was anxious as to what this evening would bring. She knew he said he wanted to _talk_ about things, but what did he really mean by that? She didn't even want to begin to speculate. Lately, she never knew which Jackson she'd be dealing with. Angry Avery or cool and collected Gunther. Distant Derham or flirtatious pretty boy. Grave Jackie or humorous Jack-man. Frankly, it was all too much.

Arriving at his house, she slid her Prius next to his Audi SQ5, turned off her vehicle and sat in the car, not ready yet to enter. She was having a serious internal debate as to whether she should go inside or not. Hadn't Hunt said something about trusting her instinct or her gut or whatever it was. Maybe she should just turn around and go home.

Unexpectedly, and as if making the decision for her, the baby began kicking at a frenzied pace.

"I guess I know who's side you're on, you little rascal," she said, patting her belly as she addressed the baby.

She inspected her makeup one last time using the mirror on the sun-visor, then climbed out of the vehicle.

Cradling her stomach, she marched forward, ready for whatever lie ahead, "Okay, baby. Here we go."

 **JACKSON**

At the sound of the bell, Jackson wiped his hands on the dishtowel and walked swiftly to the door to let April in.

Coming to an abrupt halt once he reached it, he took a long slow breath in through his nose, and let it out through his mouth in three counts. He didn't want to appear overeager, so he leisurely opened the door to be met with a sight that took that same measured breath away.

They both regarded each other cautiously, neither making any attempt to say anything until Jackson suddenly remembered his manners and invited her in.

"Hi. Um, come in. Come in," he said waving her forward, then moved in to hug her once she crossed the threshold, grimacing as he felt her promptly back away.

"Thank you," she murmured, an uneasy mien in conflict with her prettily made up face.

Jackson moved to help her off with her coat and inhaled sharply once he saw what she had on underneath.

As he stood behind her, his eyes roamed over how snuggly her dress fit, highlighting her more… ample bottom in the process.

He always loved her body, the slender form with its subtle curves. He thought she was perfect, but he couldn't say he wasn't too upset by the fact that her ass had gotten fatter. And when she turned to face him, his eyes immediately darted toward her breasts as they were pushed together by the tightly belted fabric as it rested right below where her boobs fell.

She cleared her throat to regain his attention and he embarrassingly craned his neck up, though it did take some effort.

"You… you look beautiful," he confessed.

Obviously, she hadn't been expecting a complement as she stuttered in response, "Th-thank you."

"I mean it," he continued, "you're glowing."

She stared at him for a moment, most likely unsure of how to respond, "Well, pregnancy will do that to you."

Her snarky tone did not elude him.

"Would you like a tour of the house before we eat?" he proposed, hoping to shift the mood.

He knew he'd been leering at her and he didn't want her to think his motives for inviting her over were purely to satisfy his wanton desires.

"Sure, that's be great," she said with a polite smile.

Jackson was grateful that she offered him that much. He didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with her. Not tonight.

Walking her through the living room he drew her attention to some of his new artwork and the gas fireplace. Then in the kitchen, he steered her toward the Verona double oven range, the same one she'd said she'd always wanted once they had their own house. Well, that was back when they were still married and thinking about purchasing a home for them and all the children they were going to have.

Once in the dining area, he pointed out the sliding glass doors to the spacious backyard, "Big enough for a swing set", he commented, then lead her down the hallway to the laundry, bathroom and bedrooms.

"This is the guest bedroom slash office. I haven't quite decided which one I want to convert it into yet, so it's doing double duty," he stated as he stepped back and allowed her to peek in.

"Nice," she offered but said nothing else.

Jackson continued onto past the main bath, briefly notating its location and stopped in front of a closed door.

"This is where I plan on having the baby sleep," he said with a wide grin and opened the door to reveal a completed nursery.

"Oh my God, Jackson. You have it done already," she gushed, looking wide-eyed around the space.

Jackson had to admit, he was proud of himself. He'd gone with an ABC 123 motif, the walls painted a pale green, complete with crib, dresser and changing table.

"I figured the theme would go great for either a boy or a girl. So, what do you think?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

He watched as she spun slowly around the room, beaming with glee.

"It's wonderful, Jackson. Did you do all of this yourself?" she inquired.

"No, I wish I could take all the credit, but I had one of the designers from The Land of Nod help me out. You know, that baby store over on 49th? I went by there Saturday afternoon and told them it was a rush order and they were able to deliver everything on Sunday. The room was already this color, so I sort of lucked out there. But, you really like it?" he asked again, wanting to be sure.

She shook her head enthusiastically, "Yes, I really do."

They stared at each other and Jackson could sense the air in the room. It was palpable. The hairs on his arms stood up, his tongue felt thick like he's had a layer of peanut butter spread across it and he heard a distinct dull hum in his ears. He didn't know what had crossed between them, but it clearly made April uncomfortable as she rushed out of the room.

"So, what's this way," she gestured as she cleared the doorway.

He followed her as she headed toward the master bedroom.

"This is my room," he said as he ushered her inside, "it has a master bath attached along with a side entrance to the backyard."

"Wow, this is really huge. It's much bigger than the one in our… I mean, my apartment," she said, her last words trailing off.

Her slipup didn't escape him, "Yeah, this room is more than big enough for two," he hinted, a twinkle in his eye. But if he thought she would find his remark mirthful, he was sadly mistaken.

"I don't need to know about that," she answered, the outrage in her voice unmistakable.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant. It came out wrong. April, I…" he tried to explain but she cut him off.

"Let's just eat okay?" she stated flatly.

Jackson just bowed his head, crestfallen and led her back to the kitchen.

 **APRIL**

Her eyes cast down, she trailed Jackson back to the front of the house.

She knew he didn't mean anything by his statement, and she certainly didn't want to come off as rude, but she'd by lying if she said what he revealed hadn't stung. Just the thought of him sharing his home, much less his bed, not only with their baby, but with another woman brought all her jealous tendencies to the surface.

Once they reached the kitchen, April stood awkwardly as Jackson busied himself getting their food together.

"You can sit down you know," he said, his mouth turned up at the corners.

April relaxed at his expression. She didn't want this evening to be filled with animosity between them, so she crossed over to him and bumped him with her elbow.

"So, what can I help you with?" she said, a small grin on her face.

"You could get the plates while I dish out the food," he suggested.

April set the table; two dishes, silverware and glasses, then sniffed the air, suddenly elated at what she smelled.

"Is that Din Tai Fung," she asked, excited.

"Yeah, it is," he answered, the joy evident in his statement.

She clapped happily at his thoughtfulneThey used to order out from that restaurant at least once a week, typically on Saturday's where they'd gather all their containers and cuddle on the couch while they watched a movie. It usually ended up being an action flick, Jackson's choice, but she didn't mind. By the time they'd finished eating, she'd find some way to distract him and their evening would take a different turn as they made love on the sofa and eventually the rug for hours.

"What did you get?" she wondered as he opened the cartons, steam rising from them.

"Well, I got us some string beans with garlic, shrimp fried rice, sweet and sour chicken and your favorite," he stated as he waved the box under her nose, enticing her "vegetable and pork dumplings."

She spread her fingers across her belly, "Yummy."

"I thought you'd like that," he said proudly, "come on, let's sit."

As they moved to the table, one container in each hand, she spun right, and he turned left, and he accidently brushed up against her belly.

"Oh, sorry," he said and chuckled.

Finding his laughter contagious, she couldn't control the fit of giggles as they rose from her chest.

"That's okay, it's hard to avoid this thing," she says as she pointed at her middle, "it just gets bigger and bigger every day."

"You're supposed to get bigger, sweetheart. Plus, it looks good on you. You're radiant," he said with no implication that he was joking.

All April could do was blink. Her face contorted with a confused expression.

How was she supposed to respond that? He called her sweetheart and it appeared as he hadn't even realized he'd done it. What the hell was she supposed to do about that? She was debating whether she should make him aware when thankfully, the baby gave her a way out.

"Oh," she said as she doubled over, nearly dropping the food on the floor.

He put the cartons he had on the table, took what she held in her hands and placed it down as well.

Grasping her forearms, he angled his head to look directly into her eyes, "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"No," she assured him, "I'm fine, but I think baby is trying to tell me something. We'd better eat before I get another swift kick to the bladder," she snickered, brushing it off.

She sat down, and he served their food, bringing her a bottle of water and a bottle of beer for himself from the fridge aptly named Fist Bump as it was sure to knock you on your ass, made by Stoup, a local brewery they'd frequented.

"Boy, do I miss those," she said as she jerked her head toward the cold brew.

He lifted the bottle and took a long swig, "Ah. Well, I'll be sure to have one on ice for you as soon as you deliver."

April swatted at his hand playfully. Well, at least he still planned to engage with her after the birth she thought.

They dug into their food and she reluctantly brought up the topic she'd been wanting to put off.

"So, you said you wanted me to come over, so we could talk. What about?" she questioned, using a pair of chopsticks that had been taped to the outside of the carton to shovel rice into her mouth.

She observed him as he took a bite of his chicken, swallowed, then began, "Yeah. I know we have a lot of decisions to make. We already talked about how we'd split the week and the holidays we'd have the baby, but I wanted to talk to you about…"

April raised her eyebrows in anticipation waiting for him to finish.

"…uh, the trust fund I wanted to start," he said and looked immediately at his plate.

She thought that odd, because she was sure that wasn't what he was going to say, "I guess that's something we should consider. I know you and your family are worth a lot of money. I just don't want our baby to be spoiled. I am adamant that we not raise some pretentious, entitled child."

"Are you insinuating that I was a pretentious, entitled child?" he asked.

She could tell she'd offended him by the look on his face and she didn't want to get into a tiff with him, so she backed off.

"No, of course not. But I've seen enough of them to know that's not how I want my kid raised," she said.

"Trust me, they won't be. I know I grew up with the finer things in life, a sliver spoon in my mouth so to speak, but my mother instilled in me good morals and values and I want the same for our baby," he vowed.

They continued to talk over a variety of subjects from which pediatrician they wanted to use, whether the baby would get baptized, to include schooling, which April thought was way to soon to start considering.

He claimed that if they wanted to get the baby into a good private school; because he knew she was hell-bent against boarding school, they'd have to start early. He said he understood her apprehension with the idea of sending their child away for their education and knew that they had to learn to compromise if this co-parenting thing was going to work. What he did suggest is that as soon as the baby was born, they put their name on the waiting list for Woodland Hall Preschool.

April had to confess, she was utterly shocked that he seemed to fold on the school issue and to think, she'd been nervous for nothing. Sure, there had been some hiccups this evening, but they were getting along famously.

She listened intently as he went on about taking paternity leave the same time she took her maternity leave, how they'd work their schedules if one of them had to work late or had an emergency because he didn't want to become dependent on the hospital day care.

She listened to his reasons, open to the ideas he was presenting, only adding her two cents when necessary.

She was impressed that he'd thought so much about how they'd raise little Kepner-Avery and she was having such an enjoyable time that she almost wished the night wouldn't end. Well, that was until he'd made his next blunder because as soon as she let down her guard, he ruined it.

They were nearing the end of the meal when he slapped himself upside the head with the palm of his hand.

"Crap, I nearly forgot," he said as he grabbed the brown bag from the counter, "these are for you."

He dumped about twenty fortune cookies on the table to her delight, "You remembered!" she exclaimed joyfully.

"Of course, I remembered, and they're all yours, as long as you don't throw them at me," he added jokingly, but she knew when he saw her expression, he'd made a huge faux pas.

Livid, she rose from her chair, "Why would you say that to me? You really think that's funny?"

"Oh! Oh, no, no, no, April. I was just kidding with you," he said, rising from his seat as well.

April could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Thinking to herself, she wondered why he would bring up one of the worst moments of their marriage. The night he asked her for a divorce and they got into a shouting match and she threw fortune cookies at him in frustration. She knew that one glorious thing had come out of that horrible evening and the byproduct was the baby she was now carrying, but that didn't justify his poor attempt at levity.

And at this exact moment, she recalled all the things that she disliked about Jackson Avery. Yes, he was brilliant, kind and very protective of the people he cared about and loved. But, he was also blunt. Saying whatever was on his mind, regardless if it hurts someone's feelings, extremely stubborn and had an inane ability to hold a grudge.

Not bothering to excuse herself, she marched away from the table, thru the kitchen and to the living room where her coat and purse were.

She cursed herself silently. She should have listened to her gut just like Hunt told her to.

Right now, all she wanted was to be was far, far away from Jackson Avery.

 **JACKSON**

Jackson could hear her as she tried to put her coat on, the fabric rustling in the distance.

He found himself in shock not only by her reaction, but also by what he'd said. He was only trying to make her laugh and honestly thought she'd find the humor in it.

Suddenly remembering that his feet did work, he rushed out after her, stopping her just as her hand reached for the door handle.

"April, please. Stop. Don't leave," he pleaded.

She turned to face him, the tears now obvious as the fell down her cheeks, her coat half on her body.

"I must have lost my mind coming over here. I should have known it was a mistake. We ruin everything!" she screamed.

Not wanting to agitate her further, Jackson gently peeled the coat from her shoulder, folded it and placed it on the entryway table.

"April, I'm begging you, please, listen to me for one minute," he said, biting his lip so hard in anticipation of her answer that he could taste blood.

She appeared to be weighing her opinions whether to stay or go. When he saw her shoulders fall and she sucked her lips between her teeth like a child who was trying desperately to keep a secret they wanted to tell, he knew that this was his window.

"What I said back there was stupid and inconsiderate. I swear to you, I was not trying to hurt you. That's the last thing I would do," he explained, his eyes never leaving hers. He wanted her to see how sincere he was.

"But you have hurt me Jackson, and before you say it, I know I've hurt you too. Maybe this is a sign," she sighed and all he wanted to do was cry.

"No, it's not. We've been through some shit, sure, but we came back from it. April, the pregnancy scare, the year we were broken up, the second time you went to Jordan, the divorce. All those things were horrible and yes, we could have prevented them, but we didn't. We didn't try hard enough. _I_ didn't try hard enough," he placed his hands on her forearms and held firm.

"But what about the good times, huh? Our years of friendship, the first time we made love, the day we got married," he declared.

April shifted from foot to foot, but didn't respond.

"And what about this baby? This baby was made from love, just like Samuel," he watched as her eyes began to water again.

He used his thumb to wipe where the tears had gathered, "Yes, it was terrible what happened to Samuel. What we went though. We let it tear us apart when we should have been there for each other."

"All I wanted for tonight was for us to… us to…" he stumbled over his words.

"What Jackson, what did you want? What was the point of all this?" she cried out.

Jackson could feel his heart rate pick up. This was it. The defining moment. He had to let her know how he felt.

Jackson released her arms and lifted his hands to lovingly stroke her face.

He felt like he was in one of those movies, where time stops and the camera pans around the couple slowly, but this wasn't a movie. It was real life and he was going to show her how much he wanted her back.

 **APRIL**

April saw it coming, but she couldn't believe it. It was as if everything were in slow motion. She knew she should yell out nooooo, like they did on television when the car was coming, and the bystander is yelling for the person it's about to run over to move out of the way, but they were oblivious.

That, that is exactly what this felt like. So, when his lips met hers and pecked at them lightly, then he grew bolder and deepened the kiss, she temporarily lost all motor function.

She felt like Raggedy Ann. Limbs dangling. Eyes blank and emotionless. My God, she couldn't breathe. He'd sucked all the air from her lungs.

And she tried, oh how she tried to resist him, using her hands to press gently against his chest, but when he tenderly coaxed her mouth open with his tongue, her body melded with his.

Then like a bolt of lightning, her brain clicked on and she tasted, heard and felt everything.

His sweet tongue as it wrestled with hers. His soft moans of pleasure as they reached her ears. His hands as they lowed to her now rounder, fuller hips. The light stubble on his jaw as it tickled her chin. She felt off balance. It didn't help that her pregnancy hormones made her extremely aroused. Being with him, in his embrace was like a call to home.

But when she felt his hard-on against her belly, like a bucket of icy water to the face, she reacted with shock and firmly pushed his body away from hers.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she glared at him, "Why?" was all she could ask.

He stood there unmoving, his mouth open but no words coming out. He spread his arms wide as if in comfort and made a motion toward her.

April moved backward until her body hit the door. She felt for the handle behind her and that's when he spoke up.

"I love you!" he roared, and April almost fell to the floor.

Angry tears streamed down her face as she watched him, bewildered that he would say that to her. Sure, he'd been kinder to her the last week, but he didn't want her anymore and now he was telling her he loved her?

No. No, it couldn't be true.

He'd told her that he couldn't wait for her if she went to Jordan. He'd told her that he didn't think they were worth fighting for. He'd told her that divorcing her was the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Those things were true. But this? She couldn't comprehend.

Was he horny and only wanted her for sex? Was that the reason for inviting her to lunch, to his home. For telling her he liked it when she blushed, that she looked beautiful tonight.

"Don't you say that to me. You don't mean it," she said through clenched teeth.

"But I do, April. I do love you. I have always loved you. I will never stop loving you," he said, inching forward slowly, likely in an attempt not to scare her off.

"I know I've been difficult and I put you through a lot. I was furious with you for leaving me for Jordan. I felt like you'd abandoned me like my father had and all I wanted to do was get back at you. Punish you for all the pain and anguish I had inside. For the miserable state you left me in. But when I saw you with Riggs last week, how you were trying to move on, I realized, I was jealous. And no, before you ask, it's not because I don't want you to be happy. I thought about you, married to someone else. Him helping to raise our child. A man who is appreciative of you. A man who finds your quirks adorable. A man who is proud of all the struggles you have been through and somehow managed to come out on top."

He closed the distant between them and April shivered involuntarily. Not in fear, but at his words and their ability to shatter her already fragile state.

He stopped about a foot away from her and she waited for him to make his final plea.

"April, I want that man to be me. We can get past all the hurt. We can make the life you always wanted us to have. We can be better than we were," he cupped her face, a longing look in his eye, "I need you to trust me, April. Do you trust me?"

April didn't even hesitate when she answered, "No."

And with that parting shot, she turned and was out the door.

 **JACKSON**

Jackson was stunned. He stood there, arm hanging in the air like a useless appendage.

His chest hurt as if someone had pierced it with a sharp instrument. His eyes burned from the tears he refused to let fall. His legs felt weak and all he wanted to do was collapse onto the floor.

She didn't trust him.

He'd been her best friend. Her co-worker, performing complex surgeries side by side in the operating room. When things were good, her devoted husband. The father of her children, and she didn't trust him.

But who was he kidding. He'd protested to himself for months how he didn't trust her, yet he expected her to give him her undying devotion as soon as he deemed his feelings for her altered.

Jackson gathered himself together. He would not fall apart, not now, nor was he going to give up.

When he told April he loved her, he meant it and the fact that he hadn't reverted to his previous state of malice and contempt for her at her refusal of his declaration just demonstrated to him that he had changed.

He would prove to her that what he'd said was not a frivolous sentiment. That his feelings for her were indeed real. That he loved her and only her and would never love another until the day he died.

Time, she just needed time to understand the veracity of his words.

Tomorrow, he vowed, he would step up his campaign to win back her heart.

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 5 song title – Lovefool by the Cardigans**

 **Thank you, Missy, for the idea to identify each change perspective of character by name so as not to confuse the reader.**

 **I noted some of the nicknames Jackson has been called over the years. Here is a complete list so far:**

 **Pretty Boy, Mr. Green Eyes, Jackie, Tweedledum, Talkie Tina, Jack-man, Gunther, Richie Rich, The Ritz-Carlton of Surgery, Boy King, Dr. Fancypants, Baby Boy.**

 **Seattle businesses mentioned in this fic – The Land of Nod, Din Tai Fung, Stoup Breweries and Woodland Hall Preschool.**


	6. Un-break My Heart

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… and the world heaved a collective sigh.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 6: Un-break My Heart

 **JACKSON**

Jackson rolled over onto his left side and stared at the wall. He watched the rain fall outside of his bedroom window, a sour look on his face which matched the weather. Last night was a complete disaster and all he wanted to do was pull the covers up over his head and burrow in for the rest of the day. His intentions had been honorable. Was it his fault that he made a couple of stupid comments? Well, yes it was. But did she have to react so, Aprily? He chuckled at his use of a new term. Oh, it wasn't malicious, he meant that in the kindest way possible. April tended to be flighty when it came to him. Taking off like a shot without allowing him the benefit to explain. Taking his words so seriously when he had only been joking. Hell, she often spoke without thinking, not realizing the intent of her words. Ha! And she had the audacity to accuse him of being that way.

Groaning loudly, he jumped up out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. Maybe a nice hot shower would help pull him out of his funk. Well, as least he hoped it would. As he lathered up, he went over last night again, creating scenarios in which he could have produced a better outcome. Maybe he should have told her right off the bat how he was feeling. He'd tried in his oh so subtle way to hint at it over the past week with all the touching and complements and that kiss to the cheek. Was it his fault that she didn't recognize his cues?

Grabbing a bath towel, he dried off and set out to get dressed when he remembered something. Making a beeline for the kitchen, he saw the remnants of yesterdays dinner still on the table. He had intended to clean it up, but after she left in a huff, he retreated to him room to settle himself. He wanted to go after her. Chase her down and beg her forgiveness for spoiling the evening. All he'd wanted was for her to have an enjoyable time. Forget all the ugliness of their past. Possibly get a little frisky with him. A peck on the lips here. A tentative grope there. He knew she'd never have sex with him so soon after he'd only started being friendly with her again, but a little harmless petting couldn't hurt. Could it?

Jackson opened the lid off the top of the trashcan and dumped all the leftovers inside. There'd be no salvaging anything from that meal. Once he put the plates in the dishwasher he went to get clothed and ready for the day. He was debating with himself if he should seek April out right away and plead his case, or leave her to gather her thoughts on their changed situation. He knew April well and she was a bit neurotic in the sense that she overthought things. But, he also knew that if he didn't confront her at the right time, she'd just spin out of control. Not sure which way to lean, he decided to let fate guide him along his path, so he hurried into his clothes, grabbed his keys and was out the door.

Arriving at work he stomped his feet on the mat inside his office and grimaced as rained water sloshed from his sneakers. It had been a hard, chilly rain this morning which deftly reflected the mood he was currently in. On the car ride over he'd received a call from probably the last person he'd ever wanted too.

His grandfather had called to remind him of the Harper Avery Gala which was coming up and he wanted to confirm that Jackson would be attending this year. The last few years had been difficult in dealing with Samuel's death, April's departure and the divorce, all of which his grandfather refused to comment on unless it was to say something negatively. Oh, he sent his condolences by way of his mother when Samuel died, but Jackson had never even expected that much. Harper was never the warm and kindly grandfather type, so for him to even acknowledge that there had been a child all was a wonderment.

What Harper did do was express his disappointment in Jackson for standing up at another man's wedding and stealing the bride. He chastised him for eloping with _that woman_ as he called April for the first few months of their marriage. He reprimanded him for not being smart enough to get a prenuptial agreement, just as him mother had demanded. He reviled in the fact that April had left him for Jordan not once, but twice saying that he never should have gotten married so fast to someone he didn't know, regardless that Jackson had told him repeatedly that he'd known April for close to ten years. But probably the one thing that hurt him most was when Harper told him that he was just like his father for giving up and divorcing April instead of trying to stick it out. The assertion had come as a complete shock to him considering he'd objected to his marital status in the first place. But he was used to his grandfather's blunt, cold-hearted ways. Hell, for many years as a young child, he'd often believed that Harper was the reincarnation of Ebenezer Scrooge himself.

Jackson half listened to his grandfather as he bemoaned the fact that he hadn't attended a function in years, but his ears immediately perked up when he mentioned to him that he should bring his wife. For the umpteenth time, he had to remind Harper that he was divorced, though he didn't tell him that he hoped that status would be changing soon. He knew his grandfather remembered that he and April had split. That man had a mind like a steel trap. He knew he was doing it to piss Jackson off. Harper was disposed to remind him of his failures but never congratulate him on his successes. He'd told him time and time again, he was an Avery, he was expected to be great and he shouldn't need praise from his to remind him that he was to do better, and be better always.

Jackson didn't even bother to get into an argument with him, as most of their conversations led to some sort of disagreement. What he did do was promise him that he would be attending this year and just as he was about to hang up, he let him know that he would be bringing a date. When Harper inquired who it would be, Jackson chose not to share that bit of information. The gala was a over a month away and he hoped that by the time it rolled around, he would be able to present April proudly on his arm.

Once he'd politely gotten him off the phone he headed inside, which was where he was now, sitting behind his desk, prepping for the day ahead. He had a consult this morning, there was some lab work he needed to follow up on and a meeting with the board to discuss funding for new cryosurgical equipment. He checked his schedule to see what intern had been assigned to his service today and was dejected to find that it was Stephanie.

Over the last few years, he and Stephanie had mended their relationship. They were professional when they worked together and were on good speaking terms, cordial, but they'd never be closer than that. After what he'd done to her, he was surprised she'd ever spoke to him again, but there was one thing he could say about her, she never let anything beat her down. She was a strong woman, brilliant and prideful. In a lot of ways, she reminded him of his mother and he didn't want to get into the implications of him dating someone so like his mom. That was a conversation to be saved for the therapist's office if he ever needed one. He had admired the fact that not only was she was able to move past the unpleasant history she had with him, but with April as well. From what he could tell, she and April got along better now than when they had when he and Stephanie were dating. More than likely, Stephanie realized that he never really loved her, and she deserved better then to settle for second best.

Snatching up his tablet he sped his way through the main lobby and up the stairs when for the second time that morning, he heard a voice that he had not been expecting.

"There you are, baby boy," Catherine yelled to him from across the reception area.

Jackson cringed as he slowly turned and trudged down the stairs to meet his mother, "Hi mom."

She reached up and caressed his face, pulling him down so she could buss him on the cheek.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Boston for the next two weeks," he asked.

"What, I have some business to take care of. Besides, I can't come and surprise my son?" she asked, eyebrows raised skyward in an expression he was quite familiar with.

Jackson then made a face that she knew also knew all to well.

"Yeah, sure mom. You just happen to pop in on the same morning I get a call from grandpa. What are you two making a coordinated attack?" he accused her, arms now folded across his chest.

Jackson couldn't crack his mother's façade often, but he'd mastered the ability to read her.

"Okay," she began as she looped her arm through his and led him back in the direction he had been heading, "I did come here for a reason."

Jackson knew his mother well and coy she was not. Whatever she was doing here wasn't a coincidence. He knew he gave her a tough time for butting into his personal life as well as his professional business, but there was one thing he couldn't change and that was that she was persistent.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, Jackson stopped in the middle of the hall, unhooked his arm from hers and glared at her waiting for an explanation. If anything, his mother was persistent, and he couldn't say he wasn't the same either, but if there was a record for stubbornness, she surely held it.

Her eyes cast down, she confessed her reason for her unscheduled appearance.

"Well, a little birdy told me that you had lunch with April the other day and that the two of you looked awfully… cozy," she stated, her eyes searching his for an explanation.

Jackson held his chin in contemplation, "A little birdy huh? Well would this little birdy happen to be about six feet tall, bald and black?"

"My husband has nothing to do with this," she said as if offended, but Jackson was not moved by her performance.

She waited for him to offer up his account of the matter, but he was not budging.

"Come on baby, tell me what's going on?" she said, remaining steadfast. Her eyes widening further the longer he refused to speak.

She shrugged her shoulders as if unbothered, "Fine, you won't tell me, then I'll go straight to the source."

As she began to stroll off, Jackson wrapped a hand around her forearm and pulled her off to the side.

"Look mom, I do not want you interfering in this, do you understand? What is going on between April and me is our business and our business alone. You are not to question her or boss her around. I want you nowhere near this, are we clear. No exceptions," he exclaimed, his stance rigid, his tone firm.

She twisted her mouth in annoyance and Jackson knew at that point that he had won.

"Can you at least do something for me then?" she asked.

His expression softened as it eventually did when it came to her, "What?"

"Would you please let me know if there is anything I can do to help?" she asked, an affectionate look on her face.

Jackson furrowed his brow. To say he was stunned by his mother's offer was an understatement. And to say that there was some trepidation on his part was a fair assessment.

He loved his mother dearly, but she didn't typically offer her assistance without it benefiting her somehow. Not that she wasn't benevolent. For example, when it came to sharing her knowledge and experiences with her peers and subordinates, but in turn, she garnered their praise and numerous accolades. So, knowing that she wanted to help Jackson in his quest, he had the right to be somewhat suspicious.

"What do you want mom?" he asked not wanting to wait for the preverbal shoe to drop before he found out what her game was.

"Nothing, I swear," she said, holding her hand up in a plea of innocence.

"Mom," he stressed, insistent.

She huffed at him before she proceeded, "Fine, I must admit, I was perplexed when Richard told me he'd seen you two canoodling at lunch together and believe me, I don't want to interfere…"

He interrupted her, "You're kidding right?"

"Don't be a smart ass. Like I was saying, I don't want to interfere, but if you're doing what I think you're doing, I only ask that you go in with your eyes wide open," she suggested.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

"April is who she is. She still has her beliefs and her convictions, and she isn't going to magically change just because you decided you want her back and you, my child, are the exact same way. If you want to make this work, you're both are going to need to learn to live with each other's differences and compromise. That's the only way you two are going to make it."

Jackson eyed her skeptically, "Why are you helping me?"

She placed her hand over his heart, "Two reasons. First, I know what it's like to be in a marriage filled with contrary attitudes. I've been in two of them, remember. Richard and I love each other dearly, but it takes arduous work for us to accept each other for who we are. Secondly, baby, all I want is for you to be happy and April makes you happy. I know the two of you have gone through some terrible times, but there's almost nothing that isn't forgivable. I know you think I have something against April, but I don't, and I deeply regret the part I played in creating this divide between you two. I am going to be a grandmother, I couldn't be more excited and if that sweet baby has the chance to be a part of a loving family unit, then I'm all for it. Jackson, I know how hard it was for you growing up without a father and I take pride in the fact that you've turned out to be such a wonderful man, and if this is what you want, then I'm not going to stop you. It's time for you to make this choice."

He pulled his mother into a hug and kissed her forehead, "Thank you mom. Thank you for being on my side and thank you for understanding that this is something I need to do."

"Anything for you baby," she said, rubbing the back of her knuckles against his cheek.

He looped his arm around her shoulder, "So, what other _business_ have you got planned for the day?" he inquired as he led her toward his first stop of the day.

After his chat with his mother and dropping her off to an equally surprised Webber, he continued with his routine for the day. He kept himself busy for the most part which helped because he didn't have the opportunity to pine over April and what he was going to do.

During afternoon rounds, he met up with Meredith whom he had a patient with. Leonard Elikens was a forty-year old male who had been in a horrific car accident which caused him to lose much of the tissue which covered his scalp. They had been 'growing' extra by inserting a silicone balloon expander under the skin near the area that needed repair, gradually adding saline over time to allow it to stretch. They'd been seeing him over the last four months and were finally ready to proceed with his surgery.

Throughout the period in which Jackson had been discussing with the patient the process, procedure and complications, he noticed that Meredith kept stealing looks at him. He did his best to tune her out and concentrate on what he was doing, and as soon as he'd finished, he sent Stephanie off on a task, ushered Meredith off to the side and asked her what the deal was.

"So, is it true?" she asked, almost giddy.

"Is what true?" he wondered.

"You and Kepner? Are you getting back together?" she probed, barely able to contain her amusement.

Horrified that yet another person was involving themselves in his personal life, he shook his head in annoyance.

"What the hell? does everybody know my business?" he asked, as just the idea of everyone in the hospital knowing about his plan to pursue April was disconcerting.

"Relax," she said, waving her hand at him as if to diminish the significance of irritation, "Alex told me he saw you and April the other day at lunch and it looked intimate. He said he tried to sit with you guys, but you gave him the stink eye, so he beat it. So, what's up? You're back together right?" she insinuated, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

Jackson started talking, almost to himself, "I don't know why everybody feels they have a right to get into my business today, but yes, I was sitting with April, yes I didn't want Karev to join us and no, that's all you're gonna get."

"Calm down, I'm not here to bust your chops. Besides, I think it's cute," she replied.

"Cute? I'm a grown man, Mer, I don't do cute," he stated.

She hit him on his upper arm, "Shut up, of course you do. Look, I'll admit, when I found out you and April did the wild thing, I thought it was a little odd. I mean, the two of you couldn't be more different if you tried. But, whatever it is you two had, it worked. She grounded you and you reeled in her crazy."

"I wish you'd guys stop calling her crazy," he said, a scowl growing on his face.

"Cut it out, I'm joking, you know that. I like April. Sure, she took a while to grow on me, but she's good people," she assured him.

"Mer, I appreciate that you… care about our situation, but it's just that, our situation," he said, in as nice a tone as possible, but leaving no doubt that he didn't want or need her advice.

"Can I say one thing at least and then I'll never mention it again unless you come to me?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes impetuously, "Yeah, sure."

"I can't tell you how much I miss Derek and I long for him every day, but if I had the chance to go back alter those last few months of our lives when we fought over what seems like nothing now, I wouldn't care what anyone say or what they thought, I would do it. Tell her no matter how terrified you are of her answer. No matter what the outcome, say something or you'll regret it the rest of your life. Jackson, you love April and April loves you," she said as if he needed any confirmation on his part.

He snorted at her brashness, "What, is it written all over my face?"

"Basically," she stated in affirmation.

Jackson considered the unsolicited counsel he'd received today. He did think it was quite odd that Meredith had said something eerily similar to what Mark had said to him. He missed Sloan. He was more than just his mentor, he was like the father he never had. He missed learning from him. He missed his guidance. But most of all, he missed his friendship. He'd given Jackson some of the best advice he'd ever received, and he remembered it all so clearly.

" _I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it'll burn your life to the ground, you say it and you say it loud and then you go from there."_

At the time, he thought it was just the ramblings of a man who had come close to death and was spouting the wisdom of his experiences and not a surge as Dr. Webber had implied in which terminally ill patients have a final rush of energy in which they get better before they get worse.

When April told him that she was leaving for Moline, he'd panicked slightly but was on a mission to retrieve Sophia for Mark and asked her to meet him at Joe's. After Mark died, all the feelings that he had buried for her rose to the surface and he ran to meet her only to find her already gone. If he hadn't been such a coward, he would have gotten on a plane and followed her to Moline and begged her to come back. If he hadn't been such a coward, he would have called her at some point while she was gone and told her how he felt. If he hadn't been such a coward, he would have been more upfront about how what she'd said had hurt him and not run away the moment she expressed joy at the fact she wasn't pregnant and didn't have to marry him. If he hadn't been such a coward, he would have followed her to Jordan that second time when she asked. If he hadn't been such a coward, he would have told her that no, it wasn't what he wanted when she asked him the question as there viewed each other over the table at the divorce hearing. All he knew right at this moment was that he wasn't going to be a coward anymore. He'd told April last night that he loved her, now he was going to prove it.

Placing his tablet into the dock, he went off to find her. He couldn't deny it, April had on his mind day in and day out for months, and after his talk with his mother and Meredith, he was more determined than ever. He was going to be straight forward with her and tell her point blank what he wanted and what he wanted was her.

"Where are you going?" Meredith called out to him as he sprinted off.

Yelling out over his shoulder, not caring who heard him, he told her, "To ask my ex-wife out on a date."

 **APRIL**

April's eyes shot open and she blinked hard in the semi-darkened room. Turning her head to the side, she glanced at the alarm clock and through squinted and bleary eyes, she saw that it was close to five and she groaned at the fact that once again, she had woken before the alarms buzzer even went off. Ever since she'd entered her second trimester, it seemed as if baby had developed its own routine, waking her earlier than normal to start her day.

She lay flat on her back and stared up at the ceiling, trying her best to come to terms with all that had happened in her life during the last few days. It didn't help matters that she had just woken from one of the filthiest, most erotic dreams she had ever had and of course it would have to star the man she was currently embroiled in some weird tug of war with her feelings.

Damn these pregnancy hormones!

In her dream, they had been in their apartment, well her apartment now, and she hadn't been pregnant. From what she could remember, as it was fading away, it was during their happy marriage bubble. Those glorious early weeks when all they had to worry about was not being found out. They'd actively avoid each other at work, but by the time night fell and they met back at their apartment, it was no holds barred.

In this dream, or was it a memory, she couldn't tell at this point, they had come home and made dinner and flirted with each other mercilessly. She'd enjoyed teasing him, slowly licking the corner of her mouth, sucking the juices from their meal off her finger, making mmm noises as he eyed her hungrily. Each time he tried to initiate something, she gently pushed his chair away with her foot, waving her finger and giving him the 'tsk tsk tsk' sound. She'd managed to hold him off as they ate, but once it was over, he'd damn near attacked her.

He carried her over his shoulder to their room and tossed her on the bed. What followed was an evening of debauchery unlike they'd ever engaged in before. The ways he twisted her, turned her, folded her body. The unequivocally dirty suggestions he'd whispered in her ear. The things he said he'd wanted to do to her for all those months they'd been apart. Thinking about it know, she could vividly remember one position he'd managed to put her in. They were both laying down, her back to his front, and he'd hooked his arms around the back of her legs and clasped his hands at the back of her head so that her knees were level with her ears. Jackson had a long… stroke, so even though they were in an awkward position, she felt every inch of what he had to give her.

She didn't think there was one place in that apartment that they hadn't christened. From the bedroom to the kitchen to the bathroom to the balcony, she and Jackson had laid; no pun intended, a trail of almost illicit sexual activities throughout their residence.

But she couldn't think about that right now. It did nothing to help resolve the problem she was currently having. Last night after she left Jackson's, she was in a complete state of confusion. He had kissed her full on the mouth. A searing kiss that she had felt from the top of her head to the tip of her toes and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed it. Hell, she might have even welcomed it had it been, oh, about six months ago. Now… now she didn't know what to think, let alone feel.

Why would he kiss her? Why now of all times? Did he really miss her?

Yesterday when she showed up at his house she was extremely nervous and even doubted if she should attend. She should have known the evening was going to be tension filled as soon as she walked through the door. When he helped her remove her coat and then ogled her, sure she was secretly pleased because lately she felt anything but sexy, regardless if all her hormones wanted these days was sex. She was further taken aback by his exclamation that she looked beautiful. Sure, he'd been complementary to her more in the last week than he'd been in a year, but it still tickled her to no end. She should have known that it would only get weirder from there.

She'd concede, when he gave her the tour of his home, she thought it was exquisite and couldn't help but image the three of them living there together creating this wonderful life. Him, her and baby sitting by the fire at Christmas time admiring the tree. Her making breakfast for him as he sat at the kitchen table trying to feed their child. Or watching as he chased their little one around in the backyard. What made the idea of this even more real and tore at her heart strings at the same time was when he showed her the nursery.

This was the Jackson she knew. The kind, thoughtful man who would do anything to make her happy. It took everything she had to control her emotions, so she made a quick exit and went on with the tour. When he made that comment about the room being big enough for two, she'd felt a yearning in her gut. He quickly apologized for the insensitive quip but that didn't change the fact that it wouldn't be her that he'd be cuddling up next to while their child slept in the other room. She chose to dismiss the off-color remark in hopes of salvaging the evening.

She didn't want to be angry with him, it only hurt her more anyway, so when they went to plate their food, she decided to play nice. Imagine her surprise when he presented her with food from her favorite Chinese restaurant. They'd eaten their numerous times and the thought of each of those occasions brought about mostly good memories. But when he called her sweetheart after they'd accidentally brushed up against each other, she should have put the kibosh on the night right then and there.

Why didn't she correct him? They weren't familiar with one another like that anymore. She should have taken it as a sign that something was off. But then he started talking about trust funds and schools and daycare and she got lost in the notion of creating a life for their baby.

Then he went and did it again. He said something that wounded her profoundly.

Of all the things he could have brought up, he had to go with the fight. Sure, something wonderful came out of it, but it was the catalyst, the finale of their union and being forced to remember it devastated her. So, she stormed out, but she never got that far when out of the blue he made a declaration of his love for her. Saying he didn't try hard enough. Reminding her of the good times like their friendship, the elopement, the love making. His words were influencing her, about that she could not li, but when without warning he took her face so lovingly in his hands and kissed her, well she all but lost it.

She saw it coming, like an unstoppable train and she had to make some swift calculations in her head. Did she want this or not? Should she stop him or not? Ultimately, she hadn't, and she was swept up in the moment until reality or rather his boner metaphorically smacked her in the face.

It wasn't right and when he asked her if she trusted him, she unequivocally and without any qualms said no. Did she really mean it? Well that was still up for debate. She wasn't stupid, or naïve, regardless of what people thought. She'd seen the signs over the last few days, but she'd blatantly tried to ignore them. The joking, the touching, the compliments. She could no longer pretend she didn't know what it meant. Jackson wanted her back. He wanted his family back, but just because he'd come to terms with how he felt and what he now wanted didn't mean that she was convinced.

Yes, she still loved Jackson. She loved him something hard, but she couldn't bear the thought of going through the pain of having a relationship with him fall apart again. She knew she wasn't perfect and that she had messed up, but what if she messed up again?

April groaned as she eased herself up out of bed. Swinging her legs off the mattress, she used her hands to help propel her more rounded figure up and out of bed. She had a thin layer of sweat coating her and she used her hand to wipe away the moisture from her forehead. She wasn't sure if the perspiration was from the dream or because her body always seemed to run warm these days. What she needed now was a shower to cool down, a nice big breakfast to fill her belly and a strong cup of coffee to ease her frayed nerves.

Wait, dammit, not coffee, she recalled. She was supposed to be off the stuff.

She walked over to the window and peeked out, unsurprised to find that it was raining. No, it didn't rain in Seattle all the time, contrary to widely held belief, but today even to her, it seemed most befitting. She was already unsure of what to do when she saw Jackson today and the weather only managed to increase the negativity of her mood.

Once she'd gotten dressed and eaten her breakfast, she threw on her overcoat, her beloved purple rubber rain boots and headed out the door.

Usually, she enjoyed the rain. She wasn't one of those glumly gusses who thought a little downpour was something to feel sad about. She thought of it as a new beginning. Washing away the ugliness of the day before. She'd often take pleasure in splashing in the puddles like she had as a child, but today she avoided them as if they were the plague. Besides, her mind was too preoccupied with how to deal with her ex-husband.

Arriving at work, she walked through the ER bay, keeping a watchful eye out for Jackson. She knew it was unlikely he'd be in the emergency room, seeing as there were no emergencies that required his specific medical expertise, but that didn't mean she still wasn't expecting him to ambush her with a cup of tea like she did the other day. She knew it was also cowardly to take this entrance and not the main one, but chances of going undetected by him this way gave her better odds.

She made her way to the attendings lounge to change into her scrubs and was glad to see she was the only one there. She had pulled off her goulashes and was in the midst of tying the string on her scrub pants when the door swung open with a bang, startling her. She was almost afraid to turn around to see who had entered when the party identified themselves.

"Morning, April," Arizona said.

April let out a sigh of relief and greeted the pediatric surgeon, "Good morning."

"So, how was your evening?" she asked in that overly perky way she had.

April cringed, but then suddenly remembered that she had no clue that last night she'd spent it with Jackson, therefore, she didn't know about the kiss.

Hesitating, she answered, "Uh, not bad. Yours?"

"It was great. I spoke with Sophia for about an hour last night and she told all about her new school. She seems really excited and I miss her so much, but I'm glad that she's adapting so well."

"I'm happy to hear that," she said, truly meaning her words.

They stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure what to say to each other next. They were still in this uneasy place with their friendship and April desperately wanted to go back to the way they were, but found it hard to put her faith in Arizona again.

How ironic she thought. She'd gone through the same issues with Jackson having lost the ability to trust her and here she was refusing to give her once good friend an ounce of leeway. And in just that moment, she realized how silly she was being. Arizona had apologized, and April knew deep in her heart that she had never meant to cause her any pain. Besides, she needed someone to talk to.

"Arizona, would you like to have lunch with me today?" she asked, a tad nervous as she waited for her response.

She should have known that she had nothing to worry about as a wide smile spread across Arizona's face.

"I'd love too. How about we meet around one. I have an esophagogastroduodenoscopy scheduled this morning which shouldn't take long, and some follow up on a few patients, but I should be finished well before then. Barring any complications of course," she answered excitedly.

"That sounds great," she said, offering a bright smile in return. At least she felt a little better about one of her relationships.

The rest of her morning consisted of labs, taping fractured ribs on a patient in the ER and the monitoring of one of her cases who had colon cancer surgery. She'd had no surgeries planned for the day and no other patients to check on until afternoon rounds, so what time she had left after she finished those other tasks went to completing paperwork. She did take note that she hadn't come across Jackson at all this morning. Not unusual, but still. After his attempts at pursing her, for lack of a better word, she'd fully expected him to turn up at some point. She'd thought maybe he'd beg her forgiveness for being so forward. Or, maybe he was hiding from her because he was embarrassed by his behavior. Frankly, she had no clue. All she knew was that she needed to have decide what action she wanted to take before she came across him again.

Maybe that's why she was looking forward to having a meal with Arizona. April didn't have any real close friends in Seattle even though she'd been here for years. Her best friend had been Reed and she had been murdered. Arizona could be considered her closest friend, though they hadn't become close until she told her, Cristina and Meredith they were going to be her bridesmaids in lieu of her sisters after they made fun of her at her bridal shower. Meredith was a friend, but their relationship was tenuous, though through no fault of her own. It seemed that Meredith wasn't as close to anyone as she was to Cristina and she had left them years ago. She didn't know Amelia or Maggie well enough to involve them in her business, besides, they were Meredith's sisters and all of them together were like the three witches from Macbeth at times and she needed no parts of that. She had tight bonds with Nathan and Owen who she considered more like brothers and she'd kind of hinted to them already about her issues with Jackson, but they weren't the sit and gossip with your girlfriend type of guys. As for Bailey and Webber, they were definitely out of the question. Then of course there was Jackson. He had been her friend since their Mercy West days, best friend since after the hospital shootings up until a few years ago. Oh, in the back of her mind, he was still her person, whatever that meant, but she couldn't very well talk to him, about him, so knowing that she could come clean with Arizona felt good.

April was so eager to spill to her, that she'd arrived at the cafeteria ten minutes prior then their scheduled meeting time. Waiting by the food service line, she waved to Arizona wildly when she entered.

"Hey, girl," she said, greeting her.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said, unable to contain herself any longer.

"Really? What's going on?" she asked impatiently. Arizona always did like to hear gossip.

April cocked her head to the side and pondered the situation. If she told Arizona what was going on, then she'd admitted to herself that she had forgiven her and was ready to move on.

It only took her a second to decide.

Speaking low, but in a rushed sentence, she told her about last night, "I've been spending time with Jackson because he'd my Lamaze coach and we had lunch a few days ago and he asked me to come over to his house and I had dinner with him last night and he kissed me and now I don't know what to do because I'm not sure if I should trust him again."

Arizona stared at her blankly then held her hands up like she was being robbed and let out a shriek garnering the attention of everyone in the vicinity.

April grabbed her by the forearm and tugged her forward, "Shh. Keep it down, will you?"

"Wh-what do you mean he kissed you?" she asked in a hushed voice.

She quickly looked around to assure no one was listening, "Let's just grab some food, find a quiet corner then I'll explain. Okay?"

Arizona nodded her head, but April could tell that she was chomping at the bit to hear all the juicy details.

They located a table near the windows that would at least offer them some privacy and settled in for a long overdue chat.

April started right in from the beginning of her renewed involvement with Jackson. She told her about him acting as her Lamaze coach and the night he came back with her to her apartment. She told her about how he'd gone against her wishes and had the bathroom floor repaired. About him buying her tea and asking her to lunch. Then she told her about last night and the infamous kiss. She included all the laughing and cheek kisses and compliments making sure she got the full details.

By the time April was finished she was unsurprised to see that Arizona was speechless.

Her straw hanging from the corner of her mouth, she audibly gulped before she began piling her with questions.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know," April responded honestly.

"Well, did he tell you why he changed him mind about the two of you?" she inquired further.

"He said a lot of things, but the main thing he said was that he _loved_ me," she said, amazed at how easily the word spilled from her mouth.

"Well…" Arizona prompted her.

"Well what?" she wondered.

"Well, do you love him back?" she asked, her cornflower-blue eyes wide with expectant hope.

April considered her question. Really considered it. She sat in silence collecting her thoughts, knowing in her heart what she wanted to say, but her head opposed her saying it aloud. If she said it aloud, then it would be true.

Arizona reached out and covered her hand with hers.

"April, I know you. I can see the wheels spinning in your head. You're worried about what would happen if you gave him a chance. What would happen if you told him you loved him too. You're wondering if he's feeling overly nostalgic because you're having a baby together. You're wondering if after this baby is born, he'll suddenly remember that you left him for Jordan and that you didn't tell him you were pregnant," she paused briefly, realizing the intent of what she'd said.

"April, I need to apologize to you again. I know I told you how sorry I was, and I hope you know I meant it. I never wanted to come between you and Jackson and I never wanted to betray your trust. It's just, I remember the hell the both of you went through and I was scared for you. Scared for the baby and I…"

April saw that she was beginning to tear up, so she clasped their hands together.

"Arizona," she said looking determinately into her eyes, "I forgive you."

"Really?" she asked eagerly.

April nodded her head in affirmation, "Really."

"Thank you. I've missed you so much," she cried.

April handed her a napkin as she dabbed at the corners of her eyes as well, "I missed you too."

"But, lets stop with all this crying. People are starting to stare," she said and giggled at how silly they were being.

"Yes, lets. So, back to Jackson. Tell me, and be truthful. What do you want to do?" she asked.

"Arizona, I honestly don't know. I want to believe him. I want to trust him with my heart, but I wouldn't make it if he leaves me again. I know I'm supposed to be strong and independent and I'm not saying I need him for my survival, but… but I love him. I do. I love him more than anyone or anything in my life. I know I hurt him, but he hurt me too. If this didn't work, I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to love again. I'm weary, Arizona and I have every right to be," she confessed.

She watched as Arizona contemplated her words, screwing her face up into a momentarily.

"I'm gonna say something to you and you don't have to like it, but you need to hear it," she stated.

April gestured for her to proceed, "Be as candid as you need to be."

"You love Avery, anyone with two eyes can see that and you may not believe this, but he loves you too. I don't think he divorced you because he fell out of love with you. That man has never stopped loving you. It's written all over his face. You didn't see him all those times you'd be turned away from him, but I'd see. He'd have this far off look in his eyes, like he was longing for you. Now, I can't say what you should do, but if I were you, I'd give him a chance."

"Arizona, I don't kn-" she started, only to be cut off.

"Look, you're gonna make a decision one way or another, but if you choose what I think you are, then I'd make him work for it. He wants you back, then make his realize it's gonna take more than Chinese food to win your heart. Make him woo you," she said proudly.

April couldn't help but snicker at her suggestion. Yes, she was grateful for her input and she presented a compelling case, but she couldn't let the fate of her future with Jackson, if there was to be one, rest on Arizona's interpretation of how it should go.

If she was going to make her choice, she was going to weigh all the factors. So that meant she couldn't hide from Jackson any longer. It was time to confront her ex-husband and find out once and for all what they were going to be.

It would be her luck of course that after making sure to avoid running into him all morning, she wasn't able to locate him for the rest of the afternoon. She was kept busy during rounds and when she got the chance to hunt him down, a cholecystectomy was put on her schedule at the last minute and her services were required.

Making her way into the OR, she glimpsed him walking down the hall in her direction. Though they were quite some distance apart, she tried to decipher the look in his eyes, but she couldn't get a bead on his emotional state. He didn't seem upset in anyway, which was a good thing. She didn't want him angry with her after her dramatic departure last night, even though it was his fault it happened. He wasn't happy either as there was no smile gracing his handsome face. He appeared determined, and the closer he got, the surer she was.

She could feel a pounding in her chest as he stared at her, his gaze unwavering.

"April, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

She turned to her intern and told him to get the patient prepped and that she'd be along momentarily as Jackson took hold of her elbow and led her to an empty OR scrub room.

"Hey, what's up?" she asks as she stood taller, trying to bolster her confidence for their showdown.

"Um, how are you today?" he asked.

She was sure he was trying to decipher her current mood after last night.

"I'm good, thank you. And you?" she inquired, trying to hold her nerves at bay. The air in the room felt thick with just the two of them there and she felt her mouth dry instantly.

"Good. I uh, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was about what happened last night," he began.

She was flabbergasted. After everything that he'd been doing the last week, now he was taking it back? April must not have been able to school her features as he started to stammer.

"Wha… oh, no, no, no you've got it all wrong. I'm not sorry for kissing you. I mean I am, but I'm not. I wanted to do that. I've been wanting to do that for a long time," he said, a smile on his lips that traveled to his eyes.

She couldn't help but mirror his expression as she felt almost as if a glow began to emanate from her insides. The tension she felt in the air finally dissipating.

"What I'm sorry for is for all the stupid things I said. I wasn't thinking when I said them, and I never meant to hurt your feelings. And I'm sorry for not being straight with you. I should have come right out and told you how I felt and not ambush you with it. April, I know you're guarded and you have every right to be and if you don't feel comfortable being around me and would prefer Riggs be your Lamaze coach, I'd understand," he stated.

"No, I want you to be my coach Jackson and you don't have to apologize for last night. I know you didn't mean to say those things you did," she said, skillfully avoiding bringing up the kiss because she wasn't sure if she wanted him to know yet if she liked it or not.

"I know this is asking a lot, but do you think maybe we could meet for a drink after work. Well, not a real drink of course, but you know, to sit and talk?" he pleaded.

It took everything within her to tear her eyes away from his and she knew even before she opened her mouth that she was going to say yes, but she wasn't going to make it that easy on him. She decided to take Arizona's advice and make him work for her.

"That sounds great. I'd love too, but" she began as she watched his eyes light up then suddenly dull, "there are going to be some ground rules."

"Ground rules?" he asked confused.

"Yes, first off, you are taking me on a real date. Not for drinks and not for dinner at your place. You are going to pick me up and you are going to bring flowers and you're going to take me to a nice restaurant. This is going to be a real date and we are going to talk. Really talk. No bullshit, no deflecting and no running away, from either of us. You can pick me up at seven," she told him, head held high.

He could barely contain the smile as it spread across his face, "Yes, ma'am. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, don't be late," she said boldly as she turned and walked away.

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 6 song title – Un-break My Heart by Toni Braxton**

 **Well here we are, and it seems that Japril is on the mend, but really, what would a Jackson and April story be without some drama? (Insert evil laughter here) More to come.**

 **Oh, and how about this – esophagogastroduodenoscopy. See, I can write big words too.**


	7. Just The Two Of Us

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… I'm having serious Japril withdrawal.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 7: Just the Two of Us

Jackson licked his pointer and middle fingers then brushed the hair on his thick eyebrows down. He was standing outside of April's apartment, flowers in hand, as instructed, ready to go out on their first official date. In all their history, he'd never remembered if they'd actually gone out on a date at all. After she lost her virginity to him, her failing the boards, leaving for Moline then returning to Grey Sloan Memorial née Seattle Grace Mercy West, they hooked up immediately and began having sex again. Sure, there were some nights he'd go by her apartment or she'd come by his. They didn't always have sex at the hospital; they weren't animals, but those didn't count as dates. They were never seen in public together, not including the hospital and if they were hungry after hours of a little slap and tickle, they'd binge on whatever leftovers they had in the fridge. Then suddenly, they were broken up and after over a year of pining for each other and a stolen bride later, they were married. He didn't consider taking his wife out to dinner or a movie dating, so this was unfamiliar territory.

He couldn't deny that before she came over yesterday, he was apprehensive, but tonight, it was doubly so. He couldn't afford to mess up like he did last night. He somehow knew that although April was giving him a chance to prove to her that he was in this for real, this date was going to be make or break. He knew she said she wanted to talk, _"really talk, no bullshit, no deflecting and no running from either of_ _them"_ , and he planned to take her words to heart. They had a history of not communicating, assuming what the other one thought or felt, and he didn't want to do that anymore. No matter how difficult it was, or how painful the subject, he was going to be honest with April and tell her point blank what he wanted and what he wanted was her.

He'd made sure he was looking his best tonight, in Calvin Klein from head to toe. Chambray dress shirt, slim black pants with matching suit jacket, Bartley loafers, underwear, socks and cologne to complete the package. He even made sure he got a shape up before stopping to get the flowers. He checked the time on his watch and saw that it was five minutes until seven. She'd told him not to be late and he was going to make sure he was prompt. He left work at four; he'd been there since six am and he didn't think dipping out an hour earlier than he was scheduled to call it a day was such a big deal. Even though he technically owned the hospital, he still had a boss, so he told Chief Bailey that he had an appointment. It wasn't a lie exactly, he did have to call his barber with hopes that he could squeeze him in, so he was sort of telling the truth. If he was being candid, he didn't really care if Bailey found out about his ruse. He wanted to make sure everything was picture-perfect this evening and if he needed to carve out some personal time for himself, then so be it.

When he'd asked her to go out for a drink, he hadn't expected for her to tell him that she wanted to go out for dinner. Their date was such short notice that he'd had some quick arrangements to make. He wasn't the type of guy to take a woman out to a Chili's or an Applebee's, not that there was anything wrong with that, it just wasn't his style. Sure, it had a lot to do with his upbringing, but mainly, when he went out on a date, he wanted to impress the lady on his arm and eating at a restaurant where one table over you had to contend with a family of five with screaming kids and at another table there were a group of work friends celebrating a birthday and inevitably the waitstaff would come out and sing an out of tune rendition of the birthday song was not conducive to his overall strategy. But, he had to admit, there were plenty of benefits to being wealthy and having the ability to call up one of the hottest restaurants in the city that had a wait list month's in advance, be able to mention your name and get a reservation for that night was freaking awesome.

Jackson smoothed down his shirt more out of nervousness than anything else. For a split second he had the wild idea to use the key he had pilfered from the hook last week to enter the apartment but wisely realized that one, it would be highly inappropriate and two, probably not the best start to their evening. Stealing another look at his watch, he saw that it was seven on the dot, so he raised his fist and rapped at the door. It took about fifteen seconds before it flung wide and what he saw took his breath away.

April was wearing a silk peach, one shoulder dress that cut right above her knees and a pair of matching platform sandals that showed off her pretty toes. Her hair was in an elegant updo which showcased and elongated her swanlike neck. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth when he noticed the earrings that she'd chose to wear. They were a set of salmon colored morganite teardrops that he'd purchased for her on one of their weekend excursions. It was about six weeks into their marriage and they had gone to Fremont Sunday Market to browse, pick up some fruit and spend the day out in the sunshine. She had come across a stand with these eclectic pieces of jewelry and had been taken by the ones she was currently wearing. They seemed a little pricey to her, but he didn't think they were all that expensive, so he plunked down the forty bucks and told her to think of it as yet another belated wedding gift that they'd never get, seeing as they didn't invite anyone to their nuptials and that night she thanked him in a multitude of ways in which he would never forget.

"Hi," she said, greeting him with a warm smile.

"Hi," he replied smiling kindly in return. His initial instinct was to lean in and kiss her cheek, but he didn't want to seem presumptuous. He had to remember not to make any mistakes.

He presented to her the flowers he'd purchased. A bouquet of white and yellow primroses which may have appeared to be an unusual choice, but he felt relayed the emotion he wanted to convey.

While roses signified passion, they seemed to cliché. Orchids epitomized your ceaseless love, yet still, it wasn't the feeling he wanted to invoke. Tulip's were the renovation of love, but though he knew for a fact he still loved her, he couldn't be quite sure she felt the same. So, he chose primroses, a name which stood for 'I just can't stay without you', he hoped it showed how deeply he cared for her and that he couldn't live without her.

"Thank you, Jackson. These are beautiful," she said, sniffing them.

"Speaking of beautiful, you look stunning," he said, hoping she knew how sincerely he meant it.

"Thanks again. Uh, why don't you come in for a minute. I just need to go get my wrap and my clutch then I'll be ready to go."

Jackson walked inside and shut the door behind him. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he took a quick glance around as April left the room to gather her things. The place was immaculate as usual. No dishes in the sink, living room rug vacuumed, throw pillows fluffed and in their proper place. It also looked like she'd cleaned the windows. There wasn't a speck or smudge in sight as he stared out at the incredible view.

He recalled nights when they'd sit out on the balcony, a beer or glass of wine shared between them. They'd talk for hours about their childhoods, medicine or reminisce about their days with Reed and Charles. They had been their best friends and were dearly missed. The odd thing was, even though they shared tons of information about their formative years, they never really talked about the issues they were dealing with during their marriage. Avoiding sensitive topics seemed to be a staple of their relationship.

Returning almost as soon as she'd left the room, her ivory drape front coat over her arm, she called out his name to get his attention, "Jackson, I'm ready."

He turned from the window and reached out to take her coat and help her put it on. He'd always been a gentleman, holding doors, pulling out chairs, walking closest to the curb, and no matter the trials and tribulations they'd gone through, or whatever came of this evening, from here on out, he was going to treat her with the respect she deserved.

"So, where are we going?" she asked as she buttoned her coat.

"I made reservations for us at Art of the Table," he said.

"Whoa. That's one of the most exclusive restaurants in town. How'd you manage to get us a seating there so fast? I only agreed to go out on a date with you this afternoon," she asked in curiosity.

"Well, let's just say I have my ways," he answered with maybe a smidge of arrogance.

She chortled, and he knew she knew him well enough to know that he'd either used his name or a contact to get them that spot.

Heading out, she locked the door behind them and he bent his arm for her to loop through, pleased when she took hold.

He'd parked his car right out front, knowing that it wouldn't be long before they came back down. He unlocked the car for her and helped her in, then climbed in on his side. He tuned the radio to Star 101.5, a station that played a mix of pop, top 40 and R&B. She usually listened to country while he listened to Hip Hop and this was a channel on which they could meet halfway.

It'd been quite some time since they'd been in a car together. In the early days, he'd always reach out with his right hand and hold hers, maintaining his left on the wheel. Even when they were going through the rough patches; the fight about religion, when she first came back from Jordan, the period before the divorce, he'd always had the urge to reach over and take her hand in his, and the feeling this time was as strong as ever.

The ride over was quiet, not for lack of anything to say, but most likely, they'd both been contemplating how the evening would go and were trying to be on their best behavior. He knew he was scared that the wrong thing might come flying out of his mouth and she probably felt the same way too. So, she just hummed along to whatever was playing on the radio as he fixated on getting them to their destination in one piece.

Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside the establishment and he had the car valet parked. He placed his hand in the middle of her back as he led her in and when she didn't recoil at his touch, he took that as a good sign.

The restaurant itself was spectacular. It had an elegant dining room, a 10-seat "chef's table", open kitchen and an adjoining bar at the back, but somehow was still strangely intimate. He'd asked for a table closer to the rear of the dining room, yet far enough away from the restrooms, in a spot that that would afford privacy, but still allow him to show her off. The hostess took their coats and had their waiter escort them to their table and once they reached the spot they'd selected, he found it to his liking as he thought it set the ambiance he'd hoped to create.

Their waiter, Anthony, offered them menus, but Jackson told them they would be having the tasting menu, making sure to double check with April because he didn't want to presume and after ordering their drinks, he focused all his attention back on her.

She was radiant, and it had nothing to do with pregnancy hormones. She had on very light makeup, barely a trace of eyeshadow or blush, but her lipstick was prominent. It was a bold red, in contrast to the softness of the color of her dress. She already had full, luscious lips, and the hue only made them appear more kissable.

"Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?" he said, knowing that he had, he just couldn't help but say it again.

Even though there was a touch of rouge on her skin, he could she her cheeks flush underneath, "Yes, Jackson, you did and thank you, again, but you don't have to keep complementing me. I want to be here. I want us to talk and I want us to have a nice time."

He grabbed hold of her hand as it lay across the table, "That's all I want too. I'm not afraid to tell you how much I want this April. You said you didn't want either of us to run, and I'm not running anymore. So, how do you want to do this? Do you want to dive right in? Get all our issues out in the open? The balls in your court. If you want-"

She put her hands out for him to stop, "Wait. Slow down. We don't have to rush into this. I know I said I wanted us to talk, but I wanted it to be more organic. We don't have to throw all our crap out on the table at once. Jackson, we've been apart for months, even before the divorce and we've both changed and grown within that span. I want to know about you and I want you to know about me. What were those months like for you? How did you cope? The discussion regarding our marriage issues will come. Let's just start with something new. Something neither of us know."

He considered her statement. Weighed the pros and cons of being truthful about what he'd been though and what he'd done since they'd been apart. He could lie, omit certain pieces of information, but in the end, he realized that it would be dishonest. If they wanted a fresh start, then they'd have to be frank, no matter how ugly the truth may be.

"Those months that we were apart, I was miserable," he began, "Stumbling around my house, consumed by the silence. Only wishing to hear your laugh, see your smile, feel your touch. I tried to keep myself occupied by finding a new hobby, hanging out with old friends from my basketball league, but nothing worked. I'd see you every day and all I wanted to do was talk to you. I fought those feelings, pretending to anyone who'd ask that I was over you, but I wasn't. Sitting at the divorce hearing, I wanted to tell you so badly that I wanted us to try again, but at that moment, I felt it was the right thing to do. Remember afterwards when I mentioned that we still had the joint cell phone bill and you offered to pay my share?" he asked.

She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Then I came back the second time and insisted that I pay because I _didn't' want there to be anything between us_. Saying that to you killed me and I know you don't believe me, but I put up a good front. I'd see you walking around, smiling, happy and I was sure that even though you tried to get me not to go through with the divorce, that you were glad that it happened. I was angry for so many reasons. More than I can even articulate but when I found out about the baby, I lost it. All I could think was, it's happening again. She lied to me and she's untrustworthy," he said, his head hanging low in shame at the thought he'd felt those things about her.

She cleared her throat, "Do you trust me now?"

Jackson didn't hesitate, "Implicitly."

"Why?" she probed.

"Because deep down, I know you didn't intend to hurt me," he answered. He reached out to touch her face but pulled back, "I tried so hard to fight my feelings, deny them, but I couldn't anymore. I told you how I felt when I saw you with Riggs and if it weren't for him, I'm not sure if I'd have said anything, but I'm glad it did happen. I'm glad that you're here with me now."

"Me too," she said, a small smile gracing her lips.

"So," he asked, "what about you? How did you cope?"

"I didn't. I mean, I was elated when I found out I was pregnant, but it was sad at the same time. I wanted to share the news with you, but I didn't want you to feel obligated. I was going to tell you Jackson, I swear I was. I just needed to find the right time. You were still so angry with me," she said, picking up her napkin and dabbing her eyes.

"Baby, don't cry. See this isn't what I wanted tonight to be," he declared.

She laughed, "Don't worry, it's not you, not really. It's mainly hormones. I seem to cry at the drop of a dime lately."

"Well, that's good to know because I never wanna make you cry again," he said, a serious look on his face.

Her eyes dried, he watched as she sat there silently, a pensive look on her face.

"Go ahead. Ask me," he said, speculating what she needed to know.

"Did you-" she began, but they were interrupted.

Their waiter placed their drinks down, "Here you are. A Black and Blue for you, madam, and for you sir, a whiskey neat. Your meals will be out shortly."

"Thank you," they said in unison.

"Yum, this is good," she stated as she took a sip of her virgin lemon flavored cocktail, licking the residue from her lips.

God, how he wanted to be the one to lick them for her he thought naughtily.

"So, you wanted to ask me something?" he continued, trying to refocus.

She blinked nervously, then blurted out, "Have you been dating anyone?"

Jackson let out a long breath, "Yes, I went on several dates. I actively avoided anyone from the hospital because I thought that would be too messy. There were three of them. A woman I met at Emerald City bar, one on my morning run and one at a coffee shop."

"Wow, you've been busy," she said, a hint of hurt in her voice.

"April, it wasn't like I was a man whore. I was trying to get over you and if I had to swath a path through some of the more eligible bachelorettes in the town, then so be it," he answered truthfully.

Her eyes darted down and he saw her swallow with difficulty, "Did you sleep with them?"

He nodded slowly, "Only one and I regretted it the minute I'd done it because all I could do was think about you."

Her eyes glistening, she bit her bottom lip, "Jackson, when you say things like that, I… I don't know how to respond. I mean, after this week and all the things you've said to me what if this doesn't work? What if we mess this up again?"

"We won't because I won't allow that to happen. I don't care what I have to do, we are going to make this work," he said with defiance.

As she was about to respond, their waiter, who seemed to have the worst timing ever, showed up with their food.

"Here you are, an amuse bouche of our finest selections. Spot prawn, truffled ricotta ravioli, torchon of foie gras, neah bay black cod and bbq'd skagit beef brisket. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, that's fine, thank you," Jackson stated.

The moment had passed so they dug into their meals, marveling over the rich fare and he couldn't help but snicker at her voracious appetite.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he bellowed as he watched her dip her prawn into piri-piri sauce, "that's really hot and you don't like spicy foods."

"I know I don't, but baby does," she said giggling, "I was out shopping about two weeks ago and stopped at El Camion, you know, the Mexican food truck, and I ordered this scrumptious looking fish taco dish they had displayed on the menu board. Not thinking that it'd already be dressed, I took a huge bite and my mouth was engulfed in flames. I mean, it wasn't bad, it just caught me off guard. Almost as soon as I swallowed it, the baby starting kicking. I thought the baby hated it, but when I didn't take another bite and the baby started kicking harder, I started eating again and it eventually calmed down. Now, every now and then, I'll awaken in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms the kicking are those spicy Death Rain Chipotle chips."

"Those are my favorite," he said happily.

"I know, you left a bag at the apartment. I guess our baby takes after it's daddy," she said, rubbing her belly with glee.

This time when he reached for her face, he didn't stop and petted her soft cheek, "I love you," he said, with no pretense. He saw her hesitate, "You don't have to say it back and I'm not trying to put you on the spot, but whether you like it or not, I'm going to tell you everyday from here on out how much I need you, care for you, want you and love you and our baby."

"It's not that Jackson, it's… if we are going to clear the air, then I have to be as honest with you and so far, you have been with me," she told him.

Jackson sat up straighter in his chair, in an attempt to prepare himself for what he hoped wasn't earth shattering news, "Okay. I'm listening."

She intertwined their fingers, "There were somethings I never told you and I'm still not certain I should, but if you're sure you want to be with me, then you need to hear this."

He saw her gulp before she hit him with her first bombshell, "When I initially went to Jordan, it did have something to do with you. I mean, yes, of course it was Samuel's death that spurred me to take on such a momentous undertaking, but every time that three-month period came when my tour was up, and I had to contend with the thought of returning to you, I couldn't do it."

His face fell, and he knew there was no way he could hide it from her.

"No, please, I need you to understand. It wasn't you, it was what I saw when I looked at you. Every time you called, every time I pictured you in my mind, every time I dreamt, it was of you and all I could see was Samuel's angelic little face. I couldn't return to you with that bearing on my conscious that somehow, I'd let you down. That it was my fault that Samuel died and that somewhere in the back of your mind, you blamed me too," she confessed.

Relaxing his demeanor, he swore to her, "I could never blame you, April. Samuel's death was not your fault and I'm touched that you confided in me how you felt. I can't say that I fully understand, but then it's not for me too. That was your test, we've both been through our own and for better or worse, it brought us here."

Now they were getting to the heart of the matter, he knew he had to know the rest, "And what about the second time?"

"I know you'll think it's silly, but I had to go back again. I felt like my job wasn't finished. It was God's calling and that tunnel collapse was the sign I needed," she said as if unburdening her soul.

He didn't know if she was waiting for him to scoff or make a joke, but he did neither. The time for mocking her principles had passed. He realized that they didn't have to agree on every subject with her for them to survive.

"I'm not going to pass judgment on you, April. You have your beliefs and if we are doing this, then I recognize that that's just not gonna change. We can compromise, come to an agreement on how we'll move forward in our relationship and how we'll raise our children," he said, hoping she picked up on the part where he mentioned them having more than one child.

"I'd like that," she said, and whether she took note of his intentional slip, she didn't react either positively or negatively.

Returning to their food, they concentrated on enjoying the remainder of their meal. Jackson knew they'd only touched the tip of the iceberg, but he wanted to lighten the mood. He didn't want the heaviness of the topics they'd begun to discuss to destroy the vibe.

"So, have you been thinking of any names for the baby?" he inquired.

"Yes, I have and no, before you even ask, Norbert is not in contention," she said, a playful look in her eye as she stifled a laugh.

He couldn't help but laugh aloud, "I wouldn't even suggest it. I've been thinking though, and I've come up with a few. How about Aubrey or Kiera if it's a girl, or Kayden or Durham if it's a boy."

"Well, the girl's names are cute, but I was hoping we'd find something more… meaningful. As for the others, I'm not partial to Kayden and Durham, I could be persuaded to use it as a middle, just like yours, but not as a first. It's almost as unique as Norbert," she said with a titter, "Besides, you never told me where that name comes from. Was it another uncle?" she asked.

"No, my mother actually named me after James Durham. He was the first recognized Black physician in the United States. He was born a slave in 1762 and taught by his masters howto read and write. He was owned by several doctors who used him to help perform medical procedures. Durham brought his freedom at the age of 21 and set up a practice in New Orleans and was heralded for his skills. He moved to Philadelphia eventually where his success continued but he had great restrictions put upon him. He disappeared in 1802 and sadly, that's the end of his story."

She viewed him with awe, "Wow, Jackson, that's amazing and that's exactly what I was talking about. I want our child's name to mean something."

"See, at least that's something we can agree on," he said smiling brightly.

They settled back into that old banter that existed between them when they were interns and a newly married couple. He felt they'd had enough of the heavy conversation for one evening, so he made sure to steer any further talk to light subjects.

They reminisced about Mercy West and Chief Resident Meyers who could have easily given Bailey a run for her money. About their first days with Meredith, Cristina, Alex and Izzie and what an absolute bunch of weirdos they thought they were. He ribbed her about her obsession with his mother before they got together, and she razzed him about his man crush on Mark Sloan, one in which he vehemently denied. They even had a good laugh about the time they had to operate on the girl with the torched-out stomach. Not her, so much, but her two dimwitted friends. The ones who clearly wouldn't have to worry about being asked to part of the Mensa Society.

Then he saw here expression alter and he wondered what he'd said wrong to effect such a change.

"What is it?" he asked, worried.

She chewed at the corner of her lower lip, "Jackson… I know it's all water under the bridge, but do you remember when I passed my boards and I reached out for a hug and you gave me a high-five? Why did you do that?"

Jackson leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table because he wanted his words to be heard clearly, "It's the same reason I couldn't be close to you after the divorce. I knew if I hugged you that day, then I would have kissed you, and if I'd kissed you, I never would have let you go."

A moment passed between them, the air electrified. He felt like his nerves were on fire and he was about to say something to her when their albatross, Anthony, interrupted them again.

"For dessert, we have Dinah's camembert which consists of lavender honey, sultana, candied pecan, parmesan shortbread and almond butter, then an almond financier which consists of crème fraiche ice cream, caramelized delic-"

Jackson held up his hand for him to stop talking, never taking his eyes from April as they gazed longingly at each other.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Yes, Jackson, take me home," she whispered seductively.

Without turning his head, he spoke to Anthony, "Check please."

On the ride back, he held her hand the entire way, including up until the walk to her front door.

Spinning around once she was inside, she addressed him, "I had a wonderful time, Jackson."

Standing on the opposite side of the threshold, he stated, "Yeah, me too."

"I'd really like to do this again. That is, if you want to," she asked, hopefully.

"There's nothing else I'd rather do," he said and moved closer until he was under the doorframe.

Last night, he didn't wait for her permission and pounced on her for a kiss. tonight, he wanted her to want it as much as he did.

"April, um… may I kiss you goodnight?" he asked.

He was overjoyed when she nodded with enthusiasm, "I'd like that."

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Even though he'd kissed her last night, this was an entirely dissimilar experience. Yesterday he'd caught her off guard, surprising her not only with his actions, but his words. Today, she welcomed him, and he was thrilled by her acceptance.

It started off chastely enough, but soon became heated. Jackson braced his hands at her waist, pecking at her lips ardently. He stepped nearer, and slid his palms further down her sides until they lay round her hips. Deepening the kiss, he took her bottom lip in his mouth and sucked on it with fervor. He tugged on it tenderly, remembering how much she liked it when he did that. Pushing his tongue out, without uttering a syllable, he asked for entrance and when she opened her mouth in approval, he lost all control.

Panting heavily through his nose, he nudged her backward into the apartment and slammed the door behind him with his foot. He unbelted her coat and unfastened the buttons. He crept higher and higher up her ribcage, his fingertips now grazing the swell of her breasts when she halted his movement.

"Jackson, we can't," she said, her own breath uneven.

"Mmm," he asked, his mouth still moving against hers, "why?"

She pushed gently, but firmly at his chest, "I don't want to move to fast. This is a fresh start for us and I don't want to rush it."

He reared back, "This isn't rushing it. I promise," he said, pushing her coat from her shoulders and tossing it on the chair near the window.

He pitched forward for another kiss, when she put a finger to his lips, "Jackson. No."

"Okay, okay," he said backing away and pecked her on the lips one last time, "I'd better call it a night then."

"Well, I didn't mean that you had to leave. It's not too late. I'm sure you can find a game to watch or we can just sit and talk," she said pleaded, grabbing hold of his hand.

He closed his eyes and let out a long breath through pursed lips, "I would really love that, but uh… I think it's best if I left right now."

Her face drooped so he quickly reassured her, "April believe me, this is not a bad thing. If I stayed here any longer, I can tell you, I may not be responsible for what happens next," he said with a chuckle.

She rolled her eyes at him. He'd never force himself upon her or any woman for that matter and she knew that. He suspected she also knew the reason why he was making a speedy exit, but if she didn't, all she'd have to do was tilt her head to see the beginnings of his hard-on.

Jackson cupped her chin and kissed her sweetly, "Goodnight, April."

"Goodnight, Jackson."

With a bounce in his step he left for home, a jaw aching smile plastered on his face.

The next morning, he woke up feeling rejuvenated, like a new man who felt that anything was possible, and he knew it had everything to do with April. He had an overwhelming urge to call or at least text her. Something, anything to let her know that she was on his mind, but he remembered her words from last night and he wasn't going to spoil the progress they'd made by pushing things.

He made his way into the hospital a half an hour earlier than he was scheduled. Alternating his usual routine of grabbing a coffee from the cart outside the south entrance, and entering through the ER, he hoped to see the one woman he had changed his route for. Scanning the area, he spotted his scarlet haired beauty instantly by the triage desk already hard at work.

Walking up behind her, he placed his hand on her lower back, "Morning."

She whipped around so quickly, her hair flitted in the breeze she created, "Hey," she said, as she looked around the space and discretely removed his arm, "What are you doing?"

"What are talking about? I'm saying hello," he answered innocently.

"Jackson, I thought we discussed this. We're taking this slow," she said in hushed tones.

Perplexed, he squinted at her, "Yes, I got that, but I'm confused, what am I doing that's so wrong?"

Her eyes widening, she motioned toward his arm, "Your hand was on my back."

"April, no one saw that and if they did, I'd doubt they'd care," he said trying to ease her anxiety.

"Jackson," she said in exasperation, her cheeks puffed out.

"Come here," he said, moving away from her and when she didn't shadow him, he gestured for her to follow with a wave.

Jackson walked ahead of her, around the corner and down the hall until they ended up in front of a supply room. He pushed the door open and beckoned her in. Before the door even closed all the way, he was on her.

His pelvis pressed against her backside, he clamped his mouth on her neck and nipped at her succulent flesh. He hovered over her, almost enveloping her within his hold, his fingers clasped together as they lay across her pregnant belly. He drank her in. The fragrance of her natural scent along with the perfumed body wash she used. The taste of her honey flavored skin. The feel of her smooth and delicate skin. He felt a great sense of pride when her body shuddered beneath his and the moan he elicited from her was enough to make his toes curl.

"Jack…son. Oh, God Jackson, please. Don't," she whined, pulling at his interlaced fingers.

Sighing, he released her, "April, you can't be worried about somebody seeing us in here. We're in a supply closet for fucks sake."

She whirled on him, "Don't do that. Don't get mad at me. That's not fair."

"So, what is it then?" he asked frustrated.

"I think we should keep this between you and I for now," she stated.

"What? Why?" he challenged her.

"Jackson, this is all very new for us. We still have a lot of things to work on, to talk about and involving other people in our relationship is just asking for trouble," she said earnestly.

"April," he said, drawing her name out slowly, "are you having reservations about us?"

He peered at her skeptically, fearing that she was doing what she'd promised she wouldn't. Run.

"No, of course not, Jackson," she implored.

Then an even worse thought came to mind, "Wait, are you ashamed for people to know we're back together?"

This time she didn't hold back her own irritation with him and wacked him against the head, "What? No, don't be stupid. Jackson, everything is coming together for us. Can't we just take some time to appreciate this for ourselves before we invite everyone else in. I mean, my parents, our family, friends and co-workers. Not to mention what your mother is going to say."

"My mother is on board," he said and couldn't help but grin as he saw the shocked look on her face.

"Uh, excuse me, what? Catherine knows about this and she's okay with it?" she asked, an amused grimace overtaking her expression.

"Little known fact, my mother adores you," he said with certainty.

She stood there, stunned, "Wow. I don't even know what to say to that."

"If it makes you feel any better, I had about the same reaction too," he assured her.

She leaned forward and traced patterns over his chest, "Jackson, I'm not trying to hide what we have. Can we just have it be the two of us for a little while longer? You know, like we did with our marriage bubble,"

He pulled her into a hug, "Listen, I understand what your saying and yes, if it'll make you happy, I'll do it for you."

Preparing to leave out before her so that she could sneak out undetected, his body jolted when she yanked on his arm. He waited for her to say something and just when he thought she'd changed her mind, she said those three magic words he'd been waiting for.

"Jackson, I love you."

He could barely contain his joy a she'd been yearning to hear those since he'd revealed them to her.

"I love you too, April."

He kissed her again, making sure to keep it chaste this time, "Why don't you head on out and I'll leave in a few."

"Okay," she said and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him goodbye.

He waited an acceptable amount of time before he left the supply closet. Taking out his cell, he was going to text her and suggest that they spend the evening together. Maybe he could head over to her place and bring dinner, or she could come over to his and he could put on a steak or cook some pasta. But, she said she wanted to take it slow, so he would adhere to her wishes. Besides, he'd be with her tomorrow night at their next Lamaze class, so he wouldn't have to wait too long before she was in his arms again.

Jackson whistled merrily as he headed up to the plastic surgery wing, a secret withheld that he wanted to yell out at the top of his lungs. April Kepner was his again and he was never letting her go.

He was going to have his family back. He was going to marry April again and give her the wedding she deserved. He was going to make a life for them. He hoped they were going to have lots and lots of babies to fill their happy home. They were going to balance their careers and personal lives while making time for their children. He was going to be the best husband and father her could be. They were going to make this work.

Everything was falling into place he thought blissfully as he strolled into his office.

For once, it seemed as if the sun was shining on them, besides, what could possibly go wrong?

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 7 title song – Just the Two of Us by Bill Withers**

 **James Durham was indeed the first recognized Black physician in the U.S. Look it up. It's very interesting.**

 **Art of the Table is in Seattle, Washington.**


	8. Anything

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… but I would love to be a script writer.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 8: Anything

Jackson glanced at April from across the emergency room floor as she blew back a wisp of hair that had fallen from the ponytail she'd had tied it in. She was working on a little girl who needed a cast put on and he couldn't help but marvel at her beauty. Oh, and it wasn't just that she was beautiful, she was smart, hard-working, skilled, funny, and extremely sexy. She was everything to him and he wanted to slap himself for taking so long to realize that she was the only one who could make him happy.

They'd been together for a month now, and every moment spent with her had been pure bliss. Now, that's not to say that they didn't have their disagreements, they did, but it was nothing like the arguments they used to have. During these instances, they spoke logically, giving pros and cons to get their viewpoints across. They were learning how to compromise and for once, they were communicating on a level they never had before. The main thing about their relationship that he didn't like was the fact that they were keeping it a secret. Oh, people knew that they had been on better terms and that Jackson was her official Lamaze coach. That in the past where they had been awkwardness and hostility when the two of them were in same room, now there was peace and tranquility. That they were respectful of each other and often shared their meals at the hospital and an outsider would presume they were making nice for the sake of their baby, but no one knew the complete truth. Not Nathan or Arizona. Not his mother. Not even her parents and she told them practically everything.

Sure, he had spoken with his mother about his feelings for April and the fact that he wanted her back and she had done the same with Arizona. But what they failed to mention was that they had reconciled and where actively making plans to move forward in their renewed relationship. There were conversations about her moving in, though April was stalling on exactly when that would be. He couldn't understand her hesitation about their potential cohabitation, but he wasn't going to push her. It's not like they hadn't done it before. They talked about getting remarried because he knew how important the idea of having their baby in wedlock was to her, but she told him they shouldn't worry about it right now, they had plenty of time.

About twice a week, they would spend the night at each other's places, but they still hadn't had sex. They engaged in what felt like hours of kissing until their lips were red and swollen. There was lots of groping and heavy petting. She'd even been gracious enough to give him hand jobs after their make out sessions led him to have uncomfortable yet raging hard-ons. He'd even _relieved_ her of some tension with a bit of nipple stimulation when her pregnancy hormones had gotten the best of her. But even with all that, there had been no actual penetration and right now, he was feeling the loss. These days he couldn't even look at her without getting horny and he wouldn't ever consider pressuring her, but he was a man and he had needs, dammit. He missed having sex with April, not only because she was great in bed, but it was a way in which they communicated. Whatever emotions they felt came out though their lovemaking. Whether it be wanton desire, vexation or relieving the tension from a stressful day, it connected them on a deeper level. But really, how long did she think he was going to wait?

Pfft, who was he fooling. For April, he'd wait forever.

He felt like it was all subterfuge though, and he'd be lying if he didn't say he was getting frustrated with the whole situation. Yes, he understood April's apprehension. She'd tried to get him to attend counseling and he quit. She'd asked him if he really wanted to break up and he divorced her and that was something one did not get over lightly. But at this stage, he'd hoped she'd gained enough trust in him to know that he would never give up on them again. He wanted his family, his friends, hell, the entire world to know. The Harper Avery Awards were coming up in a few weeks and he planned to ask her to officially be his date. He wanted April on his arm so that everyone knew they were once again a united front.

Focusing back on his patient, he carefully stitched up his facial laceration. It wasn't a bad cut and wasn't very deep and surely was something he could have had an intern handle, but he found he wanted to be in the ER increasingly just so he could spend time with her. No, they didn't interact every day, but just knowing she was in his vicinity helped assure him that they were real and not a diluted figment of his imagination.

Engrossed in his task, he was busy placing a sterile bandage on the wound when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Spinning around, a broad smile spread over his face, the apples of his cheeks darkening as she stepped in close to him.

"Hey, you almost finished here?" she asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, why?" he answered in kind, squinting his eyes at her in a playful manner.

She hit his shoulder, "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. There's something I want to talk to you about," she stated, her tone never increasing.

Jackson thought it was all a bit silly, so his volume rose slightly, but he never gave an indication as to what she was asking him in case ears were listening.

"Sure, that sounds great. I need to make a stop after work, but I can be there around seven. Is that all right?"

"That'll be perfect."

"Do you want me to pick up some dinner?"

Her face lit up, "Ooo, I've been craving pizza all morning. How about you get a double meat, double cheese, heavy on the garlic," she requested. Her head wobbling in anticipation.

"Double meat? Double cheese? Extra garlic? I thought you were trying to eat healthy?" he teased.

"I am. I had a bran muffin for breakfast and a cobb salad for lunch. So there," she said and stuck her tongue out at him.

If they weren't keeping their relationship on the down low, he would had leaned over and suckled her tongue right there in the middle of the emergency room. Damn etiquette and damn professionalism.

"Fine, I'll get you whatever you want, baby," he reached up to brush that same pesky strand of hair back when she politely pushed his hand away.

"Jackson, we talked about this. You can't keep doing things like that. Touching my face. Putting your hand on my back. Making bedroom eyes at me. People are starting to notice," she pleaded.

He tried not to show his irritation, but he was getting tired of this game.

"April," he said through sealed teeth, "no one is noticing because no one cares. Trust me, we are not the main topic of gossip in this hospital. I'm the head of plastics and a member of the board. We are not that interesting. Believe me."

She huffed in exasperation, "Okay, I'll back off on the complaining, but please, can we be discrete a little while longer," she asked sweetly.

"Okay, but I don't know how much more I can take," he said though his face showed none of his impatience with the situation. Besides, he could never really resist her doe eyes.

Simultaneously, their pagers chimed, and he looked down at the incoming message. An emergency meeting had been called for all surgical staff in the wing next to the main lobby by Chief Bailey. Jackson had no clue as to what this eluded to and was surprised he hadn't been given a heads up. Now, as chief, Bailey was in a senior management position, chief of staff and a voting member of the board. Jackson, as head of the board and majority owner of the hospital, oversaw the mission, vision, values as well as financial resources and where they were to be allocated. Often, their priorities collided but he had to confess, he was amazed that they worked so well together. Bailey had the tendency to be pig headed and he was known for being extremely stubborn on occasion, particularly when it came to hospital finances. So, to go in blind meant one of two things. Either an issue came up that needed their immediate attention, or she was about to expound about some new equipment or funding that she'd acquired. Oh, how she loved to go on about that.

"Any idea what this is about, Avery?" Chief Hunt asked as he strode over to their location.

"None at all," he answered honestly.

The emergency room wasn't very full, so they left a skeleton crew behind. They'd be close enough by if any real crises arose, but Hunt was confident in his personnel.

Jackson walked slightly ahead and to the right of April. He found himself doing that a lot these days. It wasn't because he was asserting his dominance, nor was it based on, in his opinion, an outdated custom in some societies. He simply did it so that she would avoid any obstacles in her path. If he had it his way, he would encase her in a protective bubble wrap and have her stick to administrative duties during this, her last trimester. Of course, there was no way in hell he'd mention it or even jokingly suggest this option. April was not one to be coddled and he knew, she intended to work until the day their baby arrived. She often said that Kepner's were built to have babies and they'd dropped them in fields, so expecting her to alter her plan would be like beating a dead horse.

Reaching their destination, he noticed how she kept him at arms-length distance as she stood off to the side, but he wasn't about to let her pretend that they hadn't arrived together and shuffled nearer to her spot.

He saw the usual faces. Those he knew only in passing and those he had a familiar association with. Webber, Grey, Karev, Robbins, Pierce, Torres, Riggs, and Shepard were sprinkled about the area while Warren, Wilson, Edwards, and DeLuca stood in a cluster along the fringe.

Climbing the stairs so she could see the awaiting group and frankly, so they could see her, Bailey cleared her throat loudly to gain their attention.

"Good afternoon, people. I know this is very short notice, but I've been alerted from our colleagues at Seattle Presbyterian hospital that they are going to have a forced shut down of their surgical unit tomorrow."

An audible groan could be heard as it traversed through the throng.

"Yes, yes, I know. Stop your belly aching," she continued, "They are having an issue with their oxygen tanks which means the bulk of their surgeries will be directed here. Those that are major, or minor will be scheduled to begin tomorrow afternoon. All our elective surgeries as well as theirs have been or will need to be cancelled. Several of their doctors and residents will pull shifts here and we will accommodate them in any way possible. I do not anticipate any problems as you will welcome them and provide them with any assistance they may require. They will report directly to section chiefs and new call schedules will be provided to you by the end of the business day. I suggest you get your sleep tonight, you're gonna need it."

She made to leave but stopped when no one moved. She gave them all a puzzled look as if to ask what they were doing.

"Don't just stand there. Disperse people," she ordered and marched her way through the pack.

Jackson turned to April with a thought in mind and was mentally preparing himself for what he assumed her answer would be but was going to ask it anyway. "Do you think maybe you should put in a request to book off early tomorrow? You know if you don't you're gonna be stuck here with the rest of us."

"You're kidding, right?" she questioned.

He was glad to see that her expression wasn't one of indignation at his query and she'd actually begun to smile, as her eyes crinkled, and her nose scrunched. He had to cross his arms to force himself not to reach out and cup her face. She was so freaking cute.

"No, I'm not," he said, his tone serious, but not demanding, "I only have your best interest at heart and you know that."

She bit the inside of her cheek, the one without the pronounced dimple.

"Tell you what. I'll keep it in consideration. Is that okay with you?"

He offered her a smirk before taking a step closer and brushing the back of his knuckle discretely against her nipple.

Eyes widening, and mouth open in shock, she stifled a laugh, "You didn't just do what I think you did. Did you?"

"Maybe," he answered cheekily.

"You brat!" she exclaimed.

"I love you," he mouthed to her, then he did something that never of them expected.

Whether the action was subconscious or not, he pitched forward and puckered his lips for a kiss and she absentmindedly returned the deed. It only took them a moment to realize their mistake as a hush fell over the crowd. All around them they heard gasps, murmured whispers, snickers, and a few grunts. The countenance on many of the faces included rolling and bulging eyeballs, slack jaws, hands over mouths and a knowing wink from Ben.

There was no escaping it now. The jig was up.

The silence was broken by Alex as a loud guffaw erupted from the back of the room.

"Ha. Avery and Kepner. I knew you two wouldn't be able to keep your filthy hands off each other."

April's face broke out in a brilliant shade of red, unable to hide her embarrassment. He lifted her chin with the same finger that so boldly grazed her teat.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked concerned.

He didn't know what to expect. Tears. Yelling. Anger. He even observed her body language. No stiffened jaw. No clinched fists. No hunched posture. What he got was resolute calm.

"I'm-I'm fine," she said as if startled by her own reaction.

"Are you sure, because you know I didn't do that on purpose, right? I would never force your hand," he said, earnestly.

This time, she did not hold back her affection and traced his forearm with her fingertips, "Jackson, you'd never do anything to hurt me."

That she said that meant the world to him and he made peace with her need for privacy, finally comprehending the reason for it all. It wasn't about being ashamed of them. It was about holding onto the memory of what they were before all their troubles began and what they could be.

He looped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her brow. As he was about to lead her off, Arizona grabbed hold of her and tugged.

"Can I borrow her for a minute?"

Not really asking as she pulled on April's lab coat pocket, all he could do was nod and wave a hasty goodbye. He could hear Arizona as they trailed, bombarding her with questions, babbling like a crazed idiot.

He was happy that she and Arizona had mended their friendship. April would be hard pressed to admit it, but she yearned female companionship. She had acquaintances like Meredith and Callie, but they didn't sit and talk and share confidences with one another. There were periods when they protected each other or watched the others back, but besties they were not. As for Amelia and Maggie, one was gruff and didn't seem to gel with anyone but her sisters and Stephanie, and the other one was quite odd. Alex could be counted on in a pinch and was more like the pain in the ass older brother and as for him, he was her best friend and always would be, but it wasn't the same. If he were being blunt, outside of Arizona, she had a tighter bond with Hunt and Nathan then any of the ladies they knew.

A hard slap on the back interrupted his thoughts and he craned his neck to meet Ben.

"My man," raising his arm for a fist bump, "see I told you."

"Told me what?" he inquired.

"About you and April?" Ben sucked his teeth, "When I was having those problems with Miranda and I said you understood because you had April and she was the love of your life. Then you said you and she were divorced. Then I told you, it's a waiting game, stay strong, you'll get there. Then you told me I was out of my damn mind."

Jackson was dumbfounded, "How do you even remember all that?"

"Priorities my brother. Priorities. I should have bet you money on that," he said as he moved on.

Jackson could only imagine what others were thinking. That he was stupid for getting back together with her or for ending it in the first place. That he was only doing it because she was pregnant. That he wouldn't be able to commit in the long run and the second she did something that upset him, he would break up with her.

Fuck em'. They didn't know him and the only one that mattered was April. The last thing he would ever do is allow someone to insert themselves in their relationship. Then it suddenly dawned on him that there was one person who continuously managed to include herself in parts of his life whether he wanted her to or not and she was unaware that he and April were dating and if she heard it from Webber, the bitching and complaining she'd rain down on him with would be maddening.

"Crap," he said aloud as he fumbled for his phone, "I gotta call my mom."

Four hours later, he was fiddling with a set of keys in one hand and a large pie in the other as he opened the door to April's apartment. He'd still had the keys he'd pilfered all those weeks ago and amazingly, she never questioned when or how he'd got them and he instinctively presumed she either forgot to ask or thought he'd swiped them off the hook within the last few days. He wasn't going to volunteer the information as to why he took them because he still had another plan up his sleeve.

He pushed the door open with his foot and hung the key back in its proper home. Spying her across the room, he chuckled as she scrambled to get off the couch. Her now sizable midsection caused her to move a tad bit slower and it wasn't as easy for her to rise from seated areas as gravity wasn't on her side.

"Oh my God, I'm starving," she uttered as she made her way to him. She still hadn't changed out of her work clothes, likely waiting on him to have dinner before she fully decompressed.

"That's smells so good. Did you get it from Pizzeria Credo?"

"Of course, I did and thin crust, just like you prefer," he said and laid the pizza on the dining table, "And how is my baby tonight?"

"Ugh, I'm so tired, I-" she began.

"Oh no, not you," he interjected, leaning down to speak to her belly, his hands rubbing it in a circular pattern, "this baby."

"Ha ha, very funny," she said and bopped him on the back of the head.

"Just kidding, sweetheart."

He moistened his lips before capturing her soft mouth. He could still taste the remnants of her cherry Chapstick as he slipped his tongue past her parted lips for a French kiss.

Coming up for some much-needed air, he hung his coat in the closet while she got dishes and two bottles of iced green tea.

Taking the seat to his right, they both dug in not realizing how hungry they actually were. He watched her as she chewed leisurely, savoring each bite, her eyes moving underneath shut lids.

"Mmm, this is so good. I miss pizza," she announced with glee, a string of cheese dangling between her teeth and the slice, "Ooo, baby's kicking, they like it too."

Jackson enjoyed watching her do mundane tasks. Eating food. Washing dishes. Brushing her hair. It was all so domestic and evoked feelings of comfort, safety and routine and this was what he wanted. To be with her no matter the what.

Having already eaten his share, he took a swig of his drink and waited until she finished a second piece before deviling into the subject he wanted to cover tonight.

"April?" he asked warily.

"Hum?"

"I wanna ask you something and I know I promised not to bring it up again so soon, but it's been on my mind."

She placed her half-eaten slice on the plate and straightened, giving him her undivided attention. "Okay."

"When do you think you'll be ready to move in with me?" he rushed out the sentence.

He hoped she would give him a reply but countered with her own statement, "Jackson, I think we should go to counseling."

Thrown by her announcement, his face maintained a state of neutrality. He wasn't sure what to say to her proposition as the words stuck in his throat.

"April, I… I don't think we need counseling. I thought we were doing better. We've been talking, working our issues out all by ourselves. I don't like the idea of spilling all my business out to someone I don't even know," he answered truthfully.

She sighed, "Jackson, I know it's a difficult decision, but I think it'll help us in the end. We never… we never got a chance to truly mourn Samuel as a couple and I've apologized for Jordan and for keeping my pregnancy a secret from you for all those weeks including a multitude of other things. This could be good for us."

"So, are you saying that if I don't go with you to see a therapist, you won't consider moving in?" his features drawn he waited in anticipation for her to respond.

"Don't get mad," she directed.

"I don't get mad. Dogs get mad, people get angry," he articulated, his face softening, "but I'm not that either. I'm listening."

She got up from the chair, "Come here you."

She cradled his head so that it rested on top of her belly and he wrapped his arms around her in return.

"Jackson, there are no more ultimatums in this relationship. I am not going to hold this over your head if you decide this is something you don't want to do. My choice to move in has no bearing on your decision," she tilted his jaw so that his bright blue-green eyes gazed into stormy hazel ones, "I love you and nothing is going to change that."

Jackson grasped her neck and pulled her in for a kiss, "I'm not saying no, but I promise I will put some serious thought into it."

"That's all I ask, and I promise you that I will have an answer for you soon about living together," she said and bussed the tip of his nose.

"Now," she said releasing herself from his grip, "I'm full and I am going to take a shower because I feel gross and bloated."

"You're not gross or bloated. You're just a little more filled out. It's sexy. Besides, I like you pregnant, your ass is fatter," he said but didn't mention that he'd thought the exact same thing not long ago.

She plucked his shoulder, "Hush you. You clean this up and I'll be out shortly."

"Need me to scrub your back?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"No, thank you. I can still wash myself just fine," she called out as she trekked down the hall to the bathroom.

Jackson cleaned up the mess form the table as he heard the water start in the other room. The thought of her in that hot, steamy shower sent a shiver down his spine. The glass of the stall fogging up as condensation fell in droplets offering glimpses of her milky white skin. Her vibrant naturally red hair slicked back as she lathered soap through the supple curls of her flower; as she liked to call it, and oh yes, the carpet did match the drapes, made him tremble. He had the wild idea to strip his clothes off and join her regardless of her denial. It had been seven months since he'd seen her in her birthday suit and he craved her.

Putting the plates in the dishwasher and after disposing the trash in the recycling bin, he kicked off his sneakers and placed them by the balcony door. He settled on the sofa and flipped on the television. There weren't any good games on, so he stopped on NBC and caught the beginning of _The Blacklist_. He'd seen the show several times but hadn't had a chance to catch up with the latest episodes. Besides, he dug James Spader, he thought he was a cool.

Often, late at night when he couldn't sleep because April wasn't in his bed to snuggle with, he'd binge some of his favorite shows like _The Blacklist, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad_ and _The Golden Girls_. Yeah, no one knew about that last one except April and he planned on keeping it that way.

He'd closed his eyes on a commercial break only to snap them open when he heard April reenter the room. She was wearing her thick, fluffy, aubergine colored robe with slippers to match. The robe dwarfed her, but she loved it.

He patted the spot next to him, "Sit, gorgeous."

"Stop that. I'm not gorgeous," she muttered.

"What in the hell are you talking about? You're stunning," he assured her.

"No, I'm short, average and the size of a small parade float. You. You're gorgeous. You're tall, fit, you have golden honeyed skin, a voice like silk, mesmerizing eyes and are incredibly handsome. Not to mention smart, rich, and powerful. You're perfect," she listed.

He sat catty-corner to her, "April, I'm not perfect and most of those things aren't attributes that mean a lot to regular people. You. You are gorgeous and brilliant and good and have a vivacious personality. Me? I'm flawed."

"Are you for real? Even your flaws are perfect. That subtle lisp you have that causes you to have trouble with s's. Your barely noticeable bow legs and pigeon toes," she shrugged one shoulder, "it's adorable. Why are you with me again?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

"Hey!" he bellowed, "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again. If you were standing with Angelia Jolie, Beyoncé, and Priyanka Chopra in the middle of this room, I would pick you each and every time."

She hugged him tight, "Thank you for that Jackson. Lately, you always seem to know what I need."

"I do," he said smugly, "and right now I think you need a foot rub. Go on. Sit back."

That, she couldn't argue with as she leaned against the arm of the couch, a throw pillow stuffed behind her back.

"Ugh, they are a bit swollen. Just look at my pudgy toes," she said as she wiggled them for effect.

"I love your pudgy toes," he claimed.

They found themselves engrossed in his show as he massaged her feet. He'd periodically look at them and smile. He wouldn't say he had a foot fetish in the classic terms, but it was something about her feet that turned him on. It was the shape and the size. It was how well maintained she kept them and how smooth they were. She always painted them a variety of colors from pinks to plums to nudes to shimmery metallic. When she wore sandals or flip flops, she'd sometimes adorn them with a ring or bedazzled jewels for fun. His favorite look was when they were painted a bold red or given a French manicure. Now he didn't want her to do anything weird with them like squash bananas and it wasn't everybody's bag, but he'd only done it to her.

It was early in their marriage and they had been fooling around in the tub. They were sitting opposite one another when he began caressing her feet, tickling the soles, and weaving his fingers through the dainty digits when he jokingly licked her toes and she let out the most salacious whimper he had ever heard. He thought her response caught them both by surprise but that didn't stop him from taking them in his mouth and sucking on them, his tongue darting along the pads until she came with a nearly soundless mewl.

Since that incident, they'd done it infrequently and only when they wanted to make their routine a little extra spicy.

The urge as strong as ever to hear that captivating sound again, he picked up one foot and started by licking the tips of her toes, moving his tongue back and forth gently. He heard her gasp and was encouraged to continue when she didn't halt his explorations. He kissed each phalange, making sure he never used his teeth as even a tender bite was unpleasant. He sucked them individually, harder each time she let loose a strangled moan and made sure to keep eye contact with her during the intimate act. She squirmed as best she could under her widened frame, the belt on her robe coming apart, giving him a sneak peek at what lay beneath. She wore a taut white camisole and hot pink spandex mini shorts and when she orgasmed minutes later, he knew this was one kink that would stay in their rotation.

"Oh, baby, that felt so good," she groaned.

He crawled on top of her, making sure not to put any weight on her belly, "Anything for you my love. I'd happily lick… you… every… where," he told her, punctuating each word with a smooch to her forehead, cheek, ear and lips.

Arms around his neck, she giggled uncontrollably as she kissed the corners of his mouth and as pleasurable as it was, feelings overwhelmed him, and he had to express them to her.

"April, we've been through so many trying moments. The hospital shooting. The plane crash. The bus explosion. Our elopement. Our divorce and worse of all, Samuel's passing and there is one thing I should have said to you the moment I found out you were pregnant instead of flying off the handle. April Kepner, I love you. Thank you for making me a daddy again."

Her eyes filled with tears and she shoved at his chest, "Excuse me a minute, I'll be right back."

He watched as she jogged off, worried that he'd somehow ruined things with her. He wasn't sure what he had said that was so bad, but if she needed to be by herself for a while, he would give her space.

He walked to the kitchen and took another bottle of green tea from the fridge. Swishing the around the first sip, he spit it into the sink. Even though April's feet were dirt-free, he felt the need to cleanse his mouth. He wasn't that strange were he would get turned on by sweaty feet and washed feet was the only way he would do it.

Passing back into the living room, he looked down the hall and saw that she had her bedroom door closed. He was about to go knock on her door but thought better of the idea. Parking himself back on the couch, he turned the volume down to listen out for her. He didn't hear any sobbing, so he deduced it wasn't as bad as he thought.

Ten minutes later her door opened but he kept his focus on the television. If he had upset her, she'd tell him. His brow began to sweat as no movement was made behind him until she cleared her throat and he spun around.

He let out a low whistle, "Fuck me!"

April was standing at the hall entryway and had on a red sheer baby doll maternity lingerie number. It split all the way up the middle to meet at the gold trim under her breast line with tiny red string bikini panties to match, her fiery ringlets fanned out around her.

"Well, that's what I want, but I wasn't going to say it like that," she said as she slowly started walking backward, "Make love to me Jackson."

Shit, you didn't have to tell him twice.

Taking the path of least resistance, he braced one hand on the back of the sofa and leapt over it. He was already undressing as he made his way to her room. Faltering as he slipped his leg out of his pants, those same jeans and his socks landing next to the second bedroom and his shirt tossed right outside her bedroom door and in no time flat, he found himself left only in his boxer briefs.

She stood on the side of the bed nearest the closet and tentatively reached out for his hand. Both kneeling on the bed, they shimmed their way closer to each other. He slid his hands to her hips and touched his forehead against hers.

"Sweetheart, are you sure you're ready? I'm not sure what I said that bothered you, but I'm sorry and I hope you're not doing this to make me happy. I'm willing to wait as long as you want," he swore to her.

A smile on her face, she ran a hand over his scalp, down to the nape of his neck, "You didn't say anything wrong. You said everything right. I don't know why, but I was scared. Not of you, but of us having sex while I was pregnant. After we found out about Samuel, we stopped, and I know it's not rational, but it made me worry. What if we did something wrong and it effected the baby? Now I realize how silly I was being. I'm not fragile. I'm strong. Stronger than I've been in my whole life. I feel it in my bones. I don't just want this. I need this. I need you."

Jackson could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Her words were sincere. It wasn't him she had reservations about and that small fear of doubt left his consciousness and right now what he wanted to do was make love to her all-night long.

Unhurriedly, they refamiliarized themselves with each other. He made sure to touch all the places she loved. He nibbled on her earlobe then lower to her neck and suckled her silky skin. He was sure he'd leave a hickey there and frankly, he didn't care if it was noticeable. He was claiming his woman tonight. Mind, body, and soul.

He unhooked the snap at the front of her negligee and her breasts fell free. He squeezed them gently, as he knew how sensitive they were these days. But when she demanded he grab them rougher, he didn't hold back. He took one hardened nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the areola. His other, he used his fingers to flick at the rosy bud.

"Oh, Jackson, you're making me so wet," she moaned.

"And I can't wait to taste you," he whispered to her, "I want to bury my face between your legs and never come up for air."

She stroked his rigid cock over the cloth material and he buzzed with anticipation as she electrified his senses. He licked between the valley of her bosom and could smell the sweet scent of her perfumed body lotion. He eased her onto her back and shimmed out of his drawers. He looped one finger under the strap on one shoulder and then the other and slid it off her arms.

Both naked as the day they were born, she gave him a faint nod letting him know there was no turning back now.

Starting from her eyelids, he kissed a deliberate path to her heated core. His lips brushed delicately over her creamy shoulders to her toned arms, stopping to nip at each fingertip. He stalled when he met the home where his seed had grown and in two months would give life to their creation.

His hands laid flat on her sides, he pressed his mouth to her middle, "I love you little one and I can't wait to meet you."

He continued and spread her slightly parted legs wider. Taking one of his digits, he dipped it inside her and pulled it out just as quickly sucking her juices from his finger. She was more than ready, and he wasn't going to tease her. He dove straight in, throwing her legs over his back. His mouth on her, he licked between her folds, whirling his tongue in compact circles, swiping over her clit every so often, delighted at how the pink bud engorged with each pass. She tried to wriggle away, the pleasure of the contact too much, but he held firm to her hips and was rewarded when she clinched her thighs around his head and came. Her essence flowing like a waterfall, he drank every drop.

He peeked up best he could to see over her stomach, thrilled by her flushed hue, heaving chest and shortened breaths.

"Are you okay, baby?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just… whew," was all she could say to him.

"That good, huh?" he wondered.

"Yeah, that good."

He moved to lay next to her.

"No, honey. It's your turn," she said bewitchingly.

He could just make out in the dim light how the thought of giving him head aroused her. Her pupils blown, he sat up on the edge of the bed. She gave him a bruising kiss, then took an elongated lick of his Adams apple, then over his pectorals and his six pack until she sunk onto her knees in front of him.

She held him snuggly in her closed fist and tickled the head of his dick, lapping up the precum that had escaped. She worked him just how he liked it. One hand twisting around his penis. One rolling his balls in the other and her mouth taking him in as far as she could go. The mixture of the heat from her mouth and the coolness of her saliva sent a most delicious burn straight to his groin. She bobbed on his impressive length and girth and he couldn't help but arch his back, his hands pressed behind him into the mattress.

He could feel his orgasm building and the only words he could use to describe his state was pure rapture.

"Baby, you are such a good kisser," he cried out.

She knew what he meant with the term and he preferred he use that one than to say she gave good head. Now wasn't about dirty talk. They could save those euphemisms for later.

She removed her lips from him and he panicked, thinking he'd said the wrong thing, again.

"I want you to cum inside me Jackson," she stated and offered no other explanation as she climbed on the bed and got on all fours.

Like déjà vu, he recalled it had been her favorite sex position during her first pregnancy, and they'd experimented a lot back then.

In her first trimester they'd done many of the usual positions, adding scissors and edge-of-couch missionary. Her second trimester they'd included doggy style, cowgirl and leap frog. Sadly, they never made it to the third trimester as Samuel was induced early.

Propping one of her pillows beneath her chest, she readied herself for him. He scooched up behind her and entered her swiftly. He had been so close to cumming only minutes before and he wasn't sure he'd last very long. But he wasn't bothered. She wouldn't hold it against him.

He scooped his hips so that his rear entry wasn't painful for her. He didn't want to slam into her; he had their child to think about. But when she started to order him to go harder and faster, he had to double check.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, Jackson. Please, I'm begging you," she pleaded.

She sounded confident and he wasn't going to deny her. He began pounding into her backside. Her ass cheeks bouncing after each contact. He couldn't take his eyes off her bottom; it was such an enticing picture. All he could think about was going back down on her. Licking from her pussy to her asshole. Her tortured, but gratified screams ringing in his ears.

"Am I hurting you, baby?" he asked.

"Harder, Jackson. Harder," was her only reply.

Granting her wish, he plowed into her with his full force. He held a tight on her waist, his head thrown back, mouth wide open, noiseless roars leaving him.

"Oh. I-I'm cumming baby. I'm cumming," she yelled.

"Oh, God baby. Me too," he hollered.

Climaxing simultaneously, they collapsed onto the bed, sated.

She laid her head on his chest, the backs of her fingers gliding over his muscular biceps.

"April?" his called out to her, his voice hoarse from all the shouting they'd done.

"Hum?"

She sounded as if she were drifting off to sleep and he didn't want to trouble her with nonsense. She deserved to rest after that performance. Frankly, he was tired too.

Several minutes passed and he thought she'd dropped off when she spoke, "I know you're not asleep. I can hear you thinking."

He scratched the stubble of his beard, "I wanted to ask you something, but now doesn't seem appropriate."

"Is there ever a right time?" she inquired.

"Probably not," he huffed then carried on, "The Harper Avery awards are in Boston in three weeks. By now, everyone at Grey Sloan knows our status and I told my mom, but I want everybody to know. My grandfather, my extended family, and the medical community. You might be hesitant to travel in your eighth month, but it'll be safe. We'll be fine. We'd take the family plane, so you wouldn't have to worry about getting a commercial flight. I'll pay for the dress, shoes, and anything else you may need. We could even make a long weekend out of it. If you don't want to stay at the family estate, we could always get a suite at the Four Seasons or the Boston Harbor Hotel."

He knew he was rambling, but April made him anxious and no woman had ever been able to do that to him before.

The longer she stayed quiet, the more uneasy he became. Unable to take the silence any more, he began to say something when she spoke.

"Jackson," she said, pausing for effect, "let's go to Boston."

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 8 song title – Anything by SWV**

 **April's lingerie is from Nestling & Co. and is called Pregnancy Lingerie Glam in Gold. **


	9. Just Give Me A Reason

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… what do I have to do, beg?**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 9: Just Give Me A Reason

It was four days before the Harper Avery Awards Gala and she was exhausted. The last two weeks she and Jackson had been inundated with a variety of requests and she felt akin to what Bilbo Baggins said in the _Fellowship of the Ring_ when he spoke to Gandalf; 'I feel thin, stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread'.

Now that everyone knew they were officially a couple, any plans that included him, now included her. It also seemed that Jackson wanted her around twenty-four seven. Not that she was complaining. On the occasions they didn't spend the night at each other's houses, he made sure that they at least met up to do something else. Lately, he'd surprised her with nights out on the town, weekend excursions and little gifts whether they be flowers for her or trinkets for the baby. Over the last month in addition to their Lamaze class, there had been fancy dinners, dates to the movies and the theatre, Saturday trips to the museum and Sunday walks in the park. He seemed to want to spend every waking moment with her and she reviled in his attentiveness.

Then, there were reminders to meet for lunch from Meredith and Alex, and while not unusual, they certainly were more frequent these days. It's not that they weren't her friends, but she knew they were all closer to Jackson then they were to her and quite honestly, she didn't need to be anyone's consolation prize. Over the years, she had learned to take much of their mocking on the chin and now that she was with Jackson again they didn't bother to mess with her, even though she could take care of herself. Besides, she was tougher than she looked.

Then, there was Catherine who had been pulling triple duty with her responsibilities at the foundation, her job at Brigham and Women's Hospital and overseeing preparations for the gala. She had enlisted Jackson for help with some of the final details and he in turn had asked her for advice on everything from music selection, to food choice and table arrangements. She knew that all these decisions had essentially been finalized, but she was touched that he wanted to include her. And much to her shock, Catherine had also arranged to take her out for a day on the town to buy a gown along with accessories and for a spa treatment the day before the big event. This was certainly a departure from their normal relationship as former mentor and mentee and even mother and daughter-in-law.

When she and Jackson were only friends, Catherine had willingly given her guidance not only regarding her career but even offering sexual advice even though it was unwarranted. During the period of her marriage to Jackson, she was considerate and kind, letting her see a side that few had. While going through their ugly separation and divorce, she naturally clung to Jackson while her version of events proved to be of no concern to her. And though she couldn't overlook the period in which she aided him in attempting to take custody of their unborn child, there had been a grave departure in her attitude from then to now and she knew that in deep her heart, Catherine believed she was helping. And to top it all off, Catherine had actually apologized to her and Catherine rarely apologized to anyone. She said she wanted them to start off on a new page and that she regretted the part she played in Jackson's and her affairs and promised never to interfere in their relationship again.

Bless her heart, like she was gonna believe that.

She said she'd always liked me and that she was only trying to protect her son. I guess I could understand where she was coming from, but I would never in my life do what she had done. So, in an attempt to mend fences, and because I knew it would mean a lot to Jackson, they had plans to get together the morning after she and Jackson arrived in Boston.

As far as Jackson and her where concerned, they'd steadily continued to attend their Lamaze classes and the other participants have taken note of their changed status and begun discreetly asking questions. This was the same treatment they'd received at work and though she expected it from her friends and colleagues, people she barely talked to outside of professional inquires, had no right to delve into their business.

At work, her schedule hadn't changed, much to Jackson's chagrin. He felt that she'd been pushing herself too hard and asked her to either cut back on her hours or the number of surgeries she performed. They got into a spat about it and she told him that as much as she loved him, he was not allowed to dictate when and for how long she chose to work. She assured him that she was doing everything within her power to keep their baby safe as she knew it is a concern of his because it was a concern of hers as well. Though they never spoke it aloud, the thought was always in the back of their minds that something could go wrong.

As for their other issues, things had taken a decidedly interesting turn, and everything had been going smoothly so far. She'd been spending more nights over at his place and their sex life had amped up considerably, thank God. She didn't know why she had waited so long to give in, but she was more than pleased that they had been making up for lost time.

But the best news of all was that after the conversation they had about her moving in and her suggestion that we go to couple's therapy, three days after he basically blew off the idea, he told her he'd be willing to give it a try. She clarified that this still didn't mean that she was ready for them to cohabitate and he said he was clear on that point. That this wasn't an attempt to manipulate her or her feelings and he really wanted to try harder this time. She was touched by his honesty, so she set out to find a therapist who one, could work within their busy schedules, two had no affiliation with Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital and three had the credentials and a good reputation in helping divorced couples who were reconciling to move forward healthily and deal with deeper issues. She'd momentarily considered asking Arizona for the therapists name she and Callie had seen, but considering the outcome of their marriage, the thought of using her didn't fill her with hope.

So, she dedicated time to do some in-depth research and she believed she found the right one for them and after discussing it with Jackson, they chose Dr. Sheila Abbott, LCPC and PhD. Sheila; as she insisted they call her, had been practicing for over twelve years and her credentials were excellent. She specialized in trauma, grief, parenting, depression, stress, and anxiety. All topics which had touched either her or Jackson individually and as a couple and that next morning, she called Dr. Abbott, made an appointment for them and they'd their first meeting last week.

The first session was chiefly a met and greet. She wanted to know all about them. What caused them to seek out counseling and what they expected to gain from it. April did most of the talking and though Jackson was supportive and held her hand the entire time, he appeared guarded as he sat with his shoulders straight and his lips pressed into a thin line.

She gave her a brief synopsis of their association; when and how they met, became friends, then ultimately best friends due to a shooting and death of their friends. She talked about their sexual history, leaving out the graphic details, their pregnancy scare, and subsequent breakup, even though they'd never classifed what type of relationship they had. Then she briefly delved into their elopement, marriage, pregnancy, Samuel's death, her pilgrimage to Jordan; both times, the divorce, near custody battle and now their reconciliation. She presented it all in a very formulaic manner as if she were reading it off a check list or a patient's chart. She did this purposefully because she wanted to distance herself from her feelings. She didn't want to sway the doctor's opinions of their tumultuous relationship or make it seem as if one of them was more at fault than the other. She wanted this to be a fresh start, so to speak. A place where they could leave their anger, doubts, and vulnerabilities behind. In addition to the initial meeting, they'd both had phone calls arranged to speak with Sheila separately about any other issues they wanted her to touch upon but felt uncomfortable bringing up in front of the other.

Tonight, was to be their second session and she hoped that Jackson would open up more. She could tell by his body language that he found it uncomfortable and even though they had tried counselling once before, she knew this time he was putting forth more effort. Jackson wasn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve so for him to show his insecurities not only to her, but to someone they didn't know was a big step. So, she finished her patient charting, headed for the third floor attendings locker room to change into her street clothes then left for the lobby to wait for Jackson.

Tapping her foot impatiently on the carpeted floor, she looked at her watch for the umpteenth time and grumbled to herself, "Where is that man?" she wondered.

She didn't want to be late and set a bad precedent. She hated being late and also, she was afraid the doctor might think they were taking this seriously if they couldn't manage to meet her at the scheduled time. And just as she was about to call him and ask what was taking him so long, he appeared before her, short of breath, apologies at the ready.

"Babe, I'm so sorry," he said, "I got caught up with a patient and lost track of time."

He leaned in and kissed the top of her head and she forgot all about being mad at him as she melted at the gesture.

"It's okay, if we hurry, we'll make it," she assured him as she took him by the hand and led him out to the car.

April noticed that he was quiet the ride over and she hoped it wasn't an indication of the level of participation he intended on maintaining at the therapist's office. Though it troubled her, she chose not to say anything about it in fear that her acknowledgement would upset him.

With minutes to spare, they arrived at Pioneer building and rode up to the tenth floor where they were ushered in by the receptionist to begin their hourly session.

"Good evening, April, Jackson," Sheila began.

"Good evening," they responded simultaneously.

Sheila, placed her glasses on the bridge of her nose and hands clasped, bent forward at the waist in what April recognized as an attempt to put them at ease.

"I'm pleased that you've both decided to continue with these sessions and I look forward to helping you heal. I have gone over my notes from our last meeting to include the individual talks I've had with each of you and tonight what I'd like for you to do is get a better understanding of each other," she paused and when neither of us balked at her suggestion, she continued.

"Jackson," she said, focusing on him, "I'd like to start with you. Last week I noticed that you were reserved, allowing April to take the lead and I feel that's not your typical response to situations. When we spoke on the phone the next day, you were very candid. Can you tell me how your thoughts about our session with the two of you?"

Jackson leaned back against the loveseat, crossed him arms and his feet at the ankles. Worried that this was a bad sign as to how the evening would go, April was surprised when he began.

"I think it went well and I'd say there's some truth to your assessment. I think that April gave an accurate account of our relationship and I didn't feel the need to interrupt or contradict any of the statements she made," he said.

She took note of his tone and though it wasn't blithesome, it was far from hostile.

"Okay, then. We can work with that. And April, what are your thoughts about what occurred last week?"

She hesitated for a moment, not sure if what she was about to say would anger Jackson, but she was going to jump into therapy with both feet.

"I'm positive about where I believe our relationship will go and even though Jackson and I have spoken about our problems recently, I value the opinion of an outside party, but," she said, and waited a beat before dropping a bombshell, "we've each been looking at this through rose colored glasses, thinking that we are better than we actually are."

She turned her head slightly to view him and wasn't surprised to see that a frown now marred his features.

This was the first he'd heard of her misgivings and the only reason she hadn't discussed them with him prior was because of her fear that it would initiate an argument. This was the forum where they could speak freely in a controlled environment and she planned to take full advantage of that.

"I'm glad you mentioned that April," Sheila offered in concert, "I notated that while you gave me a rundown of your issues, it felt very, distant, as if you didn't want to take a responsibility for your choices or place any blame. What I want is for the two of you to be open not just with me, but with each other or this isn't going to work. I am going to be asking a lot of tough questions and delve into places you probably don't want to go, but it is imperative that we take this journey if you two are going to be successful during this reconciliation phase and what I assume is to be your eventual remarriage?"

They both nodded earnestly in agreement and though she hadn't voiced it, nor had he given any indication that he felt differently, she was relieved that he still felt the same.

"Good, then how about we get started," she said with a friendly smile, "April, I'd like you to face Jackson and tell me what it is you like about him."

She shifted as best she could as he mirrored her actions.

"Well, I like that he is so confident. I know that he's an Avery," she said with a stilted laugh, "but he doesn't take his lineage for granted. He knows the man that he is and isn't afraid to show the world that he and he alone got himself to where he is now. Sure, the name has helped, but he prevailed when the doubters didn't think he would make it through medical school. He prevailed when he lost confidence in his abilities as a cardiothoracic surgeon but found his calling in plastics. He prevailed when everyone mistrusted and questioned whether the grandson of Harper Avery could make it as the head of Grey Sloan and would only be a mouthpiece for his mother, grandfather and the foundation. Jackson is brilliant and has a mind of his own and that's one of the things I like about him most. He's creative and has improvised during several complicated surgeries and let me tell you that is not an easy feat. I like that he is outspoken in his criticism when he sees wrong being done and speaks up for those that don't have a voice. He is tolerant of all people no matter their race, background, sexual orientation, or station in life. I like that he is strong, and I don't just mean physically," she said as her cheeks flushed, "he speaks his mind and doesn't hold back his opinions. I like that even though he knows he is extremely handsome, he doesn't rely on his looks to get by and proves time and again that he isn't just a pretty face. I like that when we're amongst our friends or in a crowd of people we don't know, he's not afraid to be affectionate with me. I like that in those moments when it's just he and I, he communicates to me how he feels without saying a word. Whether it be the way he strokes my hair or the back of my hand, it conveys a message that I am all he is thinking about."

She noticed that his posture relaxed as the tenseness in his arms loosened and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Jackson," Sheila said addressing him, "tell me what it is you like about April."

He cleared his throat and started into her eyes.

"I like that she is resilient. She's had many setbacks in her life, but she's refused to let them hold her down or deter her from reaching her goal. I like that she is kind. I know that her personality may not be partial to some as she's been told that she is too perky, even annoying and in the very beginnings of our acquaintance, I admit to falling prey to and contributing to the negative behavior, but regardless of the treatment she's received, she always looks at the bright side and for the good in people, willingly lending a hand to those in need without being asked. She's good to her family, her friends, her patients and especially to me. I like that she has a code and though it has caused disagreements between us, she is steadfast in her beliefs and I cannot fault her for that. I like that she's smart and uses her talents to not only to her benefit, but the benefit of others. Her ability to organize has led to the creation of a checklist for emergency room procedures and patient care which is in use today at Grey Sloan and is being implemented at various Harper Avery foundation facilities around the country. And of course," he said and chuckled, "I like that she's gorgeous. I know she doesn't believe it, but to me, she is the most beautiful thing in the world."

She blushed furiously at his admission and taking his now outstretched hand, curled her fingers into his. They gazed at one another, almost oblivious to the fact that they had an audience to witness their blatant flirting.

"April, Jackson, that was wonderful. The sincerity that you both conveyed shows me that you want to do the work, but now, I want to dig a little deeper and this time, instead of using he or she, I'd like you to use first names. Now, April, if we'll start with you again. Can you tell me what it is that you don't like about Jackson?"

April blinked hard and frowned at her. It wasn't as if she hadn't expected them to talk about their problems, but to be honest and list their faults was going to be hard for him as well as her she suspected.

"Also," Sheila continued, I want you to remain looking at Jackson. I know that no one wants to hear what it is about themselves that their partner dislikes, but this is important, and I want you both fully engaged in this process."

Anxious at where these confessions could lead them, she shook her head in acknowledgement and reluctantly started.

"I don't like that while Jackson is tolerant of many things, he thinks that my belief in God is ridiculous. I know that he is an atheist and while I disagree with his stance, he has made it clear to me in the past that he judges me and is dismissive and it concerns me as to what faith we're going to raise our children. I don't like that in the past Jackson hasn't told me how he's felt about us and leaves it to me to figure it out. For example, I know that you're bothered by the fact that I won't give you an answer on when I'll be moving in and I know that I angers you, no matter how hard you try to disguise it. But I do know that he has made great strides in changing that behavior as of late and I'm happy because I don't want us to fall back into that trap where we don't tell each other how we really think and feel. I don't like that Jackson gave up on us. I know I've made mistakes, we both did, but I tried to work it out, explain to him that I was broken and that's why I had to leave, and I think he still believes, even if it is in some small part of him, that I left solely because of him."

Head bowed, she peered at him though eyelashes only to be met with a stony expression.

"Jackson?" Sheila said, addressing him.

He let out a rushed breath, but kept his eyes focused on her.

"I don't like that April discounts my beliefs, and they are beliefs contrary to her refusal accept it. I do not believe in the existence of God or any higher being and my principles aren't going to change. As a man of science, I find it inconceivable that there are those in our field that still conform to the credence of this theory even with scientific evidence staring them in the face. I don't like that April discounted my feelings for her in the beginning of our relationship. I-"

"Jackson," she interjected, only to be warned by Sheila.

"April, please do not interrupt. You had your turn and Jackson was patient with what you had to say. I ask that you allow him the same courtesy."

Admonished, she clenched her jaw which had gone slack and gave him her undivided attention.

"Jackson, please continue," Sheila encouraged.

"I don't like that April made light of how I felt about her and though I know it was a coping mechanism, it was painful nonetheless," he resumed, his voice level and controlled, "I don't like that April has the tendency to freak out. She says that I'm not upfront with what I'm feeling, and I say she's the same way. I don't like that April's first instinct is to run away. It may not always be physically, but she runs. She ran when we found out that she wasn't pregnant the first time, thanking God that she didn't have to marry me. She ran back to Matthew after she confessied that she wanted to be with me, so I had no reason to believe that her admission was indeed true. She ran after Samuel died across the world and left me to grieve on my own, not once, but twice and if you want me to be honest," he began, a look of shame on his face, "I'm fearful that if another tragedy befalls us, she'll run again. I don't like that April lied to me for weeks about being pregnant and for failing to tell me the morning of the divorce hearing. I know that this is all hindsight, but maybe we could have made it work back then. I don't like that other people knew before I did and that it took one of her friends to tell me about it. I don't like that April… I don't like that April still is hesitant to move in with me. It's almost as if she doesn't have faith that we will succeed as a couple," he said as he turned his attention back to Sheila, "That's all."

As he had continued to rattle off the things that he disapproved of about her, April shrank into herself. Hands folded neatly in her lap, she concentrated hard as tears pricked the back of her eyes.

In the weeks that they had been talking, why hadn't he told her all these himself. But who was she kidding, she'd failed to do the same as well.

Sheila closed the notebook she had been writing in, "I know that was hard for you both, but I thank you for your candor. Now what's I'd like to do with you is share my thoughts."

As she gave her summation about what each of them had said, April found herself regressing further. She knew it was wrong, but she tuned out much of what the Sheila had to said. She felt like a hole had opened inside her and all her faults were left exposed and laid bare. Memories of when she was younger bombarded her. The humiliations she suffered, the loneliness she endured, her insecurities and the fear that she would never be good enough.

Sheila's raised voice alerted her that the session had come to an end and frankly she needed to be away from this space. She felt like she couldn't breathe and planted her hand on the chair arm for support, then using her other hand, she cradled her belly. Offering Sheila, a hasty goodbye, she preceded Jackson out the door and toward the parking lot.

The car ride back to Jackson's place was uncomfortable and spent in relative silence. The only thing that broke the monotony was the sounds of Maroon 5 singing _She Will Be Loved_ on the radio.

Staring out the window at the passing traffic during the twenty-minute ride home, April realized how deeply she had hurt him and she was thankful that the damage wasn't irreparable. The things he confessed. The resolute tone of his voice. When she put everything he'd said in context, hell she might have divorced her too. She didn't want to compare hurts but how could she not see it from his perspective and be regretful of the suffering she'd caused him.

She was shaken from her retention and given reprieve when Jackson reached across the center console and took her hand. She noticed they were stopped at a red light and he had turned his head to face her. Hand clutched tight in his, she smiled though the expression did not travel to her eyes.

"Babe, are you alright?" he asked concerned. "You know I was apprehensive about doing this and I'm not one hundred percent comfortable with airing our dirty laundry to strangers, so you can't be mad when I follow instructions and do what is asked."

"I'm not mad Jackson," she assured him, "I'm just thinking is all."

A car honked behind them that alerted them the light had changed to green and Jackson stepped on the gas propelling the car forward.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, and she could hear the apprehension even as he tried to hide it.

She petted his hand in reassurance then released her grip, "Yes, I'm sure."

Seemingly satisfied with her answer, he moved his hand to her stomach and as expected, the baby kicked. She was always amazed that Jackson could warrant such a reaction with just a simple touch. Whatever the sex of this baby, they already knew, daddy was a favorite.

"Hey, how about we get something on the way in," he asked in what she presumed was an attempt to alleviate the tension that radiated throughout the car.

"That sounds great. I'm starved," she replied, eyes once again on the road.

He was right, it was too late to cook anyway, so they picked up a chicken souvlaki for him and lemon sole with rice pilaf for her from Omega Ouzeri for dinner and by the time they got their order and arrived home, it was close to eight o'clock.

Worn out mentally, physically as well as emotionally from the day, once she stepped over the threshold, she immediately went to his bedroom and changed into her pajamas. She'd been given a drawer, just as he had at her apartment and she noticed that every time she stayed over, the space he provided for her expanded. First it was one drawer, then two, a portion of his closet had one side of his clothing pushed to one end, and a shelf in the bathroom medicine cabinet had been cleared just for her.

She wasn't stupid. She knew what he was doing but she still couldn't understand her hesitancy. He was giving her what she wanted. He'd kept their relationship a secret from family and friends for over a month. He didn't pester her when she told him she wanted to wait for them to renew their sexual union. He had been more than accommodating of her emotional state as it was more prone to mood swings during her pregnancy. He'd kept his temper in check and she didn't want to make it seem that he had anger issues, but he hadn't been quick to jump to conclusions when she disagreed with him.

Perhaps what he'd said in their session was true. Maybe her refusal to move in was just another example of her running.

Checking her reflection in the mirror, she schooled her expression so that she didn't appear so dour. Even though her mood had tanked, she didn't want to show that to him. She didn't want him to feel guilty, he didn't deserve it and he was right, he had only done what the therapist asked and if he couldn't be honest in there with her, then there was no chance they would work out and ultimately would be doomed.

She reentered the living room and saw that he had set out their food on the coffee table. An extra plush pillow had been placed against the back of the couch in the spot next to him and she couldn't help but smile at the gesture. Lately she'd been complaining of lower back pain and though it was nothing to worry about, he'd been always there to fluff her pillows or massage her sore muscles. But what did she expect, she was well into her eighth month and getting up and down had become harder these days.

Over dinner she picked at her food, the hunger she felt earlier abated her but as usual, Jackson ate with vigor. He'd found a game on tv that captured his attention so the roller coaster of emotions she was riding went unnoticed. It didn't bother her. She knew he wasn't ignoring her, so she took the time to stay lost in her thoughts.

Every so often, she would glance at him and smile at his childlike enthusiasm as he concentrated on the gameplay. Usually they'd engage in chit chat throughout the quarters, but tonight there was none of their usual banter. She knew it was because she had all but checked out so feigning tiredness, she kissed him goodnight and went to bed.

She crawled under the covers and watched the ceiling above her and it was as empty as she felt inside. In an effort to feel something, anything, she shut her lids tight until swirled patterns and stars dotted her vision. All that managed to do was make her dizzy so she with some effort, she rotated to her side and silently wept, not wanting to alert Jackson of her despair. She wanted it to work between them. She wanted him to be open with her. She couldn't fault him for baring his soul and for that she loved him even more. She just hoped her insistence to attend counseling wasn't a mistake that would around and smack her in the face.

Her thoughts muddling together, she had begun to doze off, halfway between alertness and a waking dream when she felt the opposite side of the bed dip low, signaling that he had joined her. First, she heard the lamp click as he adjusted it to its lowest setting and then felt the sheet and blanket lift as he climbed in and snuggled next to her. He wrapped one arm around her waist, his other braced so that his elbow was planted on the pillow and his chin rested on his balled-up fist.

"April," he whispered to her.

"Huh," she answered as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"I know you're not okay. You barely talked to me after counseling. You didn't touch your food even though you said you were hungry. Then you went to bed early. Baby, don't hide from me. Talk to me. Please, let me in," he begged.

She sighed and rolled so that she was on her back and with the dim lighting, she could make out his countenance.

Looking into his loving eyes, her walls broke down. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as the tears flowed unchecked and her body shuddered uncontrollably as he tried to hold her steady.

"Hey, hey, hey. Tell me what's wrong?"

"I-I," she stammered, "I'm sorry, Jackson. I'm so, so sorry."

Through her hiccupped sniffles she could hear his confusion, "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For… for leaving you. For not telling you about the baby. For hurting you time and time again. For not telling you how I felt. For making you hate me for so long," she replied as she collapsed into racking sobs.

"April, look at me," he ordered as he cradled her face in his open palms, "we're putting all that behind us. We're moving forward and making things better. We're going to work with our therapist and each other so that we're stronger individually and as a couple. And for the record, I never hated you. Yes, I was angry and confused, but hate? Never. We both made a lot of mistakes. I loved you then. I love you know and I'll love your forever."

He used his thumb to wipe the tears from her face and she stared into his eyes and read the look reflected back at her. He didn't hate her. He had forgiven her for past transgressions. He would be by her side until the end and as if to prove the thoughts he was trying to convey to her nonverbally were true, he made a vow.

"I love you April Kepner. Let me show you."

He turned off the lamp and removed his clothing. His is tawny bronzed muscles flexing with each calculated move she watched him hypnotically. The moonlight shining though the slats in the blinds, he signaled for her to remove her loungewear, pulling her from her dazed state. She sat on the edge of the bed and took off the pajamas she'd only put on in what only felt like mere minutes ago.

Both naked, he crossed over to her so that he stood in front of her. He nudged her shoulder gently and without words, she knew exactly what he wanted. Over the last two weeks, they had tried various sexual positions that would provide comfort to her during her advanced state and after trial and error; some painful, some comical, and some just plain weird, they found this to be one of their favorites.

April lay back on the bed and spun so that she was horizontal to the length of his king-sized bed. Knees bent and head hanging off the edge, she opened her mouth wide as he placed the head of his cock against her pouty lips. She grasped hold of his shaft, her grip tight and pumped him as she guided him into her warm, wet mouth. Precum seeping from the slit, she lapped it up, mixing it with her saliva to create a glorious mess. Her wrist rotating, twisting his smooth massive length against her soft palm, she hummed knowing that the vibrations would drive him crazy as the proof of his pleasured groans egged her on.

Releasing him from her mouth with a pop and licked from base to tip the now visible vein that became more pronounced the harder he became. Not wanting to leave her unsatisfied, he stretched his hand out and rubbed over the rise of her pregnant belly until he reached her silky mound. He parted the hairs with nimble fingers and dipped them in one by one soaking the digits, reveling in the sloshing sound it made if his lustful moans were any indication. She knew she would be wet. She always was nowadays. Just one look with his lecherous gaze from across the room had her panties soaked. When engaging in a sexual act it was helped her lubricate herself but proved inconvenient and problematic when it occurred in the middle of the workday.

Pitching his hips slowly back and forward as she took him in inch by delicious inch, she spread her mouth and her legs wider, so she could accommodate more of him. She found that if she were on her knees giving him head, she couldn't go down on him as far as she could position. Now, as he fucked her mouth, her throat muscles relaxed as the angled state allowed for greater penetration.

As she took him, he, plunged his pointer and middle fingers further into her pussy, scissoring them and she crooned in delight as they bounced against her. He toyed with her, hooking one finger until he found the elusive g-spot causing her to squeeze her thighs around his hand in response to his frenzied movements. His thumb rubbing furiously at her clit, the knuckles in her toes cracked as she curled and uncurled them. They gratified each other for what felt like hours, stoking the fires within until the flames grew higher and backing off until they were almost doused then building upon them again.

She grabbed hold of his ass with her free hand as his uneven breaths signaled to her he was about to reach an orgasm, her own climax not far behind. She slid his cock out and sucked on his balls that were now so engorged and tight. As she rolled them around and tickled them with her tongue, she couldn't fathom how he'd managed to hold back his release for so long.

"Oh, God, baby. Yeah, keep going. Just like that. Yes, oh God, yes. I'm cumming. I'm cumming," he yelled aloud, his roaring timber thankfully muffled from prying neighbor's ears by thick concrete walls.

He shot his load, some of it dripping down his shaft but the majority of it splattered over her tits, coating the surface, and creating a pattern akin to a Pollock painting.

Drained, he crawled on the bed then steadied himself over her as if he were doing a pushup so that his weight did not rest on her. A devilish gleam in his eye, he licked his cum from her breasts and kissed her open mouthed where their tongues engaged in a dance neither one of them wanted to end. Parting, he sucked hard on her nipple, gnawing at the pebbled flesh while he kneaded the other in his tenacious grip.

"I need your mouth on me Jackson, please," she pleaded.

Knowing he would never deny her anything, she squealed with glee when he slunk lower until he met her core. Using just the tip, he traced the outline of her labia, teasing her relentlessly. She squirmed impatiently as worked her. His tongue flattened, he took long swipes of her, alternating between pulling at her nub and darting inside her. He grabbed hold of her hips to hold her still as she cried out in sweet agony from his manipulations.

"Jackson, stop," she cried through her sex addled brain.

Elevating himself so he could see over the swell of her stomach, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and peered at her with curiosity.

"What's wrong? You don't like it?" he asked almost in a state of shock.

She couldn't help but smile. To think that she wouldn't like anything he did to her was preposterous.

"No, I love it. It's just that… I can't see you," she said with a giggle, "and I wanna see that gorgeous face when I cum."

Laughing himself, he got up, took her hand, and helped her sit at the edge of the bed. He propped a pillow behind her and she bent her elbows and lay against it, so she could maintain watch of him.

He fell to his knees and placed her legs over his shoulders the set back to his task. This time, in addition to his tongue, he used his hand, formed in the shape of the Boy Scout salute, and fucked her. She thrashed above him as she barely held on. She scraped her fingernails over his scalp, sure she'd left several indentations in her passing.

"Yeah. Um. Un-huh, un-huh," she spat out.

Chest heaving and arms slack, she fell against the bed and unlike the other occasions when she orgasmed, this felt different. Usually, it would come in waves, crashing, and pulsating as she came. This time an unfamiliar sensation came over her as she felt pressure on her pelvic floor. Unable to as stop it, she felt a rush of liquid splash against her thighs and trickle down her leg as she came with an intensity she never experienced before.

"Woah," she heard him shout and she opened her eyes to a visual that was puzzling and humorous all at once.

His face was covered in a liquid substance that she kind of recognized but couldn't believe happened.

"Oh no!" she exclaimed in embarrassment. "Did my water break? Oh, God, no. Did I pee on you?"

One eye shut, he picked up her pajama top and wiped his face.

"No babe," he said with a chuckle, "you just squirted."

"I what?" she asked, perplexed.

"You," he said and pecked her on the lips, "ejaculated."

She was dumbfounded. She had never done that before. "What? No, that's not possible. I don't… cum that way."

"Well, you do now," he said and used the shirt in his hand to clean her up.

She sat back against the headboard and he reclined next to her. He placed his head on her chest and caressed her belly.

"I mean, I know I'm good. But I didn't realize I was that good," he said, not even bothering to try and hide his amusement.

"Shut up. It's not funny. It's humiliating," she said, her bottom lip stuck out.

"Hey," he said, lifting his head to look at her, "nothing we do is humiliating, or wrong. It's natural and it feels good and your body just responded in kind. You shouldn't be ashamed of anything we do and frankly, I thought it was kinda hot."

"I love you," was all she could think to say in response.

"I love you too. Now lay on your side," he instructed.

She turned and closed her eyes in contentment as he massaged the small of her back with deft fingers. Sometimes he would do this at night to help her fall asleep and right now, it was the perfect end to what had been a trying day.

As he culminated the rubdown, he slid one arm beneath her and the other over her and folded his hands over hers as they rested on the home where their baby lie.

Renewed in her faith that they would come out of therapy stronger than ever before, she melted into his embrace.

One more day and she would have a reprieve. She looked forward to getting away for a long weekend with Jackson, even if it could technically be classified as work. He told her that at the gala there would be a lot of shop talk, hobnobbing with the elite in the medical field and major sucking up be those who wanted to be close to his grandfather and his mother and would with no hesitation, use him or her to achieve their goal.

All she knew was that she wouldn't have to think about the hospital or their friends, co-workers, or therapy for four whole days. They could spend time focusing on the two of them and the blessing they were about to receive.

For her Thursday couldn't get here fast enough.

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter 9 title song – Just Give Me A Reason by Pink and Nate Ruess**

 **Next up – Catherine, Boston, Harper Avery, and the awards gala.**


	10. We Found Love

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… like the number of seasons, this one goes on.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 10: We Found Love

 **APRIL**

April rolled onto her back and stared up at the ornate canopy of the giant four poster bed. Her eyes were red rimmed, she was hot and extremely tired, but no matter what she did, she couldn't fall asleep.

She'd gotten comfortable, laid on her side and propped a pillow between her legs. She'd counted sheep, counted by three to nine hundred and ninety-nine and even tried to stop thinking about it at all in order to fall asleep faster, but her efforts were fruitless.

She and Jackson had arrived in Boston late yesterday afternoon on a direct commercial flight straight out of Seattle-Tacoma International. Of course, Jackson had gotten them first class seats and she enjoyed all the benefits that came with the upgrade, but the jet lag was wreaking havoc on her mentally and physically. It also didn't help that she wasn't in her own bed. Over the last month, she either slept at home or with Jackson and the change was unwelcome. She would have even preferred to stay at a hotel in a deluxe suite as he had initially proposed, but both his mother and grandfather had insisted that they stay at the family estate. Jackson hadn't been home for quite some time and having them all in the same town at the same time in the same place was an event in and of itself.

With great difficulty, she eased herself up to a seated position and with blurred vision, checked her phone. It was past ten and even though she knew he wasn't there, out of habit, she checked the empty spot next to her.

Earlier that evening, the four of them had eaten dinner then adjourned to the parlor for after dinner drinks. Well, all except for her of course. While Jackson, Catherine and Harper imbibed on twenty-year-old whiskey, she quietly drained a glass of ice water. She left the three of them downstairs about two hours ago and Jackson said he'd be right behind her, but she'd heard nothing from him. All she wanted to do was go to sleep with his arms wrapped around her as he rubbed her stomach soothingly. She had a long day planned with Catherine tomorrow and she knew she would need her wits about her.

April got to her feet, put on her slippers, tightened her robe, and shuffled to the bedroom door. Easing it open, she listened carefully to see if she could hear their voices but knew that was an impossibility. Harper's home wasn't just big, it was enormous. Why one man would need so much room she couldn't understand. She knew, it was more a status symbol than anything else, but still, it all seemed pointless to her.

Harper Avery, cardiothoracic surgeon, and God in his field had lived alone, minus staff that resided on the premises for over fifteen years. His wife Elizabeth had died oddly enough of a heart attack, of all things and he'd never remarried. Jackson had told her that his grandmother was the love of his life and though Harper was stern and unfeeling with other people, Elizabeth Avery brought out a side of him that none would ever see or frankly, believe.

April crept along the hallway at a snail's pace, the sconce lighting showing her the path like an airport runway. She and Jackson were staying in the east wing of the house and though this was her first time here, she had done a decent job of committing their location in the house to memory so that she wouldn't get lost and passed by another two bedrooms and a hall bath before coming to the double winding stair case that would take her down to the main foyer. She gripped the handrail as she descended to avoid a fall and once at the bottom, revered the decadent marble floor beneath her feet.

When they'd arrived, Jackson had given her a quick tour of all the main areas like the living room, the kitchen, the grand ballroom, and Harpers office which she was told was off limits, even to him unless invited. Now, looking down at the floor, and out of curiosity, she removed one slipper then placed her bare foot on the tile and smiled at the cooling sensation that traveled throughout her, helping to alleviate how overheated she felt.

Damn these pregnancy hormones, she thought.

Continuing, she made a left around an alcove then went straight until she came to the parlor and was dismayed to see that it was empty. She knew that no one was in the living room because from her line of sight at the stairway, she saw that it was unoccupied. She doubted they were the type of people to hang around the kitchen chatting and eating leftovers like her family did so that left her with one possibility, Harpers office.

When she made her way to it's location, she noticed that the door was ajar, and she could hear their voices in rapt conversation wafting from within. She really didn't want to barge in, but she wanted Jackson so pushed the door open and cleared her throat to alert them of her presence.

"Uh, hi. Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could talk to Jackson for a minute?"

The look of impatience on Harpers face and inquisitiveness on Catherine's didn't escape her as Jackson rose from his chair and made a beeline for her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"Nothing, I was waiting for you and I got worried. You said you'd be right behind me but that was hours ago," she said in a hushed voice so that the other occupants couldn't hear her. She didn't want them to think she was needy, but right now, Jackson was the only one who could comfort her.

"I'm sorry, babe. My grandfather wanted to talk to us about some foundation business and I lost track of time. Just give me a minute, alright?" he said as smoothed his hand over her hair.

"Everything okay, baby?" Catherine asked as she approached them.

"It's fine mom. I'm going to have to cut our discussion short and we'll pick up tomorrow where we left off," he said.

"Jackie, we're not finished. I-" Harper began only to be cut off unexpectedly by Catherine.

"I think that's it for tonight, Harper. Jackson's right. It's late and I have a day planned with April tomorrow, so I should be getting some sleep as well."

Jackson placed his hand on her waist, said his goodnights and took her back to their room. Once inside, she climbed into bed and watched as he undressed and put on his pajamas. Repositioning herself so that she was laying on her side, she sighed in relief as he settled behind her, his crotch nestled against her ass, and his arm as expected, cradled her as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"Are you sure you're okay? I didn't mean to leave you for so long but when my grandfather gets to talking he never stops and trust me, when he speaks, he commands your attention," he said.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just don't sleep well without you lately and if I'm being honest, I'm nervous about spending the day with your mother," she confessed.

"April, I know my mother can be overbearing and opinionated and well, annoying, but she's harmless. You can handle her," he assured her.

"Jackson, it's not that. It's… your mother and I have never really talked about what happened when you tried to file for custody of the baby. I know she apologized for the part she played, but I feel there's this distance between us that wasn't there before. I'm just afraid all of that is going to put a damper on the day," she admitted sheepishly.

He half sat up and pressed two fingers against her shoulder blade so that she rolled onto her back.

"Baby, I can't say sorry enough for playing a part in all that mess. I don't know what I was thinking, and I was so angry with you. I love you and I hope that you've forgiven me," he said as he peered into her eyes.

She reached up and pulled his head to hers then kissed him sweetly, "Yes, I have."

She knew that he was being sincere and of course she'd accepted his apology. For her, it was all in the past and while she'd never forget, she could forgive.

"As for my mom," he continued, "if this is really bothering you and you feel it's something that you two need to hash out, then talk to her. Baby, you're stronger than you think. Don't let my mother intimidate you."

"I won't, and I will talk to her about it. If we're going to do this, I want us all to be a family again. I miss her, and I want her in my life."

"I bet she misses you too," he said.

She wasn't sure how true that statement was, but she was determined to rebuild the relationship that she'd previously built with Catherine. They could get back to where they were with a newfound respect for one another after all the hurt and drama that they'd endured. She was sure of it.

Turning back onto her side, she closed her eyes and unlike the issues she'd been plagued with only minutes before, she instantly drifted off into slumber.

The alarm clock blared eight hours later, and her eyes popped open, then turned off the abrasive warning it sent out. Sitting up, stretched to work out the kinks, then turned to gaze at her bedmate.

Jackson, as he typically did every morning, had ended up on the other side of the bed, his limbs jutted out in various positions. He had one arm over his head, the other hung off the bed, one leg bent so that it rested on the opposite knee and the leg in question sprawled out so that it took up much of her space.

Getting up, she crossed over to the curtains and peeked out over the rose garden. Yes, Harper Avery had a rose garden. In addition, there was a pool, pool house, jacuzzi, a tennis court, and a garden at the rear which all surrounded an enormous amount of lawn space that could easily hold hundreds of party guests.

The opulence and grandeur of his home never ceased to amaze her.

She cradled her bump and pondered what it must have been like for Jackson to grow up in such wealth and wondered what would it be like to for them to raise their child in this world?

Jackson had managed to not let his status in life affect how he treated others and he was far from spoiled and she figured Catherine had played a significant role in how well adjusted he was. She knew there would be a lot of give and take for them both. They'd finally found their way back to each other and they'd had conversations on how they intended on raising the baby, she just hoped that they would be able to compromise and implement these rules once the child was born.

She was still deep in thought when her musings where broken simultaneously by a loud groan and a well-placed kick to her bladder.

"What are you doing awake? Come back to bed and cuddle with me. We can fool around a little. Have breakfast in bed. Fool around a little more…" he said as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

She made her way over to him and kissed him good morning.

"Thank you, but I will have to politely decline. You know I have plans with your mother and I'm sure she would not appreciate me being late," she said earnestly.

She had thought about his suggestion and while his offer was tempting, she knew if she got back in that bed with him, there'd be no telling when they'd get out. So, instead, she headed to the attached bath to shower.

She and Catherine were meeting at nine o'clock and she still needed to wash her hair, dress, and eat breakfast, so she'd be ready to go. She moved a bit slower these days and there was no need to rush, and although she was excited, she was still very anxious about it being just the two of them today.

Normally, Jackson would be the buffer on any outings they'd had together. Dinners, brunches, hell, meetings at the hospital. Jackson was always there to ease the tension. Now, she would be left to her own devices and she knew she could weather the storm, if it occurred, but that didn't mean she was looking forward to any trouble and two hours later, she was standing next to Catherine as their ride pulled up. A chauffeur driven luxury town car which would shuttle them to their destinations. April knew it was going to be an exhausting day, but no matter what, she was going to put on a smile and remain as positive as possible.

Catherine had arranged quite the itinerary for them. To start, they had an appointment that morning at Le Visage Spa where they would indulge in deep exfoliation facials, a mother to be and tranquility massages, an organic pre-natal body polish, honey and oatmeal hand and feet treatments, then manicures, and pedicures. Catherine told her she picked this establishment specifically because they were maternity safe, and April appreciated the fact that she considered her when selecting the establishment.

Next, they were having lunch L'Espliar, a New England-French inspired cuisine restaurant that had been won a James Beard Award for their chef, Frank McClelland, was a AAA Five-Star Diamond Award recipient and one of Boston's best restaurants amongst many of their accolades.

Then the reminder of their afternoon was to be spent at L'élite, an exclusive boutique where they had a private showing to shop for gowns for the gala.

April didn't know quite what to expect but was pleased that the day started off well. They had a pleasant conversation on the drive over to the spa where Catherine asked her about the baby and how she was handling the pregnancy. While she never outright asked about Samuel, she knew it was her intent and was thankful that she cared enough to be concerned with her state of mind. At the spa, while they indulged in side by side massages, she schooled April on how the evening would proceed. It would start out with them mingling with their peers and those high up in the medical food chain, a four-course meal, of which April had been privy to and was to be followed by the award presentation itself. Overall, she told her to be prepared for a long night with lots of people kissing her ass. Once they found out that April was a part of the Avery family, she would no doubt be inundated with requests to be introduced to Harper and invitations to events in the hopes that April would bring Catherine along. She told her to remember that she didn't need to feel obligated to accept any request and guaranteed her that if she outright denied any on the spot, it wouldn't be a problem.

During their manicures and pedicures, Catherine expressed to her how excited she was to be a grandmother, again, and that she planned to spend a lot more time in Seattle. She said while she and Richard had maintained a long-distance marriage, she felt is was important to be more involved in the goings on here and that it was essential for her and Jackson to know that she was invested in their reconciliation as much as they were.

April wasn't sure what to think of that. Yes, she was grateful that Catherine was on board, but she knew how intrusive she could be and didn't want her butting into her and Jackson's relationship or how they would raise their children. At this point, she knew there were a few things she needed to clear up with her and it looked as if lunch was going to be her opportunity.

When they arrived at the L'Espliar, they were escorted past the Salon area and seated in the Corner Room, the larger of the four dining rooms. It was so named for it's position in the restaurant and featured cushioned chairs; a treat her butt greatly appreciated, and floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out onto Boylston Street. April assumed that Catherine regularly frequented the establishment and her suspicions where confirmed when the chef himself appeared at their table to greet her.

"Dr. Avery, it's wonderful to see you again."

"Chef Mclelland, a pleasure as always."

April watched intently as they chatted with one another as if they were old friends and if there was one thing she could say about Catherine, she knew how to schmooze.

"…and who is this lovely young woman you are dining with this afternoon?" he asked, directing his attention towards her and she was about to answer when Catherine chimed in.

"This is my daughter-in-law, April. April, Chef Mclelland," she said as she introduced the two.

Well, you could have knocked her over with a feather and had she not already been seated, she would surely have ended up on the floor.

"Very nice to meet you," she said as she shook his hand.

The chef and Catherine continued to talk a few minutes more and April was glad to have a moment to herself.

Why would Catherine say that, she thought? Was she embarrassed that she and Jackson were divorced, and April was carrying their child? Or more than likely, she didn't want to go through the complicated story of their relationship as it certainly wasn't anyone's business, so she chose to believe it was the latter.

"If I may suggest, Dr. Avery," the chef continued, "I have a menu that I believe would be to your liking, yes? It features for starters Walnut with bresaola, white Concord grapes, caraway and Tête de Moine, followed by Pineland Farms roasted beef tenderloin, chanterelles, Brussels sprouts and new potatoes and to finish the meal a Pear tarte layered with apple cider-honey jam and frangipane, dragéed pine nuts and goat cheese ice cream."

"That sounds wonderful, chef. Thank you," she said in what April recognized as her polite, but dismissive tone.

Once the chef stepped away, April knew there was no way she could avoid broaching the topic of Catherine's role in helping to push her and Jackson further apart. Though she'd forgiven Jackson, she was holding a lot of resentment in her heart regarding Catherine.

How could a mother do that to another mother? And though this wasn't the best place to hash it out, if she'd didn't come clean, it would bother her all day and ultimately sour her mood.

She leveled her eyes at Jackson's mother and asked straight out, "Catherine, why did you push for Jackson to take custody of the baby?"

April didn't know what to expect. Would she yell at her for hiding the pregnancy from Jackson and tell her it was what she deserved? Would she say that she had shown herself to be untrustworthy and that her pattern of behavior to include abandoning Jackson when he most needed her most was reason enough as to why she initiated the action? Or, would she tell her that the only reason she didn't try to convince Jackson to do it again was that for some reason he had fallen back in love with her and she knew Jackson would be the stability they both needed?

It was a few of the several questions that had ran through her mind over the months prior and finally she would get her answer, but what Catherine had to say, would shock her indeed.

"Because I was being selfish. I was projecting the issues I had with Jackson's father on the both of you and it wasn't fair. You don't know this and I'm sure Jackson doesn't remember, but his father tried to take him away from me once. When we had split, he traveled with my baby across country claiming that he could offer him a better life. One away from the wealth that corrupts, away from the cut throat world that I as a surgeon lived in and one away from Harper. All I could imagine was that you weren't going to allow Jackson to be a part in that child's life and I realize the absurdity of it all now, but I didn't want that for him. I was upset with you for leaving him that second time. Upset that you'd left me too and I wanted to punish you. When Jackson told me that he didn't want to go through with filing, I'll admit, I thought he was being foolish and I told him as much. But he said something to me that hit me like a ton of bricks," April unintentionally flinched when Catherine reached across the table and grasped her hand, "he told me that you were his person and I didn't understand the connotation of that word until he explained it to me. He said that it was more than being a best friend. He said that it meant you and he were always on the same team. That no matter how busy you were, you always made time for one another. That when the problems of the day seemed to overwhelm, you'd always find a way to cheer each other up. That you listened whenever one of you wanted to complain and that you had each other's back. Without question. That you're there and that you understand when no one else does. He said he missed the way it was between you and him and that he wanted that back and not only for the sake of the baby. That's when I knew he was still in love with you and it would only be a matter of time before he realized it himself."

She then lifted her hands and covered mine.

"April, I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for what I did to you. I am ashamed that I wanted to take your baby away and I know that it is unforgivable, but I am asking that you please allow me the chance to redeem myself in yours eyes."

She didn't know what to say let alone how to respond. Catherine Avery didn't beg for absolution and the act left her off balance. For the first time since she could remember, she had the upper hand.

She could deny Catherine her request and make her experience all the pain and uncertainty that she had felt during that difficult period. She could string her along and make her pay penance for her scandalous behavior. Or, she could do what she knew she was going to do and that was not only accept her apology but accept her back into her life. April didn't believe in holding grudges and knew that she would follow God's teachings and forgive by faith. To trust in God that he would guide her into what needs to be done so that she will be recognized as a good servant in his eyes.

"Catherine, I forgive you," she stated firmly and without pause.

And with that, any animosity toward them and the situation, dissipated. It was time for all of them to move on and as far as she was concerned, they never had to speak of this issue again.

The remainder of the day was lovely. She had partaken in some of the most delicious food she had ever eaten and the trip to the boutique was a delight. Catherine had arranged for them to have a selection of gowns for her to try on and she had to admit, her taste was exquisite. A slew of choices were at her disposal and she had a tough time choosing which one she wanted. There was long flowy coral one that belted at the waist with capped sleeves, and while it was pretty, she wasn't wowed. There was an aquamarine one that had silver appliqué over the bust, but she felt the color would wash her out, so she said no. Then there was a simple black one she thought was to boring even though it left one shoulder bare. She was shown what felt like racks and racks of dresses after that as Catherine sat next to her and sipped on her champagne. Apparently, she'd already found the outfit she was going to wear but offered her opinions regarding April's.

Then, an hour later, she saw it. The one dress that she knew would take Jackson's breath away because that was all she cared about. She wanted to impress him and for him to be proud that she was on his arm.

They wrapped up their day not long after, having coordinated the dress with a pair of shoes and a clutch and headed for home and by the time they got in, she was beat. It would be another couple hours before dinner so she went up to bed to take a nap. Jackson had been busy with his grandfather most of the day, so she hadn't seen him since she left that morning and he still wasn't home so this was the perfect opportunity to catch a few z's.

At seven o'clock, she was awoken by a series of kisses over her forehead, cheeks, chin, and jaw.

"Hey, beautiful, it's time to eat."

"Jackson," she said as she covered her mouth to yawn, "when did you get back?"

"Um, about an hour ago," he said and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she huffed.

"Because you looked so tired and I know being with my mom all day is enough to make anybody wanna escape reality," he chuckled.

"That's how much you know. It went surprisingly well," she was happy to relay.

"Now, that is amazing. So, you guys buried the hatchet?" he asked curiously.

"There was no hatchet, but yes, we're good."

"I'm so glad to hear that," he said then leaned in to kissed her on the lips.

She'd never get tired of kissing him and there was many a night when they were divorced that she would dream of nothing but his kiss. But now was not the time to traipse down memory lane as she sensed her arousal growing so she placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"Now, now. None of that. We're going to be late for dinner and your grandfather does not like to be kept waiting."

He helped her up from the bed and hand in hand they made their way to the dining room. Harper and Catherine were already seated and gentleman that he was, he pulled her chair out for her then took his place next to her.

Tonight's dinner was much like yesterdays. Harper holding court as he detailed what he expected to happen regarding the foundation and the gala. Catherine going back and forth with him, standing her ground about what she considered misguided decisions. Jackson rolling his eyes at his grandfathers repeated suggestions that he come work in Boston with him and leave that hospital and all its catastrophes behind. That Jackson live up to his legacy, unlike his father so that one day Harper knew he would be passing the mantle onto his rightful heir.

Then to her surprise, she was blessed with the famous Harper Avery speech. The one Jackson said he'd heard too many times over the dinner table. She tired to hide her laughter as she looked at Jackson and Catherine's faces. They'd heard this no doubt dozens of times before and could probably recite it verbatim. Harper was not an easy man and April had learned that through their few encounters, but he was also impressive. He was smart and impassioned and though she would never tell him, she could see those traits in Jackson as well.

Other than that, the evening went smoothly and when Harper recommended they head to the parlor for after dinner drinks same as last night, she was overjoyed when Jackson declined and followed her upstairs.

As she undressed, Jackson came up behind her and rubbed her lower back. Left only in her underwear, he lowered his mouth to her neck and sucked on the spot between her ear and collarbone. He alternated between laving at her and then blowing air on the same area and it was turning her on as her breath quickened, and her pussy pulsated in concert.

Since this pregnancy, their reconciliation and them becoming intimate again, her sex drive had been insatiable and all he would have to do is brush up against her and she wanted to jump his bones and she knew he knew and it didn't take long for her to react.

"Jackson, please. I need you," she begged as his hands roamed over her ass.

"You don't have to ask, baby. I'll give you whatever you want," he replied and nipped at her earlobe which elicited a squeal from her in return.

Walking behind her, he directed her to the bed then slowly unclasped her bra and peeled her panties from her then stripped himself and climbed in after she got under the covers.

She was now in her eighth month and finding a comfortable position to have sex in was tricky. There was no way he could take her while she laid on her back. Doggy style was always an option, but with his stamina, she found herself tiring quicker than usual as she tried to keep her form as she rested on her hands and knees. So, what they ended up doing was having him spoon her and enter her that way. It wasn't her favorite because she loved seeing his expressions when they made love, but it would only be a few more months and everything would be back to normal. Well, as normal as it was when they were still married and happy.

She had knotted her hair on top of her head so that she could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck. She laid on her left side and he placed his arm beneath her ad that hand played with her breasts and his right hand manipulated her clit.

He plunged in and out of her at a maddening pace and she fought the urge to cum all over his pliable fingers. All the while, he whispered in her ear how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, and how he couldn't live without her.

He was a generous lover and always made sure she came first, and tonight was no exception. He was an expert with his hands, his fingers, his mouth, his tongue, his cock, and the months they'd been away from one another seemed as if they hadn't existed at all. When they started having sex again, it was as if no time had passed. He remembered all her sensitive areas as she had his. He knew what to do if he wanted her to cum quickly and what to do if he wanted to extend her pleasure and she did the same to him. Though she rarely did it, it wasn't uncommon for her to be brought to tears after a strenuous round of loving and it was even more so in her current state. They both knew these were tears of joy and they welcomed them as he kissed the salty droplets away.

At her peak, she screamed out his name, unabashed as he assured her that no one would be able to hear them on this side of the house. She reached behind her and grasped the back of his head and ordered him to pump faster so he could obtain his own release. Obeying her request, he braced his hands at her hips and fucked her. Hard. Oh, they were careful not to hurt or injure her in any way, but she wanted him to use his strength on her and he would do whatever she wanted to please her.

When he orgasmed, he grunted loudly, and she felt him shudder as he came down. They were sweaty and sticky, but they didn't care. She savored the feeling as he embraced her and thought they hadn't planned on it, they fell asleep shortly after and it was a good thing they had because they were going to need all the rest they could get in preparation for tomorrow.

 **JACKSON**

Jackson woke before the sun that morning and tried not to disturb April as he got out of bed. He threw on his sweats and sneakers, then went for a run around the property and surrounding area. He knew today was going to be extremely busy and he wanted to start out by clearing his head and as he ran he made a mental list.

He already had his tuxedo and dress shoes, but still needed to get to the barber for a shape up. Along with his mother, most of the morning would be taken up finalizing last-minute details. This afternoon, he had to make sure they got back to the estate on time because a stylist was coming by to do both her and April's hair and makeup for tonight. They'd already set up two limousines to pick them up and the last thing he had to do was make sure that the present he had for April was ready. The surprise he had for her wasn't one she was expecting and frankly, he didn't think he could hold off giving it to her for much longer.

Actually, it was one of two gifts he had, but the other was waiting for her in Seattle.

Five miles down, sweaty, but amid a runner's high, he took the stairs two at a time, stopping before he entered the bedroom and opened the door slowly. The sun had just come up and he didn't want to wake April if she was still sleeping.

"Morning," her raspy voice greeted him.

He loved the way she sounded when she woke up. It was deep, and she slurred her words just a little. He found it sexy.

"Morning, baby. What are you doing up so early?" he asked.

"Well, I turned over to give you a wake-up call but to my shock, you were already gone," she replied coyly.

"Oof, I'm sorry I missed it," he said and leaned for a kiss.

She quickly placed her hand between their mouths before they connected, "Don't. I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

He grasped her wrist lightly and pulled it away, "I don't care. Kiss me."

He started out with a peck but then peppered her with kisses which sent her into a fit of giggles.

"Okay, okay. Enough," she said, "we have a lot to do today. Go take your shower first then I'll jump in after you then we'll get dressed. You know your grandfather likes to eat breakfast at precisely seven-thirty and I for one don't want to have his wrath come down on me."

"On one condition," he said, his stance akimbo.

"What?" she stated wearily.

"You come shower with me," he requested and without waiting for an answer, he pulled her out of bed and led her to the bathroom.

They didn't have sex in the shower. It was to awkward. Lately, trying to attempt it without her bumping into something or him slipping was unfeasible, but that didn't mean they didn't fool around. It just meant it was all fingers and mouths that did the work and neither of them minded at all.

Forty minutes later, they were at the table with a variety of items set before them. Waffles; which Jackson told her the maid always cooked for him when he came home had been made along with croissants, bacon, eggs, sausage, fruit, orange juice and coffee.

He spied April as she looked around and assumed she wondered why they even bothered to make all this food.

Harper, who was too busy reading the Boston Globe and ignoring them had in front of him a piece of toast, a coddled egg and coffee. His mom on the other hand had a croissant, cherry jam, orange juice and coffee. He had a stack of waffles covered in butter and syrup, four strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, a banana, orange juice and coffee set in front of him. What the hell, he thought. He deserved it. He did love to eat, but he was good at monitoring his intake and this was a treat for him, so he let it slide. He did hear her snicker as he filled up his plate and for someone who had not an hour ago come off a grueling run and was now indulging in such a calorie laden meal, he couldn't help but laugh at himself as well.

As for April, he noticed she seemed jittery this morning and was worried when she only filled her small platter with strawberries and cream. She had to forgo the coffee and requested some chamomile tea as he figured it was to help settle her stomach and her nerves. This was her first Harper Avery Awards Gala and he was sure she wanted to make a good impression not only for herself but for Catherine, Harper, him, and the foundation. She was going to be an Avery. Again, and he couldn't be happier. She had to be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with them. They were the best and he had no doubt she would live up to everyone's expectations.

After they'd eaten, everything seemed to go at warp speed. Jackson and Harper not long after breakfast had prepared to leave, and they hadn't planned on being back until somewhere close to four. His mom had her own errands to run after she dealt with any gala issues, and she promised April she would be back by three to meet the stylists and help her get ready for tonight which left April to fend for herself most of the day.

Jackson knew there wasn't much she could do. Harper had staff around the house so there was nothing for her to cook, fix or clean. Not that he wanted or expected her to anyway. She just needed something to keep her occupied. So, he suggested she take the full tour of the house. Wander from room to room. Explore on her own. See how the other half lived. He suggested she avoid the bedrooms, especially Harper's as that was his private sanctuary and he knew she'd never want to invade his privacy, even though he guessed she'd be deathly curious. He told her to stop in Harper's office and view all the awards, certificates, and degrees he had showcased and while yes, he admitted to her, that Harper Avery could be a bastard, even he couldn't deny one thing. He was brilliant.

With that, he left instructions on how to contact Mary, the housekeeper if she needed anything and details of where he'd be throughout the day. He figured she'd probable take a walk through the garden, watch some television, and take a nap and hopefully, he'd be back before she knew it. Then the three of them headed off to the Intercontinental Hotel to make sure that preparations were being followed to the letter.

They'd used the Dartmouth/Eleanor Room at past events and found the staff, accommodations, and overall service impeccable. While Catherine reviewed the seating assignments one last time, Harper spoke to the general manager, well spoke isn't exactly the right term, he more like demanded that everything go on without a hitch tonight or heads would roll. As for him, he viewed the setup with a discerning eye. He knew his mother's standards and was quick to pick out anything that she would deem unacceptable.

It didn't take him long to finish his task and he soon left them to their duties and made his way to the barber he regularly saw when he was in town for a shave and haircut. After that he went to pick up his tuxedo then made his last stop to get April's gift.

By the time he got back home, it was close to four and both April and his mother were finishing up getting beautified. At least that's what his mom called it. The two up them had taken up residence in the bedroom next to the one he and April were staying in, so he didn't have to worry about being in their way.

He left for the bathroom to take another shower then get dressed and was adjusting his bowtie when April walked in. She was still in her bathrobe, but her hair was done in an elegant updo and her makeup was flawless, and he thought she looked amazing.

"You know, we can skip the awards altogether and spend the night here. Just the two of us," he said as a devilish grin spread across his face.

"Oh, I'm sure your mother and your grandfather would adore that idea. Are you trying to get me banned from family functions?" she said in jest.

"C'mere," he insisted as he placed his hands on her waist and moved in close. He tried to give her a kiss but was quickly rebuffed.

"No, you don't. It took forever for them to get me all glamourous and you aren't going to mess it up. You'll just have to wait until we get back later, then you can ravage me," she said suggestively.

His only response was a low guttural growl and he patted her on the bottom as she walked past him.

"You need to leave. Your mother is going to help me put on my gown and I don't want you to see my dress right away. I want to surprise you. Okay?" she asked.

"Sure, babe," he agreed, "but help me with these first and then I'm out of your hair."

He bit his lip hard and watched her intently as she hooked his cuff links on his dress shirt. They were sterling silver, pavé diamond trimmed with black volcanic rock inserts and were probably the most ostentatious things he'd owned. The John Hardy designed gemstones cost him about two grand, but it was something he'd never tell her. The monetary value of things didn't impress April and that was one of the things he loved about her most. She had been just as happy with the large diamond ring he had given her five weeks into their marriage as she had the simple rose band he had placed on her finger when they'd eloped. But tonight, he couldn't wait to show her what he had in store.

"Alright," she said as she let go of him, "your mother will be in here any minute and I need to get ready. So, shoo," she ordered.

Obeying her instructions, he made his way downstairs. When he got there, he fiddled around on his phone, answered a few emails, and liked some tweets to pass the time as he awaited her arrival. He was in the middle of posting a picture on his Instagram when he heard heels click on the stairway. He glanced up when he saw his mother ascend and commented to her on resplendent beauty and the fetching navy-blue ankle length gown that was overlaid with lace. His mother always had good taste and tonight was no exception. His mother was a beautiful woman and it he'd often bear witness to her catching a man's eye, but luckily, he wouldn't have to defend her honor tonight, not that he ever needed to, Catherine Avery was fully capable of taking care of herself.

Richard had flown in a few hours ago to accompany her to the gala but decided to stay at the hotel rather than the estate and would be flying back to Seattle with them on Monday. Now Jackson understood why she had the extra glint in her eye.

He was about to turn back to his phone when another set of heels met the landing and when he looked up to the top of the stairs, there stood a sight that took his breath away.

April seemed to float in midair as she made her way down, her fingers lightly grazing the handrail as she approached him.

She was wearing a strapless, floor length, pink chiffon gown. It had a sweetheart neckline, with a ruched bodice, an empire waist and a skirt that flowed effortlessly behind her. He also noticed that she was wearing three new pieces of jewelry. A very expensive and very old diamond choker, with matching bracelet and stud earrings that he recognized as his grandmothers. She had left them to his mother in her will and to know that she had loaned them to April for the evening pleased him to no end.

But as for April, she was radiant. Exquisite. Gorgeous. The jewelry did nothing to detract from her beauty and if anything, they paled in comparison. He stood there with his mouth hanging open like an idiot until his mother nudged him with her elbow.

"Go to her," she told him.

He stepped forward and met her just before she landed on the bottom step.

"April, I-I… you, you look stunning," he said, still unable to believe his eyes.

She placed her hand on his cheek, "So do you."

He grasped her hand and kissed her palm and whispered to her, "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered back as she ran her thumb across his lip.

"Alright you two, the limos are outside, can we get this show on the road," Harper butted in with his normally aggressive tone.

He obviously didn't have a romantic bone in his body, but Jackson just ignored him. Besides, he wasn't finished yet.

He took both of April's hands in his and stood in front of her, proud and tall.

"April, I know that it's been a difficult journey for us and mistakes were made on both sides, but I want you to know that I regret ever spending a minute away from you and I never want that to happen again. I know that we're still going through therapy and there are a lot of issues we need to rectify but I need to say something to you. Sheila might tell me that I'm moving to fast. That this is something we should plan and discuss, and I know we've talked about it, but I don't want to wait any longer."

He pulled the small black box out of his pocket and lowered himself down onto one knee. As he opened it, he could already see the tears as they began to well up in her eyes. He had thought about presenting her with the same ring he had years ago, but that ring was a just a memory now. It belonged in the past and that was where it would stay. He wanted something new for them. A fresh start, so her bought her a three carat, three stone, 18K gold engagement ring.

"April," he said with clogged throat, "this ring represents all that we are and all that I want for us. This is today. This is tomorrow. This is forever. Will you marry me?"

The anticipation he felt as he waited for her to answer didn't last long as she responded almost immediately.

"Yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you."

Jackson placed the ring on her finger and was glad he remembered to make it a little larger to accommodate the fact that they were a tad swollen, but they could always resize it later. What was important was that she said yes and if he never got anything good again besides April and their baby, he's still be the most fortunate man in the world.

"Good, Lord. Are you done?" Harper asked.

"Hush, old man," Catherine stated, "let them have a minute."

He heard the two of them move outside to the car and he broke the kiss.

"Are you sure? I'm not moving too fast, am I? You can tell me if you're not ready," he asked with baited breath.

She opened her clutch and took out a tissue then dabbed her eyes, "Jackson, I'm sure. I want this. I want you."

He stood to her side, crooked his arm and she slid her through. Bypassing a still grimacing Harper, he helped her into their limo and off to the gala they went.

The ride over was took about forty minutes with the traffic and he used every one of them to express what he felt for her. He was careful not to smudge her makeup or harm a hair on her head, but that didn't mean he didn't have other ways to amuse themselves.

He kissed and licked at her neck, being careful not to leave any marks, and groped her under her dress. The partition had been rolled up, so he had no concerns about the driver seeing them. Besides, he was sure he'd seen worse, but sadly, before he knew it, they were at the venue.

He opened the door to be met with flashbulbs and reached out his hand to for April. She wasn't used to the photographers and excitement that surrounded the event and was pleased at how well she maintained her composure. In the medical universe, this was as big as it got and to be invited to the Harper Avery's was an honor in itself.

As they walked inside the hall, he was at once bombarded with handshakes and greetings from people he didn't know, or barely remembered and the questions where the same as it was every year.

Care to give me a hint as to who the recipient will be?

Do you think you could introduce me to your grandfather?

I have an idea I'd like to propose and would love and audience with your mother. Do you think you could make that happen?

And as always, he was polite, nodded when he was supposed to and kindly declined many requests.

It was also common for several of the women there to flirt with him. He wasn't stupid, he knew what they were doing. The accidental brush against his arm. Or the deliberate pat on the shoulder that seemed to linger. But this time, he had no desire to indulge or pacify any of them. Whenever he was approached by the opposite sex who had more on their minds then the goings on of the foundation, he made sure to introduce to them to his very beautiful and very pregnant fiancée.

He had to admit though, he usually had a decent time at these events. He'd meet many well respected and talented physicians from a variety of fields and engaged in some interesting conversations. He noticed that April was having an enjoyable time as well as he periodically checked on her as they mingled about. He could barely keep his eyes off her and it remained that way throughout the speeches, dinner, and presentation of the award to this year's recipient, Dr. Joanna Meadows for her ground-breaking work in cancer epidemiology and women's health.

Thankfully, the entire night went off without a hiccup and it was winding down and half the guests had already departed. Jackson was walking to the bar when he caught the tail end of a conversation that stopped him in his tracks.

"…don't understand why he would want to marry her again. She left him to go to some godforsaken war zone instead of standing by her husband when he needed her most. He's made some questionable choices in the past, but this has got to be one of the worst."

Jackson was usually good at controlling his temple, but right now, he was pissed off.

He'd expect to hear this kind of slander from other people, but never from his own grandfather and in such a public setting.

"What do you think you're doing?" he said as he confronted him.

"Jackie, I was just discussing with a colleague of mine what a terrible mistake I think you're making."

"And you thought that here, tonight, with someone I don't know was the best place to discuss it. Frankly, I don't care what you think about me and April and I suggest you mind your own business," he said, his face contorted into a menacing scowl.

"Just a minute. I don't know who you think you're talking to, but I am your grandfather. You will show me respect," he told him.

"I'll give you respect when you earn it."

"I'm only looking out for your best interest. She abandoned you. Just like your father. She's lied to you. Hid the fact that she was pregnant. You divorced her, which was the wisest decision you've made in a long time and now you want to remarry her. Use your head boy."

"I am not your boy," he answered through gritted teeth. He could see in his peripheral April and his mother approaching but at this point, there was no stopping him, "and let me tell you one thing. Yes, April made mistakes, but I made them too. She didn't abandon me. She left me so that she could heal, and she came back to me. I was angry. So angry at her and I wanted to hurt her and that's what I did. _I_ gave up on the marriage when she wanted to work it out. _I_ failed to listen to her when she tried to tell me how she felt. _I_ was the one who tried to take our baby away from her and she have forgiven me for all my sins. April is the best person I know, and I may not believe in God, but I am grateful to whatever or whoever has put her in my life and I'm gonna make damn sure that I don't screw it up again."

With that, he turned on his heel, took April by the hand and left for home.

He was quiet the entire ride back and he appreciated that fact that she allowed him to be in his own headspace. He wasn't upset with her and he knew she realized that. He just need to compartmentalize things. He'd fought with his grandfather before and this certainly wouldn't be the last time, but he'd had enough and needed to stand his ground. He knew Harper would be mad, but he would respect his all the same. Jackson had never spent his life kowtowing to anyone and he wasn't going to start now. Regardless of who it was. Even his own grandfather.

When they got back under the shelter of the four-poster canopy bed, he all at once felt a calm settle over him. It had been a great night. The awards had gone well. He had met some peers he would like to keep in touch with. But most importantly, April had said yes to his proposal. He loved her, and he was going to marry her again. He was going to give her the wedding she always wanted and should have had and his main goal in life from this point on was to be the best husband and father he could be. He was going to let go of the ghost of Robert Avery and the cold, hard disposition of Harper. This was his life and he was going to live it how he chose.

As if sensing his relaxed demeanor, April crawled on top of and lifted her nightgown over her head. He was about to speak when she placed a finger over his lips to shush him. She situated herself so that she straddled him and rubbed her core against his tumescent cock. Jackson cupped her breasts and thumbed her nipples eliciting a wanton moan for his effort. She ground harder against him and even though he was still in his boxers and she in her panties, he could feel her wetness seeping through. She moved had hand between them and pulled his dick out through the slit in his underwear and pushed the crotch of her panties aside. She slid down his long, hard member, inch by inch, circling her hips as she did until she was filled to the hilt and he groaned in rapture as she writhed about him.

He always preferred this view. Her on top of him where he could see her face, her body, his baby. He took pride in how he was the one to help create the life growing inside her and smiled brighter every day at how she swelled as the birth grew nearer. He took pride in how her features contorted, how her lips parts and her breaths became uneven as she rode him. And he took pride in how her skin flushed, her nipples hardened, how she scratched at his chest and her pussy dripped as coated him as she came with the help of his nimble fingers.

As for him, he was close, oh so close and when he was near his peak, she reached out and tweaked his nipples as hard as she could between her thumb and forefinger and he felt fireworks burst behind his eyelids. The nipple twisting was something new they did when they were in this position and he for one could say this predilection was one he was on board with.

Panting heavily, she eased herself off him and lay down at his side. He got up and went to the bathroom, cleaned himself off and wet a towel for her then helped her wipe up their, mess before joining he on the bed.

Both content, she cradled his head so that it lay across her bosom and hummed to him until he fell asleep.

Sunday was their last full day in Boston as they were scheduled to fly back on the family's private plane tomorrow with his mother and Richard. Jackson had planned to take April sightseeing after brunch, to check out all the touristy places and his favorite haunts. He wanted to show her The Freedom Trail, Boston Common and Public Garden and take her for a ride on the swan boats. He wanted to show her Beacon Hill and his alma mater Harvard Square. He knew it was cheesy, but he wanted to play tourist for a day but when she asked if they could do it on their next trip he hid his disappointment. He was looking forward to showing her the town, but she was most than likely drained from yesterday and as he thought about it, a day in with her was much more appealing.

Brunch after the night of the awards was a tradition and was attended by Harper, his mother, Richard, his Uncle Norbert, whom he missed dearly, Norbert's wife, his son, daughter-in-law and their two children in addition to his daughter, her husband and their three kids.

Jackson knew his grandfather always hated when they came over. All these people in his house annoyed him as he was frequent to remind them. But Norbert was Jackson's favorite uncle and he didn't see him often, so he savored any time he got to spend with him.

"Jackie, come here," Harper called out to him as they sat on the veranda.

"Yes, grandpa," he answered hesitantly. He was not in the mood for any of his shit and if he started it, Jackson was going to be sure to finish it.

"You know how I am and I'll support you if this is what you want to do," he stated.

Jackson knew exactly what he was talking about. This was Harper's way of apologizing for what he'd said last night, and he also knew, that was this was the best apology he was going to get.

"Thank you, grandpa," he said with a smirk.

"Now, go away."

Jackson couldn't help but laugh. That old coot loved him in his own way and the best way he knew how. He wasn't going to change at this stage in his life, so Jackson decided to let it go. Who knew how much time Harper had left and he wasn't going to spend it hating the man.

The rest of the afternoon was pleasant. Uncle Norbert told April stories of a young Jackson and how he used to spend many a summer on vacation with him and his family. He told April about how he taught Jackson to swim and stubborn yet courageous boy he was, at the age of four, bypassed the kiddie pool and dove into the deep end of the water at the country club pool thereby scaring him and his mother damn near to death. He told April how he taught Jackson how to drive at the age of fifteen and how he almost crashed not only his BMW, but nearly rammed into three other parked cars on the property.

Jackson couldn't help but smile at those memories. Though he didn't have a father in his life, he looked around at the people that did help his develop and grow into the man he was today. His mother, his Uncle Norbert and yes, Grandpa Harper and he couldn't wait to make memories of his own with April and their child as he made a vow to be there for them every step of the way.

The day passed by quickly and Jackson was saddened to see his favorite uncle go but made a promise that he and April would make a special trip to visit them once the baby was born and for the rest of the evening, they lazed around on hammocks in the backyard and prepared themselves to head back home.

Monday, the plane rolled onto the tarmac at 2 pm Seattle time. Catherine had arranged two cars for them and she left for home with Richard as Jackson directed their driver to April's apartment.

"We're going to my place? I thought we'd head to yours. I have clean clothes there and I'm really not in the mood to do any laundry today," she whined uncharacteristically.

He placed his hand on her stomach and was rewarded with a kick, "I have something I didn't tell you. While we were away, I arranged a present for you."

"A present? For me?" she inquired.

"Yeah, I'll confess now but I had a set of your apartment keys longer than you've know," he said self-consciously.

"Oh really," she said, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, remember that night after our first Lamaze class, well I swiped them then," he said as if it were the most normal thing to do.

"Jackson! What have you done?" she asked and slapped him on the thigh.

"You'll see when we get there," he said excitedly.

Twenty minutes later, they were back at her place. He unlocked the door, placed their luggage in the foyer, covered her eyes with his palm and guided her to the second bedroom.

"Keep your eyes closed until the count of three, okay?"

"Okay," she said gleefully.

He made sure she was facing the room head on, so she could get the full view in one glance.

"Ready?" he asked anxiously.

"Ready!" she shouted.

"Alright, now. One. Two. Three."

Before he reached the last number, he whipped his hand away and with great anticipation waited for her response.

As the seconds ticked by, the wide expectant smile that he had morphed into a frown.

Dismayed, he questioned her, "What, you don't like it?"

Before April was a fully stocked nursery, designed in a farm motif.

Months ago, when he came to her apartment and saw that she hadn't done anything to prepare for the baby, he was dismayed to learn that her fear that something would happen had stopped her from decorating. Months later, she still hadn't put a stick of furniture in the room and the delivery date was getting close. As he craned his neck around to look at her face, he saw that she was crying.

Fuck! He had screwed up again. He should have never presumed that she wanted or needed his help.

"April, I'm… I'm so, so sorry. I thought you would like it," he said apologetically.

"How?" was all she asked.

"I gave Arizona the key and had her meet the interior decorator and her crew. It only took them a day to set this up and I really thought this would make you happy. Please don't be angry with her. She only wanted to help and again, I'm sorry I overstepped," he said pleadingly.

She turned to him and held his face in her hands, "I'm not crying because of that. I love it, Jackson. I really do," she said as she cried.

He was overwhelmed with relief, "Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were gonna kick me out."

"But…" she began.

"But what?" he asked quizzically.

"But we aren't going to need it," she said.

He had no clue as to what she was inferring as a cavalcade of wild thought invaded his mind. Did she not want the baby? Did she want to give it up for adoption?

"What, April? What is it?" he asked impatiently.

"This weekend, I decided I was going to tell you I wanted to move in with you," she said with mirth.

He stood there dumbfounded, "Say again?"

"I. April Kepner. Would like to move in with you," she said as she pointed at his chest, "Jackson Avery."

The frown that had previously graced his features now was a grin so wide it hurt his jaw, "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm serious. It's funny, but I decided to tell you before you proposed to me. I thought it would be the perfect end to our weekend. That's why I wanted to head back to your place. I brought a new set of throw pillows and left it there," she said with joy.

"You and those damn throw pillows. April Kepner, I love you."

"No, I love you."

"So, what are we gonna do with all this stuff," he said as he waved at the furnished room, "We aren't going to need two nurseries."

"I don't know. Donate it to Good Will, I guess," she replied.

"I think that's a great idea," he said and leaned in to kiss her.

As soon as his lips touched hers, they heard a loud plopping wet sound and looked to see April's water had broken and splashed all over their shoes.

"Oh, my God, Jackson!"

"Oh, my God, April. The baby's coming."

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter song title – We Found Love by Rihanna**

 **Next up, the epilogue.**

 **April's gala gown is the exact duplicate of Jennifer Lopez's from the movie Maid in Manhattan.**


	11. The Beginning

**I do not own Grey's Anatomy… Japril. I don't think I need to say anything else.**

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 11: The Beginning

 **APRIL**

"Babe, don't you want to sit down for a while? You've been pacing for hours," he said with care.

"It hasn't been hours, Jackson. Stop exaggerating," she answered, hands braced near the curve of her spine.

April had traced the familiar path from the end of the hall to the sliding glass doors of her apartment for the umpteenth time with no stopping in sight. Her water had broken two hours ago and there were still no signs of any contractions and with that revelation, and being doctors, she and Jackson knew that it could logically be anywhere between one to seven days before the baby was here. So, she wasn't in active labor, but the chances were that she would start contractions somewhere within the next twenty-four hours.

"Do you want to sit in a warm bath? Maybe that will help," he recommended.

"No thank you," she replied.

"Do you want me to check your cervix?" he asked.

"What? No," she said, a perplexed look on her face, "I don't need you to be my doctor right now Jackson. I need you to be my… fiancé who I'm about to have a baby with."

Even though she was tired and frustrated, she couldn't help but smile back after she saw him grin when she called him her fiancé. That was the first time she had said it aloud and she had to admit, it felt good. Who'd have thought all those months ago that they would be back here, in the place where they had begun their married lives together and ultimately had torn it apart. But right now, she didn't have time to focus on that. Right now, she had to concentrate on the life inside of her and bringing it out safely into the world.

"April, I just want to see how dilated you are. That will give us a good indication of how much time we have before we need to head for the hospital."

"I'm fine, Jackson," she said through clinched teeth, the happy moment passing just as quickly as it had arrived.

She continued her walk, using her thumbs to knead her lower back which had begun to ache. Jackson had offered to give her a massage, but she politely declined. Frankly, the last thing she needed or wanted right now was his hands on her. It wasn't personal, and he was being really sweet, but his hands on her had gotten them in this predicament and those memories would only flood her mind as soon as he touched her. She didn't want to think about his kisses, or his warm breath on her neck, his fingertips grazing her hips or his mouth doing things to her that would make a porn star blush. So, even the idea of that was a big, fat, no.

An hour later, she had managed to ease the pain along her spine and just to break up the monotony, changed direction and started walking the length from the living room to the front door. Then he said something that had she not been a Christian, she surely would have punched him in the face.

"Do you wanna have sex?" he asked.

Eyes widening, April halted dead in her tracks. Maybe her hearing was starting to go because there was no way in hell that she'd heard what she thought she had. Then just as if she hadn't reacted at all, he continued with his spiel.

"I read that having an orgasm can help stimulate the womb. Sex releases oxytocin's which can help contractions and my semen can soften the area around your cervix, making it ready for when labor starts," he offered.

She spun and glared at him with daggers in her eyes, "There is no way in hell I want your penis anywhere near my vagina right now!"

His serious mien suddenly cracked as he chuckled relentlessly, "Babe, I'm kidding."

"Well, I don't think that was very funny!" she yelled then turned away from him.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said and approached her. He braced his hands on her arms and moved them up and down comfortingly, "Relax. It's okay."

"Jackson, I know you're only trying to help, but really, you're not!" she said her voice rising as she wiggled out of his grasp.

She turned around to face him and at once felt terrible for causing the anguished look he was now sporting. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. He had been so good to her the preceding months, especially during these last stages of her pregnancy, and while they'd still had their issues and where actively working them out, this wasn't the time to make him an enemy.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I know you're only trying to help me and I appreciate it. I really do. It's not you sweetheart I'm angry with. I'm just… I'm scared," she confessed.

"Oh, babe. There's nothing to worry about. Everything's going be fine," he said reassuringly.

"Jackson, we don't know that. Sure, I've been keeping to my appointments and all the tests show that the baby is fine, but what if something happens during the delivery? What if it has a rare, undiagnosed disease? What if they missed something, and don't say they didn't because it could happen," she ranted, "What if… what if I fail this baby like I failed Samuel?" she admitted as the tears fell.

Jackson took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes intently, "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again. You didn't fail Samuel. You didn't fail our son. What happened was horrible. I miss him, and my heart yearns for him every day, but there was nothing either of us could have done to prevent the outcome. Samuel's fate was decided as soon as he was conceived. It was cruel, and it was unfair but you my love, are not to blame."

She shook her head resolutely as his words seeped over her. She knew they were true as all she ever wanted to do once she found out she was pregnant was protect this baby.

"Okay. Okay," she said in reply.

He kissed her softly and was about to release her, so she could resume her march when she gripped his wrists.

"Jackson, I have to tell you something and I don't want you to get mad," she asked sweetly.

His brow furrowed, he waited for her to explain, "Alright."

"Promise," she insisted.

"I promise," he stated and crossed his heart like a child vowing to keep a secret with a friend.

She took a deep breath and then rattled off in a run on sentence, "I've been having contractions for the last hour and they started about five minutes apart but right now they're about four and I've been trying to ignore it, I'm not sure why, but I think the baby is coming soon and I just wasn't ready for all of this to be real and now I think I might have really endangered it by not saying anything and your face is turning really red and your eyes are extremely wide and you promised you wouldn't get mad at me so say something."

He just looked at her, frozen in position.

"Jackson!" she screamed when she received no response.

Then for what had seemed like minutes, but which were only seconds, he reacted.

"What!" he bellowed, "You mean to tell me you have been walking around, having contractions and hiding it from me?"

"You said you wouldn't get mad!" she shouted.

He placed his hands up to his mouth as if in prayer, closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.

"You're right, I did promise, and I swear, I'm not mad. I'm just concerned, and you can't fault me for that. So, what we're gonna do right now is get the bag you packed for the hospital, I'm going to call ahead and make sure your room is ready, then I'll call our moms. It's going to be fine, April. Trust me," he assured her.

"I do trust you and I love you," she said earnestly.

"I love you too, and hey, we're having a baby today," he answered with glee as his eyes brightened and a wide smile spread across his face.

Her expression now matching his, she took his hand and let him lead the way.

Forty minutes later, they were at the hospital and he was helping her into her gown when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," she called out.

"Everything okay in here?" Arizona asked.

"Yeah, we're good," he answered for them both.

"Well, I'm gonna go ahead and check your cervix and see how dilated you are. Why don't you hop up on the bed and let's take a peek," she said and gestured toward the gurney.

Arizona took the spot at the bottom of the bed while Jackson took she hand and helped her to lie down. She couldn't help but notice how gentle he was being with her. How he focused solely on her needs, using a soothing voice to keep her calm. At this moment, she was so grateful to have him by her side and she couldn't imagine what it would be like if they hadn't reconciled. The thought alone caused tears to prick at the back of her eyes and she quickly opened them wider to dry them. She didn't want him to become agitated as she saw the fear clearly written all over his face. He was being strong for her because it was what she needed right now, but she vowed that when this was all over, she would show and prove to him just how much she loved and appreciated him.

"Okay, April. Looks like you're about seven centimeters and everything is looking good. I say it could be anywhere from an hour on until baby Avery is here," she said with that patented Robbins grin.

"Are you excited?" April asked as she craned her neck to see Jackson.

"Are you serious? I'm ecstatic. I can't wait to be a daddy again," he said and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

Arizona was finishing her examination when the door swung open.

"My babies. Oh, my goodness. I can't believe that my grandchild is almost here."

"Mom! What are you doing?" Jackson questioned in disbelief.

April quickly reached down and tucked her gown between her legs, "Catherine!"

"Oh hush. We're all doctors here and even though I'm a Urologist, I've seen my share of vaginas."

She and Jackson cringed simultaneously, not even wanting to think of the possibilities of her statement.

"That's not the point, mom," he said, frustrated, "This is private, and you should know better to just walk in as you please. I called you to let you know that we were heading to the hospital. Not for you to think that you would be a part of the birthing process."

"I know that, honey. I just wanted to come and check in on my soon to be daughter-in-law and let her know that if she needed anything that I was here. Is that okay with you?" she said snarkily as she scowled, though lovingly, at her son.

"Mom, I-" he began, but April wisely cut him off.

A comforting hand wrapped around his forearm, she spoke directly to his mother, "Thank you, Catherine. I appreciate your concern and I am happy that you are here so that you can be witness to your grandchild coming into the world."

"See," Catherine said as she addressed Jackson, "someone's glad I've arrived, but don't worry. I don't plan on staying and interrupting your _private time._ I'm going to go visit Richard, but you let me know the minute that baby arrives. Understand?"

"Yes, mom," he answered.

Catherine then walked over and kissed both Jackson and her on the cheek. An action that surprised her to say the least. She then left out as quickly as she had come, soon to be followed by Arizona, leaving the two of them by themselves to wait.

All alone, she scooted over on the mattress a bit so that he could sidle up next to her. His arms cradling her, she nested her head on his shoulder.

"So, we never did decide on a name and I think now would be the perfect time," she said.

"I think maybe you're right," he agreed.

 **JACKSON**

They had discussed a variety of choices over the last month and had whittled it down to their top two. They both agreed that they wanted something meaningful and poignant as a name. Something that could stand on its own, outside of being an Avery.

Jackson had selected Eldridge if it was a boy and Bella if it was a girl. Eldridge, because it meant leader and Bella because it meant beautiful. If it turned out to be a boy, he didn't want his son to be saddled with being a junior, or more appropriately, Jackson Avery the II. He knew that would be too much pressure as he damn near crushed under the weight of his surname himself at times. In the back of his mind, he wanted to ask her again to consider Norbert after his favorite Uncle, but he thought the memory of Samuel and their choice to use Norbert as his middle name would always be attached to him. Foolishly he realized, it would be unfair to her, Samuel, and their baby. The other option was one that would have made sense, but he didn't want to use his middle name, Durham, as the child's first name either. The connotation of who James Durham was could also put undue pressure on him to become a doctor. No, he wanted this child to have a chance to be who they wanted to be regardless of its lineage.

As for April, he liked the names she had chosen as well. For a boy, she wanted to use the name Boone because it meant blessing and it was the closest she could get to anything remotely religious-like as he had outright nixed the idea of them using a biblical name. They'd had a bit of a row about that one, but he eventually made his case and she acquiesced. One of the things about their relationship that they were working hard on was compromise. They were determined to make this work and because she gave in on this request, he made a renewed oath to attend church with his family; all but one Sunday every month and to not complain the entire time he was there. The waffles after being the deal-breaker.

As for a girl's name, she loved the idea of calling her Harriet. At first, he assumed that it was after Harriet the Spy, the classic children's novel about Harriet M. Welsch, an eleven-year-old aspiring writer who lived in New York. Yes, he'd read the books as a child and loved them and couldn't wait to share his passion of reading with their child. In fact, Harriet reminded him of April somewhat. It's not that Harriet was mean, per se, but that she is brutally honest. Like Harriet the Spy, April wasn't straightaway likeable as people tended to perceive her personality at first meeting as overwhelming, perky, and ostentatious. In the book, Harriet the Spy is a watcher who spends most of her time jotting down her revelations in her notebook, not unlike the little red book April herself had carried around for years. But like Harriet the Spy, once she let people in and they got to know her, they loved her, and Jackson could understand that like no one else.

But, imagine his surprise when she told him that she wanted to name their baby girl after Harriet Tubman. Harriet was a slave turned abolitionist, humanitarian, spy, and conductor for the Underground Railroad who amongst many helped to free what was estimated to be approximately 100,000 slaves to freedom. To say that he was astonished by her choice was only partly true. It wasn't that he didn't like the name, he did, but to have a name that was so meaningful to not only him being a Black man, but it also represented a person who was strong, resilient, a believer in God in lieu of the ugliness before her and courageous in the face of those who meant to keep her and her people physically and symbolically enchained was notable, significant and extremely touching.

As a couple, they had even considered calling a girl Catherine, but at once rejected the idea as his mother already thought highly of herself and they couldn't imagine having a mini Catherine Avery running around their house, trying to boss them around and giving them her unsolicited opinions. No matter how cute that would be.

"Tell you what," he began, "if it's a boy, we go with my choice, Eldridge, and if it's a girl, we go with Harriet."

He watched her as she deliberated his suggestion and eventually nodded in approval.

"I like that idea. Okay then, Eldridge Avery if it's a boy and Harriet Avery if it's a girl," she affirmed.

Just then, he grimaced and yelped uncontrollably as she squeezed his hand tight. He couldn't help the wave of pain that coursed though his body as the petite woman beside him with her tiny fists gripped him like a vice.

"Another contraction?" he asked thorough gritted teeth.

"Yes! Worse than before. I think this baby is coming, soon. My contractions are about three minutes apart now," she said as she groaned in concert.

"Relax, sweetheart. Remember your Lamaze training. Do you want me to help you get on your hands and knees? That should relieve some of the pressure," he added, trying to add anything he could to alleviate her pain.

"No, I'm fine. Just give me a second. I'll be okay," she said reassuringly.

Jackson watched her intently. Her brow creased as the pains shot through her. Her sweat soaked hair plastered to her head. Her skin flushed, not in arousal, but due to fatigue.

She must have felt his eyes on her because she scolded him, "Stop looking at me. I'm a mess."

"No, baby, you're not. I think you're gorgeous," he attested and pecked the back of her hand.

"No, I'm not," she wailed, "I'm fat and hideous and you're never gonna want to have sex with me again once I have this baby because I'm going to have a pooch and stretch marks everywhere."

He couldn't help but snort, "Are you joking? I am going to trail my tongue over any and every mark, blemish, freckle or line I find on your body and bring you to the brink of ecstasy each and every time," he whispered in her ear.

Her giggled response lightened the mood and then he saw something that made him want to slap himself.

A flash of her engagement ring set him in motion to do something he just now realized was very important.

He positioned himself so that he was on the edge of the bed and directly in front of her, "April?"

"What is it, Jackson? What's wrong?" she asked anxiously, no doubt startled by the look on his face.

"No, nothing is wrong. It's just that… What I want is… April, will you marry me?" he asked.

Now, it was her turn to stare in confusion, "Jackson, I already excepted your proposal, remember? I'm the one with the pregnancy brain, not you."

"I know that. What I'm saying is that I want you to marry me, here, now, before the baby is born," he stated with as much confidence as he could.

"What? You want to marry me now? We can't get married. My parents aren't here, and they already missed out on my first wedding. Well, technically my first marriage and I can't do that to them again. What about our family and friends? How would we even do this? We don't have a license, a ring for you, or a plan. Jackson, why do you want to do this now? I'm in labor. What are you th-"

He placed a finger over her lips to quiet her, "I know this seems crazy and impulsive, but I want to marry you before our baby is born. I want him or her to come into this world with married parents. I know you never complained but I know how important that would be to you and truthfully, I want that too. So, what do you say? I can have the hospital Chaplin up here in minutes and he can perform the ceremony. I know it would be symbolic more than anything until we do it officially, but for you, I know that in the eyes of your God, it would matter. I swear to you, I'll still give you the mints and the field filled with butterflies, but right now, I want you to be Mrs. Jackson Avery."

His unplanned speech complete, he waited in anticipation for her response and when a single tear fell from her eye and she kissed him full and hard on the lips, he knew he had his answer.

The next hour moved fast as he summoned the Chaplin to wed them in holy matrimony, Arizona to monitor April's progress and his mother to act as witness to their nuptials and her exultant reaction to being included assured him they were doing the right thing. But, he too had sworn to her that she would get a wedding she could announce in the society pages, that she could walk him down the isle and that his grandmother's Limoges cake topper would finally get put to use.

So, sixty minutes later, Jackson stood by April's bedside, her hand held in his as they recited their vows.

"I, Jackson Durham Avery, take thee, April Marie Kepner, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

His omittance to use in God's holy ordinance as part of his vows was not my mistake, but still he placed on her same finger, the ring she had removed minutes before.

"I, April Marie Kepner, take thee, Jackson Durham Avery, to be my wedded husband, argh!" she screamed.

"April? April, are you okay?" he turned to the other occupants in the room, "we have to stop. The baby's coming."

"No! No, we aren't stopping. I am marrying you before this baby is born so just be quiet and let me get through this," she ordered.

"Alright, my love. Continue," he said and brooked no further argument.

"To be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, ow, ow, ow, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, ugh, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to _cherish_ , till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance. Oh, God, hurry up Father, I can't take much more," she cried out.

They didn't have a ring for Jackson, so they just pantomimed.

Taking his cue, the Chaplin moved on, "By sharing your vows and exchanging your… rings here today, you two have decided to share the rest of your lives together. You are no longer two separate people but are one. Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jackson, you may kiss your bride."

Just as he bent over to kiss her, she let out an ear-splitting screech.

"Out, out! Everybody out! The baby is coming," she shrieked.

Jackson moved to the end of the bed and lifted the sheet and lo and behold, he saw the baby's crowning head.

"Okay, like my wife said, everybody out. Arizona, you stay, and somebody get a nurse in here!" he roared.

Thankfully, if nothing else, Grey Sloan Memorial was like a well-oiled machine. As the Chaplin and Catherine exited the room, two nurses entered.

"Remember your breathing techniques, babe. Inhale slowly through your nose while counting to four. Hold your breath and count to four. Exhale through your mouth while counting to four. Then repeat," he instructed.

"Oh, shut up! Just get over here and hold my hand" she ordered.

Being the dutiful husband as he intended on being he took heed and stood by her side.

"Alright, April, I see the head, now I need you to give me a push," Arizona told her.

"Ugh," she obeyed and pushed.

"Great. That's great. Okay, now come on. One more and let's get those shoulders out."

"You're doing great, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you," he said and kissed her brow.

She hollered and gave two big pushes and brought their baby into the world.

"It's a girl!"

 **EPILOGUE**

April sat up, legs crossed in front of her as best she could on the blanket they had spread across the grass. She and Jackson had taken Harriet out to the park which was close to their house to have a picnic. The weather had at last changed from typical overcast days of spring and now they were into the summer. It was a picturesque eighty degrees outside with a slight breeze and it was perfect.

As she set out the paper plates and plastic cutlery, she watched with a smile on her face as Jackson pushed Harriet on the swings. She had just turned two a week ago and the party she'd had was a huge success as evident by the tons of gifts she'd received and that she was greatly loved by their family and friends as the minuscule number of twenty they'd anticipated had swelled to over fifty people that drifted in and out over the afternoon and early evening.

She reclined back onto her palms and contemplated where they were now and how they had gotten here. They had moved into their new house three months ago and were blissfully settled into family life. After Harriet was born, they'd move in Jackson's home as they'd immediately sold the apartment April had lived in. Jackson had taken paternity leave while she took maternity and they reveled in all things Harriet for twelve weeks as this was a new experience for them due to never having gotten the chance to take Samuel home.

Those first few weeks with Harriet they barely slept, and it wasn't because the baby kept them up at night but because they watched her closely for signs if anything were to go wrong. If it wasn't her it was Jackson who'd sneak into her room on an hourly basis to make sure she was still breathing. They knew it didn't make sense, they were doctors for God's sake, they knew what to look out for. Still, it didn't alter their routine. In fact, it was a full month before they allowed visitors other than Catherine or her parents to spend time with Harriet. It was an irrational fear, but they worried about germs and outside contaminates and kept a steady supply of Purell at the ready for anyone who wanted to hold her. April would sanitize and re-sanitize the baby bottles for Jackson to use when April didn't have the opportunity to breastfeed. She washed her baby clothes and linens with dreft laundry detergent and made sure every toy and present she received was given a diluted bleach bath, followed by soap and water before even thinking of letting Harriet touch any of it. Thankfully, that crazed period didn't last long as it was extremely tiring and by the time Harriet turned three months, they were behaving like every other normal set of parents with a newborn.

When it was time for them to go back to work April nearly had a breakdown. Even though Harriet would be attending the hospital daycare center, the tears still flowed unchecked as she and Jackson dropped her off before heading to work. He'd had to practically pry her fingers away as they left out and she made the attendants on duty make sure to text her every hour on the hour to assure her that Harriet was okay. Turns out, it was one of the most stressful days she'd had in years. The ER had been bombarded with causalities from an apartment building fire and she and Jackson both ended up in surgeries. They never had a chance to go and check on their daughter all day like they'd planned to and by the time their shifts were over, and they picked her up, they held her onto her as if they'd hadn't seen her in days.

She was sure Harriet didn't even notice their absence.

Those early days were wonderful as they took joy in celebrating all of Harriet's firsts. Her first real smile occurred when she was two months old. Jackson had been making googly-eyes at her then tickled her stomach and she burst out in a fit of giggles at her father and his silly antics.

Then there was the first time she rolled over at four months old. She was laying on her playmat with a Baby Einstein Bendy Ball when it got away for her. She and Jackson were sitting on the couch working on separate projects on their laptops for work when April stretched her arm out to get it for her when Harriet rolled onto her belly and reached for the toy herself.

At five months, her first tooth came in and the knowledge of this was found out the hard way. Sure, she had been irritable, drooling and gnawing on anything she could get her hands on, but when Jackson went to apply some baby Orajel to help soothe her swollen and sensitive gums and she bit down hard on the tip of his finger, that's when they knew the tooth had fully come in. The band-aid he wore over the afflicted digit and proudly told the story to his friends like Karev; who really didn't care, but she thought was sweet of him, she found endearing.

Harriet was seven months old the first time she crawled, and it happened just as she was about to give her a bath. Jackson was watching a game and she was sitting on the floor. April had called out to her as she entered the room and let her know that it was bath time when Harriet turned onto her hands and knees and rushed forward behind the couch. She and Jackson looked at each other incredulously then broke out in uproarious laughter at her response.

The first time she walked she was eleven months old. She started at ten months by bouncing up and down on her feet as she held onto the coffee table. She'd been testing her strength and ability on wobbly little legs for months. Bending her knees, squatting then standing and finally when she'd been given a pair of hard bottom walking shoes, it took her a few days, but she got the hang of it and it wasn't long before she and Jackson were chasing their precocious child around the house.

The first time she said a real word was at a year old. Of course, she had been babbling for months but they were mostly nonsensical words. They were able to discern what she wanted because she usually pointed in conjunction, but the day she said her first word that was clear and concise had sent them reeling. Catherine and Richard had been over for dinner and they were in the midst of eating when she called out the word diba. Initially, they just shrugged it off as more babble until she started banging her spoon against her high chair. "Diba, diba, diba", she repeated until she pointed at what she wanted and what she wanted was a person. Catherine had taken to calling Harriet diva, and what Harriet wanted now was her grandma. The groans that they managed to hold in took all their internal fortitude. Don't get her wrong, she loved Jackson's mother almost as much as he did, but their hope was that Harriet would say mama or dada first, not diva. Catherine's resulting smugness was apparent indeed.

Over the next few months, her vocabulary expanded exponentially. Normally, most babies at this age would know about half a dozen words, but Harriet new considerably more, with no being her most favorite. She seemed to pick up things quickly and that should have come as no surprise. Harriet had all her firsts earlier than the average child. She was able to identify animals, colors and shapes by the flashcards April would show her. She'd say moo or baa, woof depending on if it was a cow, sheep, or dog she saw. April would lay out three cards on the floor so as not to make it too confusing, and Harriet would pick out either the red, blue, or green ones accordingly. Jackson spent a lot of time reinforcing educational playtime and she knew difference between her triangle, square and circle blocks. So, they reviled in all things Harriet for a year and a half until they were blessed with another gift.

Six months ago, April got pregnant. What was so different from Samuel's and Harriet's conception was that this pregnancy was planned. After Harriet turned four months old, they had a conversation about having more children. April always hoped to have a house full of kids and felt it was important that Harriet not be an only child and to her relief, he agreed. He said it was lonely growing up on his own. Sure, he had the money and the popularity, but those things were fleeting, and he wished that he had someone to talk to about what he was going through after his father left because of one thing he was sure. Robert Avery would have left regardless. What they also agreed upon was that they wanted to wait until Harriet turned at least one before trying.

Since they were remarried, she didn't believe in using birth control, so this was a tricky situation. They loved having sex. No, that wasn't right. They LOVED having sex and the two months they waited until after Harriet was born to resume their activities was pure torture. She didn't want to go on the pill, nor did she want any foreign contraptions placed inside her body. The rhythm method couldn't be counted on to work as they proved to be extremely fertile, so their only other option was condoms. This worked just fine though there were a few close calls when their passions got the best of them and if it weren't for him pulling out, they would have been pregnant a lot sooner than they were now.

April placed her hand on her belly and rubbed lovingly at the babies inside. Yes, they were having twins. Twin boys to be exact. After Harriet turned six months old, they came back to the table and discussed the perfect time to start the baby making machine. One thing she knew was that they would need more space. Jackson's house was nice, but she wanted so much more for them all. She wanted a two-story home, with enough rooms so each child could have their own. She wanted a huge backyard with space for a treehouse and a jungle gym. She wanted an area where they could entertain all their family and friends on special occasions and holidays. She wanted a big kitchen where she could make her mother and grandmothers' recipes then pass down the traditions and her love of cooking to Harriet and their other children. She wanted to create a rich life, full of happy memories for her family so not long after that, they went house hunting.

When they began their search, they utilized a realtor because of their hectic schedules and the amenities they required were simple. A family friendly neighborhood preferably within walking distance to a park because shew thought it was important that Harriet and their boys have access to kids other than their own siblings. Reasonable driving distance to the hospital because even though they were attendants and had a more flexible work schedule, they could still be summoned at odd hours. At least five bedrooms and four baths plus a large basement that she could turn into a playroom. It rained quite often in Seattle and she needed somewhere her kids could still run and play while staying dry. Also, a benefit of their being doctors and of Jackson's massive trust fund was that they had the wherewithal to buy any house they wanted. Still, she wanted to be practical. She didn't expect to live in a mansion the size of Harper's though technically, they could afford to buy one, no mortgage needed.

So, after months of looking at several properties and various models, they opted to build from the ground up inside a newly developed gated community. They had several floor plans available and all it took was a bit of modification and before they knew it, their new home was being built. Another benefit of having money was that the house was constructed using the Rule of Two of the renovation business. Your home could be remodeled either good, fast, or cheap. They picked the first and second options. With the aid of an interior decorator, the inside was furnished quickly, and they excitedly moved in.

When they finally did get pregnant, imagine their shock when one, it happened on almost the first try and two, they were carrying more than one baby. When they got their first ultrasound and found out it was twins, they made the choice to find out the sex of the babies as soon as possible. So, five months in, they learned they were having boys. To say they were overjoyed is the least that could be said. They knew in their hearts that this wasn't a replacement for Samuel and she'd slap the face of anyone who said so. This was their family growing and they just so happened to be doubly blessed.

Using a hand to shield her eyes from the sun, she looked across the field as Jackson chased behind Harriet as she ran away, net in hand. She smiled brightly as the loves of her life delighted in their activity. They had been outside for a few hours, taking a walk by the pond, helping Harriet build sandcastles in the sand pit and watching her take her first trip down the slide like a champ.

"Jackson! Harriet! Time to eat," she called out.

Moments later, they came trotting up to her, Harriet's prize in hand.

"Look mama. Bhu-fwy," she said to her, presenting the blue, black and white trophy trapped in the net.

They had taken her on a trip to the Pacific Science Center and their Butterfly House exhibit last month and she had become enamored with the colorful insects, demanding a net of her own so that she could catch some.

"Oh, nugget, that is beautiful, but how about we let her go so that she can be with her family and you sit here with me and daddy, so you can fill up your tummy," she asked, tickling her belly for effect.

Harriet opened her net, her mouth wide in amazement as the butterfly took off.

"You okay, babe?" Jackson asked her, then kissed her forehead sweetly, "If you're uncomfortable, we can eat at home."

"No, I'm fine. The boys are fine and we're having too much fun to leave," she replied.

Jackson sat next to her and plopped Harriet in the middle as she dished out their packed lunch. As they sat enjoying their food, she thought back to all that had transpired over the years.

Meeting Jackson at Mercy West. The merger with Seattle Grace hospital. The shooting by Gary Clark. Her being appointed Chief Resident. Losing her virginity to Jackson at the boards and subsequently failing them and getting fired. Being rehired then renewing her sexual relationship with Jackson. The pregnancy scare, and them splitting up. Him telling her that he was sleeping with Stephanie thereby breaking her heart. Her misguided relationship with Matthew. Jackson almost dying and her confessing that she wanted him only to be denied. Him bravely standing up at her wedding and them choosing each other. Their elopement and the blowback. Realizing that they did have several points of contention in their marriage. The happiness that came when they found out she was pregnant. The sadness when they were told that their baby had Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Samuel's birth, then death. What she recognizes now as postpartum depression. Leaving for Jordan to try and move past his death. Her second trip to Jordan and the resulting determent of her marriage. Reconciling briefly then being handed divorce papers. The day she signed the divorce papers and finding out she was pregnant. Choosing not to revel the pregnancy until the right time, but ultimately being outed by Arizona. Jackson and Catherine attempting to take custody of the baby once it was born. Jackson stopping the court action and telling her that she used to be his best friend and favorite person, then them making a plan to share joint custody. The day he asked her if he could be her Lamaze partner and asserting that he wanted to be more involved. The changes he made toward her and admitting that he still loved her and wanted to try again. The months where they began dating again. Them attending therapy which they continued well into Harriet's first year of life. Jackson asking her to marry him, again. The Harper Avery Gala and how Jackson stood up for her. Then giving birth and getting married on the same day.

To say it had been an interesting ride was an understatement.

They did have the wedding of her dreams once Harriet turned eight months old. Oh, they'd had the official certificate recorded with the state a week after their impromptu vows in her hospital room. This ceremony was mainly for family and friends who'd been robbed of their joyous event. Twice now. So, on that day, April stood at the altar with Harriet in her arms because she cried and cried to be with her parents and Jackson by her side. And now, here they were. Three, soon to become five in a place she always dreamed to be.

Jackson, her husband, and true love next to her. Their beautiful, smart, healthy child between them. New lives growing inside of her. Them, out in the sunshine, sitting in a field, surrounded by butterflies.

* * *

 **A/N: Chapter title song – The Beginning by John Legend**

 **I will continue to write Japril fanfic, so no worries. My love for them is eternal and they will live on in my heart, mind, and stories.**


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